Testing the Bonds
by cokesuicide
Summary: When Alice moved to Forks she found the love of her life. And his secret. Now she must find a way to be with him, despite all the odds and her own relationship with her twin sister, Bella.
1. Yin & Yang

**Disclaimer:** I do not own _Twilight_ or anything relating to it. Only these words.

**Note:** This is Alice's version of the story, _Sisterly Bonds_, by quail1982. I thought we should know Alice's side of the story, so I asked her if I could write this and she said yes. So I did. And will continue doing so. If you happened to see this one first, go read her story and see Bella's point of view. And...thank you for reading mine. (It will get better as the story progresses.)

* * *

I liked living in Phoenix, but I couldn't say I loved it. My twin sister, Isabella, on the other hand, loved Phoenix. It had Mom, Phil, sun, warmth; and those were only some of the reasons why she hated the move from our home to a house we barely stepped in. I tried to make her happy with some new clothes, especially a cute new coat, but I noticed it seemed to make her feel worse. But I didn't let it bother me. If I was the outgoing one with grace to match my style, she had to be the introverted klutz in need of a call to the fashion police. For every yin there had to be a yang.

Just like our parents.

Mom, Renee, was like me. She was outgoing and disliked anyone who wanted to pin her down, which I knew was hard for Dad, Charlie. He was the sensible one, the one who knew a family needed an income. But that lead both of them to start down different paths in life. Even two kids couldn't change that. The times Bella and I visited, I could tell he was still sad about the past. Then we started visiting less and less, and I knew my dad was hurting all over again. That was why I started planting the idea in Bella's head to go visit him more than a few weeks a year. It was just icing on the cake that Phil played minor league baseball and went on the road for weeks at a time.

And that was how I ended up moving from a place I only liked to a place I secretly loved.

When we arrived at the airport, I handed Bella her new coat. I already felt this move was the right one for the both of us. I didn't voice this thought to Bella since I knew she would just blow me off, so I smiled at her and bounced off into the rain and towards Dad. She seemed to appreciate that as much as the new coat, but the slightly sour attitude of Bella left me to make conversation for most of the car ride home.

As soon as the car stopped, I jumped out of it and grabbed the two suitcases I brought. Those, along with the bag I brought with me on the plane were the only bags I was allowed to bring, a rare order from Mom. So I resolved to buy the rest of my wardrobe in Forks and hoped Bella wouldn't mind having less than half the closet. Charlie called me back before I made it to the front door so he could show the two of us his new purchase: a 1950's red Chevy truck. To me, it wasn't the best looking vehicle around. I would have loved something a little more streamlined, a bit sleeker, and much faster than something from the '50's could ever go. When he looked back at me with a smile on his face, all I could do was look back at him as if someone just passed gas. With a quick flash of sorry across my features, I turned myself back around and headed to the room Bella and I would be sharing.

Our room was upstairs, and it looked the same as the last time I saw it. Even the cork board still had a few clothing designs I drew and subsequently forgotten during the time away. My finger slowly ran over the scraps of blue and purple fabric pinned next to it, and I wondered where I left the rest. I didn't take long trying to figure out where since I knew I'd find it as soon as I started unpacking; fabric didn't have legs until someone sewed them into pants. Moving past fabric, I stopped at a picture of Mom and Dad during happier times. It was a reject from a photo album I made years ago of all the pictures Mom left at Charlie's, but I didn't have the heart to throw it out. If the camera had been positioned correctly, the two of them would have been seen underneath a tree, holding each other. Instead, Mom probably forgot she had the zoom on, causing everything around them to fade away and the picture to focus on their waists. To me, that was the most important part of the picture.

By the time Bella had started to unpack, I already had half of the closet and one drawer of the dresser already claimed. I shrugged my shoulders when she started having trouble fitting the rest of her hangers onto her side. "Sorry?" She sighed and shook her head, telling me without words she was going to let it go for now.

"Let's go for a drive in Tank," I suggested after a good hour had passed and all we had done was come up with a name for the truck. "Maybe I can get an idea of a decent place around here to get a job so I can have money for shopping." When there was no protest from the other side, I pushed myself up from the bed and grabbed my purse and coat. I saw the keys sitting on the desk, but I paused, thinking about having to drive the monstrosity. I took the keys and threw them at Bella, washing my hands of that burden. "You drive."

It didn't take long to see what Forks had to offer. Nothing much had changed. The same restaurants. The same grocery store. The same small used car dealership. A few places had closed and a couple more took their places. Nothing looked like a great place for me to work other than the fabric store, but I was sure it wasn't hiring. The whole trip was depressing and I went back home with a frown plastered on my face.

"The people of Forks better be more exciting than its stores," I said to the window as Bella pulled into the driveway, even though, deep down, I already knew they were.


	2. Different

**Disclaimer:** I do not own _Twilight_ or its characters.

Thought I forgot about this, didn't you...

* * *

I couldn't hold my excitement once my eyes opened. Bella had already jumped in and out of the shower before I finally decided what outfit I was going to wear. The royal blue skirt with cream lace peeking out from the bottom which, once on, would stop about a half an inch above my knees and cream colored shirt to match the lace along with the caramel colored brown knee high boots would make the perfect first day of school look. I only hoped Bella chose something a little prettier than a sweater and jeans, but I knew I was setting myself up for a disappointment. At least she was going to wear that good looking coat. She would definitely get a compliment or two on that; I was sure of it.

We made it to school and received our schedules without too much trouble. My second disappointment of the day happened to be when we saw the only period we had together was lunch.

"At least we have that, right?" I commented, trying to make her feel better. It didn't work, and, by the time we left for our first classes, she looked as though today was going to turn out as the worst day of her life.

I walked into my first class and easily got the teacher's signature I was required to get on one of the papers from the office. Two seconds later, I was seated at a desk near an overly happy girl who seemed to like talking a lot about boys, fashion, and herself. I waited until she paused to take a breath and introduced myself.

She took a moment to look at my clothes. "Hi! I'm Jessica. Love your skirt."

I smiled back, relishing the complement. "Thanks. I -" I wanted to add how I liked her red off the shoulder shirt, but the teacher started his lecture with a booming, "Civil War!"

For the rest of the class I kept my face in my hand and my elbow resting on the desk as my other hand took notes and scribbled clothing designs in the margins. Needless to say, I barely paid attention and relished any attention before and after to let me forget about the needless information that school was all about.

Soon it was lunch and a much needed social break. I ended up walking over to a table with most of the people I already met and politely asked if I could join them seeing as how they were pretty nice to me so far. It didn't take long before I noticed Bella slowly walking in as if she were afraid of being in a room full of people exactly like her.

"Bella!" I called, getting her attention so she'd come over to the table to at least try to socialize. Seeing how the student population of this school was less than our graduating class, I would have thought she might actually enjoy it here. But I supposed it would take a couple of months to let her guard down and finally get rid of her old, introverted self for once. Or it could be never. But I was going to try until she started scratching my eyes out. "This is Tyler, Ben, Connor, Lee, Samantha, Angela, Eric, Lauren, Mike I guess, and Jessica, who you already know."

The rest of the lunch period went by uneventful until Bella spoke up. "Who are they?" The question brought a group of people to my attention. I looked at them and their fairly similar features and quickly wondered the same thing.

"That's the Cullens. They're all Dr. and Mrs. Cullen's foster children," Jessica piped up. "The tall blond girl is Rosalie Hale. She's dating Emmett McCarty, the muscular guy next to her with the dark curly hair."

I followed the people. The blond, Rosalie, had great fashion sense, and I could tell she knew that. It didn't take a genius to realize she believed she was better than anyone in this room. I didn't let it get to me, though. If she got on my bad side, she wouldn't hear the end of it. I could also be a bit of a spitfire. My eyes moved past her to the overly muscular guy who was probably on everyone's 'Tall, Dark, and Handsome' list. While he looked nice, he didn't hold anything to the man sporting the honey blond hair. He looked taller than I was, but, at 4'10, everyone was taller than me. While Emmett looked happy and Rosalie looked indifferent and maybe a little angry, the honey blond pained, sad, and depressed. I immediately felt something, although what it was, I didn't know. I just knew I needed to meet him. But first…

"Who's the cute blond guy?" I asked, a sheepish smile playing across my face.

"The guy who always looks in pain is Jasper Whitlock."

_Jasper Whitlock_, I repeated to myself as my sister spoke up. "And what about the bronze haired one?" I tore my eyes from Jasper and looked at the man with the too chiseled features, something that would earn him millions of dollars in modeling contracts.

"That's Edward Masen. He's good looking, but no girl here is good enough for him," said Jessica with a sigh that had an edge. I laughed inwardly as I realized he _would_ be the one my sister was stuck on.

I pulled my eyes away from the table as each of them slowly looked up to give our table an angry glare. Well, everyone but Jasper and Emmett. I didn't stop looking at Jasper and tried my best to hide it every time I glanced.

"Why the sudden interest in Jasper?" asked Bella after the twentieth time I turned to look.

"He looks so sad," I said truthfully. "I want to make him feel good." I smiled a determined smile. It was something I always showed when I was ready to take on a big project. And usually it was a project involving Bella. "I bet he's just waiting for a woman who will make him happy and sweep him off his feet."

"I thought you wanted to be swept off your feet." I nodded, remembering the times when I was younger and danced with Renee as the prince in the kitchen.

"I do, but I have to sweep him off his feet first," I finally answered, knowing full well he wouldn't have that frown if he had ever been in love.

As if on cue, Jasper stood up with his tray of untouched food. I took a deep breath and stood up, "Time to go find a way to talk to him." Only one tiny step later, I saw Edward lean near Jasper and his lips move. Then I saw Jasper silently sit down. I let go of that breath and my shoulders fell. Not looking away from the two of them, I sat down again.

"Let me know when he stands up again."

Jasper didn't – or wasn't allowed to – stand up again which put me in a slightly sour mood after lunch. I tried not letting it show as I walked to my next class with some of the people from the lunch table, but I was sure I wasn't doing a good job. No one seemed to notice, though, and I soon made my way out of the locker room and into the gym.

After a day of boring classes, I was glad to have lunch and P.E. next to each other. I was probably more excited about P.E. than anything because I would be able to just let go and have a good time as nothing came easier than sports or dance to me. Even my muddled thoughts didn't have a chance to trip me up.

And today was no different.

As soon as I stepped into the gym, I started asking around about Jasper. Knowing I only had a couple classes left, I wasn't feeling hopeful about running into him. It turned out I was right. He was a senior and there was no chance we would run into each other as it was obvious he didn't have P.E. with the other seniors since he would have been standing with them at the opposite end of the gym. It was seriously going to slow down my plan when I couldn't even get close to him. Lunch would have been an ideal place, but with his family right there...

"Alice," Tyler called me, breaking me away from my new funk. "You're on my team."

The rest of the school day was uneventful as the beginning. By the time I met up with Bella, I had already decided I was going to do whatever it took to get closer to Jasper. My declaration brightened me up and made me laugh that much harder at my sister's ability to be the most accident prone person I knew.

I almost forgot about returning our signed paper back to the office secretary, Mrs. Cope, when Bella pulled me toward it. It was there I saw the object of my ire sweetly arguing with the secretary. My sister stopped in her tracks and I couldn't quite figure out what was going on until he practically growled, "I guess there's no point in trying," at her. After pushing past us, I was about to turn and go after him, but Bella stopped me, placing her hand on my arm.

"Let it go."

A few questions about how our day went later and the two of us were walking back to our car. A shiny object caught my attention and I turned my eyes toward a silver Volvo. Edward's face was the first I saw which indicated Jasper was somewhere-

And there he was.

I smiled. I don't know if it was the smile that caught his attention or the motion of an almost waving hand did it, but I was glad something did because he looked at me. And I knew I wasn't mistaking that.

"He looked at me!" I burst out. Bella barely nodded and I could tell she was still brooding over something. My tone turned serious. "I would have yelled at Edward for being so cruel to you."

"I know, but it obviously wouldn't have done any good."

"He has absolutely no right to be that way with you. What could you have done to him? You're one of the most timid people I know," I grumbled as I stepped up to the truck.

"I don't know what I did," she shrugged back before explaining the whole story of Biology class as we made our way to the grocery story to stock up Charlie's fridge. As it went on, I moved my arms from my side to cross in front of my chest, the happy mood turning sour.

"That certainly doesn't give him the right to be that rude. Tomorrow I'm going to confront him about it."

"No!" she shouted. "I'll deal with him on my own tomorrow."

She pulled into the grocery store's parking lot. We both knew I wanted to say more, but I held it in and instead shouted back, "Yea! Shopping!"

It wasn't long before the day called for an ending and we ended up in our double bed. I stared into the dark wall while I thought about the day and how tomorrow was going to be better. I felt the need to lift my sister's spirits up just one more time, but all that spilled out was, "If Edward doesn't start acting civilly towards you, I'll take care of him for you."

"I know," she answered and I could feel her moving beside me.

"I hope Jasper isn't like that."

She didn't know what to say. I could tell by the slightly uncomfortable air between us. I knew this was a Renee situation, but I didn't care. Renee wasn't here and Charlie was even more clueless as to what to say. I only hoped Bella would reach out with at least one or two words of encouragement. When nothing did come, I closed my eyes.

_He won't be._


	3. Determined

**Disclaimer:** I do not own _Twilight_ or its characters.

* * *

"He's not here today," I said, coming up behind Bella who stopped just inside of the cafeteria doors. She was looking at the table which was now missing Public Enemy #1. I was glad that he wasn't, only so I could delude myself into thinking he was scared of her.

"Could you buy me something to drink?" she asked and I nodded as she walked to the table and I moved into the line. I tried not to be happy for myself or at least as happy as I was when I first looked through the cafeteria doors' windows, but it was _so_ hard. The road block between me and Jasper was lifted.

Getting back to the table was easy. Keeping my eyes off the tragically single man was not. Every now and then, I swore I saw him look at me too, but I was never quite sure. There was a way to find out, and the only block on that road was my sister. However, this roadblock was easy to bust through.

"Bell, I think we need to introduce ourselves to everyone in the cafeteria."

"Can we not?" she whined, but I stood up, continuing on my path.

"I would chew out Edward for you, so please just help me find a way to introduce myself to Jasper," I half heartedly begged, knowing she would cave in under my best puppy dog eyes.

As soon as the eyes started rolling, I knew she was ready, so I pulled her with me toward the left side of the room so I could leave the best table for last. I confidently walked up to each table with a smile on my face and a hitch in my step. "Hi, I just wanted to introduce myself. I'm Alice Swan and this is my sister, Bella. We just moved here from Phoenix." Each person introduced themselves, but after the fifth table I pretty much forgotten who was at table number one.

"Thank you. I hope to get to know you better throughout the semester," I finished and turned away. Now that I made it through the other tables unscathed, the prize was mine.

I walked up completely sure of myself that this was going to work. "Hi, I just wanted to introduce myself. I'm Alice Swan and this is my sister, Bella. We just moved here from Phoenix," I repeated with a smile, barely taking my eyes off Jasper. The wait was long, but it looked as though I was going to be rewarded.

"We like to keep to ourselves," Rosalie shot at us and I shot back at her a glare she didn't wait to see. Emmett chided his girlfriend. And Jasper still didn't say anything.

"Y-" I started, but Bella broke in front of me to say, "I'm sorry. We won't bother you again," and then pulled me away from the table.

I turned my glare to Bella. "Why didn't you let me tell her off?"

"Because this family obviously does think it's above everyone else. First Edward and now Rosalie. I don't care how cute you think he is or how much you want to cheer him up because he clearly hangs out with the snobbiest people in town. And maybe it's best not to find out if he's just like them."

"But that Emmett guy was standing up to Rosalie."

"Yeah, but Jasper didn't say anything at all," she pointed out. I knew she spoke the truth which made me stop trying to pursue my argument in order to tend to my superficial wounds. Sitting down at the table, Bella explained what we were trying to do and it only resulted in making my wound worse thanks to all the salt they kept pouring in.

I was glad lunch was pretty much over after they stopped commenting about the 'too good for anyone' Cullens because all of it was leaving a bad taste in my mouth. I moved quietly over to the trash can with Bella following on my heels. I wanted to turn to her and tell her in a not so nice way to step off, but I figured that wouldn't look so good in the middle of a cafeteria. Not long after I threw my trash away, I could feel another presence beside me. I was going to give the new being an evil glare, but, to my very happy surprise, it was Jasper.

"I'm sorry ma'am." I smiled up at him as he spoke in a slight southern drawl. "I'm Jasper."

"Alice," I answered back, my voice floating above the clouds with the rest of my body.

"Sometimes Rosalie can be a bit rude. I can assure you that not all of us feel the same way as she does." A smile flashed across his features. It was so quick and unsure it almost made him look more pained than happy to be near me.

"It's okay," I answered, saving his expression to worry over later since I wasn't going to waste what little time we had left.

"I should be getting to class. I'll meet you outside the cafeteria after school," my sister said quietly as she moved away from the two of us. I smiled as big as I could without scaring Jasper as I nodded my okay.

After Bella moved away from the two of us, my mouth started moving before my brain, "So, who is _not all of us_?" I waited for about a half a second before I turned to leave the conversation, knowing I had already blown it. Deep down, though, I knew I was just hoping he would stop me or follow me. It would give him an easy out and I was sure he could use a few of those when around me.

He stayed with me. I barely had time to put my hands on the main door to the cafeteria, but he was there, next to me, his hands getting ready to push on my door's companion. I blushed and pushed the door. "You don't have to answer that. I should have started out with: Where did you get that accent from."

"Texas," he said with the same small smile. "Houston."

A moment was taken to look at Jasper. With his pale skin, I couldn't imagine him spending any time in sun drenched Houston. I snuck a peek at my hands and noticed how light they were compared to just a couple of days ago. Forks didn't take long to suck the life out of everything. I wondered briefly how long it took Jasper's skin to fade from a healthy glow to a slightly sickly pastel.

"Is there something wrong?"

I shook my head as I tried to assure him through a smile I was fine. "Houston is a long way from Forks. Do Mr. and Mrs. Cullen ever miss the sun?"

It was his turn to look away and turn silent for a moment. "That was before I lived with them," he said, still not looking at me.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring up bad memories." I lifted my hand to touch his shoulder comfortingly, but he pulled away just before I could brush against his red, buttoned down shirt. I let my hand fall back to my side.

"They're not all bad." He turned his head back to me, but his eyes failed to reach mine. "Rosalie was with me."

"Oh."

"She is my twin sister."

"But," I started, easily remembering how she had no accent at the lunch table, "you have an accent."

"She hides it. She thinks people will look at her differently."

"I don't see how." By this time, we both made it to my next class. I wanted to reach out and give him a short friendly hug, but I knew he would just pull away again like he did last time. I also wanted to ask him about that action. _Later_, I told myself, which satisfied me for the moment. "You should get to your class before you're late."

"Don't worry," he answered, acting as if he just told a joke.

Unaware of what was funny, I shrugged and smiled. "See you tomorrow?"

"Yes, ma'am." With that, he nodded and walked away to his next class.

I lingered at the door to watch him leave. In doing so, I spotted Rosalie at another building forty feet away. From what I could see, she didn't look pleased. I knew I was going to be late if I paused any longer, so I pushed open the door and headed for the locker room.

By the end of the week, my intrusion into the Cullen's uneventful life was progressing ever so slightly. I took it as a good thing since I could tell Jasper wanted me to keep intruding. Little glances across the cafeteria, a small conversation here, a quick smile while passing each other between classes, it was all a sign to come closer. And I had my chance once everyone started talking about going to the movies.

I passed Jasper as I filed out of the cafeteria, making him call my name to catch me. Even though I was the one who was chasing him, it felt nice hear him coming after me with my name on his lips. It made me feel as though he was starting to care less about what his family thought and more about what he wanted. I made sure to give him a big smile once he saw my face to show him with expressions rather than touch how much I enjoyed it. "My friends and I are going out to the movies tonight. Would you like to join us?"

Emotions played across his face, each one blinking quickly before the next one pushed it out. I saw happiness first, followed by hope, confusion, anticipation, trust, fear, until it settled on disappointment. "I'm sorry, but I don't think I'll be allowed to."

Defeated. Slightly angry. But mostly defeated. That was my expression and I tried to shake it away so he apologetic wouldn't sit on his face. The last thing I needed was for him to try and console me. But I guess it didn't work because he quickly added, "Maybe the next time." The anger was still there, but I hid it as hope pushed defeated away from my eyes.

"I'll hold you to it."

Again, like that first day, the moment Jasper and I split into our separate paths, I saw Rosalie off in the distance. "I'll get him," I mouthed with a smile, barely making a sound. And for a brief instant, I swore she knew exactly what I said.


	4. Fade to Black

**Disclaimer:** I do not own _Twilight_ or its characters.

Another chapter! I am on a roll!

And...thanks to the reviewers and Miss. quail1982 for being my beta reader and putting up with me.

* * *

The movie wasn't special. By the next day, I couldn't even remember what we saw. I do know I went, because I could still remember Lauren trying to get under my skin with quick jabs at Jasper. I could only imagine what happened when she wanted to get close to him. Or it could have been Edward. That would have been better. I was relieved when Bella and I ran into an old friend, Jacob. He seemed to be the only saving grace of the evening. Plus, it kept Bella busy while I imagined how the night could have gone with Jasper. How we wouldn't have been near them, not in the car or the theater, and how I would have counted it as our first date.

When Monday rolled around, the last thing on my mind was the movie. Snow was starting to fall. It was the wet stuff, the stuff that stayed stuck in a ball when you tried lobbing it at your favorite southerner. And I did between math and history when he was walking the opposite direction with Rosalie. It took him by surprise, but, before I knew it, he smiled and threw a weak one at me.

"See ya later," I laughed, brushing the snow off the front of my red knee length trench coat. He gave me a small nod and continued on his way.

I looked at Jasper when entering the cafeteria per my usual lunchtime routine. Instead of seeing a trio, I saw a quartet. Edward was back. I wondered how my sister was going to react. After getting my lunch, a spinach salad, I sat down next to Bella and leaned over so I could whisper, "Edward's back."

It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that was the first time she noticed. So I changed the subject. "I actually hit Jasper in the chest with a snowball. He just smiled at me before he lobbed a rather weak one back."

"That's nice," she halfheartedly answered. I sighed but didn't push her for the rest of lunch because I didn't need to. It was easy to notice how nervous she was to just see him. Next period she had to talk to him. Looking out of the corner of my eyes at her, I knew she wasn't going to do anything about how he treated her before he left. I would have to.

"Are you going to be okay in biology?" I finally asked. When she didn't answer me, I waved a hand in front of her face and asked again.

"Yeah, he's the one with the problem."

I pursed my lips, and looked back toward Jasper to let him know I wasn't going to walk with him today. My sister needed me.

I tried to get her to talk about something: what we were going to do this weekend; how she liked the movie last Friday; Jacob; anything. Nothing seemed to work. It was as if Edward put her under a spell. I only hoped he wasn't the only one who could break it.

It wasn't until she was driving home she actually spoke to me. I wanted to hear how she told him off, but I didn't get it. I got a story about how Edward subdued her, how he let her forget about their heated meeting in the office by turning the conversation to Jasper and me. And I had to admit, it worked for me too.

"Do you think Jasper's broken hearts before?"

"I don't know," she answered. "But I'm thinking that you should just be friends with him until you really know him in case he does have a shady past."

"Sure," I said, my tone disappointed and a little angry. Her advice was going to be taken seriously, but she also had to know I wasn't going to stay away. She was practical; if something needed to be stayed away from, she was going to stay away. I was emotional; if someone told me not to do it, that was the first thing I was going to do.

And I didn't want to be _just friends_.

**88888**

"That's it," I said after watching Bella fall twice on the ice as she walked to the truck. "Do you want me to drive?"

"No way I'm letting you drive." She smirked and held the keys above her head knowing I wasn't going to go for them in case I fell and ruined my clothes. "You drive too fast for even perfect conditions. Besides, I thought you didn't want to get caught driving Tank around anyway."

I crossed my arms and tapped my toes on the rocky driveway. "Well, maybe I'm afraid that with how slow you drive normally, you'll be driving extra slow today."

"You're right. We are going to be driving slower because I don't want to end up in the morgue," she said, jumping into the truck.

"Fine," I groaned to no one and walked to the other side to get in.

It actually wasn't a bad drive and we ended up arriving earlier than planned. I was expecting some sliding, the back end weaving around turns, but there was nothing. Then I realized something. "Maybe Charlie put snow chains on the tires." I jumped out and, sure enough, I was right. "Bella! Look! Isn't that wonderful of him?" He probably did it just before going to work. I smiled and made a mental note to thank him later with a gift from me and a great dinner from Bella.

_Bella… _

My eyes were still looking at the chains on the tires, but my mind was on Bella and it wasn't about her cooking. I could feel my face dropping as the dread filled my body. Something was wrong, something terrible. My head shot up and I was immediately staring at Bella.

Everything around me vanished. I wasn't in a school parking lot. I was in a blackened room with two spotlights hanging above my sister and me. "Bella, something really bad is going to happen!"

"Is it one of your premonitions?" she asked and I nodded. "Maybe it's because Jasper's coming this way and Edward's chasing him down." She pointed behind me and I started turning my head around. Nothing was fast enough. Everything turned into some kind of slow motion scene from a poorly acted action movie. I barely turned my face an inch when something hard slammed into me, pushing me away from the back of the truck toward the front.

I felt the air push out of my lungs as if my back was slammed into a brick wall. The sound of it was louder than I expected. I gasped in a short breath as I was turned around a little too quickly for my eyes to adjust. I listened to the sound of my rapidly beating heart as they adjusted. The darkness was still around me, but Bella was nowhere to be seen. It was only Jasper.

I started to mouth my sister's name, but Jasper smiled. It flashed so quickly over his features I wasn't sure I saw it, but I wouldn't allow the denial. My hands slowly grabbed onto the fabric of his sweater lying on his chest and formed fists. They tried to dig into his skin, but they weren't allowed to move any farther than that. I touched enough people to know their skin was supposed to have some give, but Jasper's didn't. It was hard. And cold. I could feel his lack of warmth even through the thick sweater.

My mouth formed a 'what', and the voice failed to follow. I could feel both of us leaning closer to each other until hearing metal crunching into metal jarred me from the reverie. My fists flattened but left visible crumples in Jasper's shirt as we both pushed away from each other. The darkness around us started fading. The loud beating of my heart started fading. My feet touched the ground. And Jasper disappeared.

"Bella," I said, but it barely came out as a whisper. I swallowed and tried again as I looked for my sister. "Bella, are you okay? Are you hurt?" This time my voice came out strong and panicked as I finally found her on the ground with Edward above her. I fell on my hands and knees as he pulled away and kept my focus on Bella to make sure there was no blood which would signal a more serious injury.

Someone called an ambulance – which I was grateful for – and as the ambulance came in, I made sure Bella stayed lying down as I tried figuring out what was going on with Jasper and Edward. There was no way they could have made it to us in time. The last time I looked, they were at the other end of the parking lot. And, when it came to Jasper, I knew what I saw. With the practiced hands of the paramedics, Bella was soon on a gurney and in the ambulance. I wanted to stay behind to talk to Jasper, but I knew I needed to be with my sister. So I stepped into the vehicle with ease. It was then I found him. I looked into his strange but inviting eyes and hoped he could see the want and the need in mine.

The ambulance ride was short, and I kept my mind off the situation with mindless chatter. Charlie was already there, already worrying about us. I tried to make him calm down, but, after being told Bella needed an x-ray, I knew it was a lost cause.

"Tell me what happened," he said, still looking at the double doors Bella went through.

"Well, I think someone hit a patch of ice and lost control of the vehicle causing it to slide into the truck," I said, giving him the facts.

"I know what _happened_. Tell me _what_ happened," he said, his voice rough.

"Bella and I were looking at the chains. Then she told me they, Jasper and Edward, were coming toward us. I guess they noticed the van, so they came to get us out of the way. Jasper pushed me toward the front of the truck and Edward pushed her to the ground." I paused to look up at a growling Charlie and put my hand on his arm to calm him down. "He didn't mean it. He was just trying to get her out of the way. Maybe Bella didn't move right and tripped them both. You know how klutzy she is."

"Yeah." I wrapped my arm around his and leaned into him. He put his free hand on my back and patted it awkwardly. I smiled, knowing this was as good as it was going to get from Charlie. "I'm glad you're okay, Alice."

"Bella will be fine too."

"Yeah."

Ten minutes and a phone call to Renee later, Bella was wheeled back. Charlie was about to follow but was stopped by a pale blond man in a white coat with his name embroidered above a pocket on the left side of his chest. I stayed back to let them talk in peace. Doing so, I watched Edward slip in behind them. I took a step forward, fully intent in following him, but was stopped by the sound of my name spoken softly with a southern twang. I shrugged. Bella knew how to take care of herself.

"Thank you," I spoke as I turned around to greet the amber eyes I left standing in the school parking lot.

He smiled and turned his head, bashful. "You're welcome, ma'am."

"What'd I say about ma'am?" I asked, placing my hands on my hip in a show of fake anger.

"That it makes you sound like you're eighty years old."

"Yes, so stop."

"If you insist." He looked back at me, the smile still on his lips.

"I do." I smiled and dropped my hands as I walked closer. I saw him take a deep breath, but I didn't stop until I was inches away. No one else in the waiting room needed to hear what we were going to talk about. I lifted my right hand and daringly placed it on his bicep. He didn't flinch. "That was some save."

His arm tensed and I could see his smile begin to falter. "I was close."

I wanted to call his bluff, but, instead, I dragged my hand down his arm to latch my hand onto his. "So cold," I barely whispered as the shock of his skin rumbled through my body. Whatever smile I had plastered on my face faded away as I stared into his eyes. His gold tinted ones didn't leave mine as we both stopped in time. Both of us knew there was something going on, and neither of us knew how to talk about it.

Being timid this time, I bit my lip and lifted my other hand to touch his cheek. He allowed it. My touch was light, and my fingers only hesitated for a moment before falling down to his jaw line and tracing it to his chin. It wasn't just his hands. His colorless face was just as cold, maybe even colder. Like a replay of earlier, my mouth opened to say something, but nothing would slip out; my voice had been stolen. He just exhaled with a heartbreaking look on his features, "Alice."

I was barely aware that anything had changed, but Jasper did. Before I could blink, my hands were pulled away from him and the space had widened several feet. My eyebrows furrowed with a question I soon didn't need to have answered. Edward. His voice burst out into the room. I didn't have to see him to know he was making a b-line toward the two of us. And when I saw him, I hardened my features. Something was going to happen and it wasn't going to turn out well.

Once arriving to his destination next to Jasper, he leaned over and whispered something. They weren't that close and I wasn't that far away, but I still couldn't hear a sound. I watched as Jasper nodded followed by the doctor I saw earlier, Dr. Cullen, who wasn't even near his two adopted sons.

"Come to my office when you're finished," was all he said as he continued down the hallway. Jasper nodded again and waited until Edward leaned away and followed his father.

"I'm sorry. I was forbidden to talk to you," he said, his head moving to the side; this time he was lying, not being bashful, "because of something that happened in my past." I locked my jaw as my body started shaking with anger. "I have to go." He spun around followed the same trail as the two other Cullens.

"You're lying," I said to his back as I tried to keep anger as my prime emotion; I didn't want to cry in front of strangers.

**88888**

"Hey, is there something wrong?"

Bella and I were getting ready for bed when she finally said something. Ever since we left the hospital I could tell she wanted to say something, but I was glad she had a distraction like Renee. During that time, I tried keeping my mind off of it, but I knew I wasn't doing a good job. My heart was always on my sleeve, so even someone as clueless as Bella could see when it had been ripped apart.

"What's Edward's problem?" I asked, allowing myself to throw my pillow onto the bed.

"Huh?

"About a couple of minutes before you and Charlie came out to the waiting room, I was talking to Jasper and thanking him for rescuing me," I started, leaving out the details on purpose. "Then Edward comes out along with their guardian, whose name, I think, is Carlisle. Anyway, Edward says something to Jasper very quietly. Carlisle must have really good hearing because I saw him nod in agreement, but I couldn't hear a word they were saying and I was standing closer. Then Carlisle told Jasper to come to his office when he was finished talking to me, and he and Edward walked off. Jasper then apologized to me and said that his family had forbidden him from talking to me because of something that happened in the past."

"Did he tell you what exactly happened?"

I sat down on the bed and allowed my fingers to trace the blanket as they had done earlier with Jasper. "No, but I guess that's what Edward had been alluding to when he talked to you yesterday. But I can't imagine that Jasper's a bad person. He's always been really nice to me, and he saved my life today." I raised my voice. "How can he be a jerk?"

My sister walked around the bed to sit next to me. She gave me a hug, surprising me enough to let myself go for the first time today. Tears rolled down my cheeks and onto her shirt, "Why can't we just be friends? It's not like I'm asking to marry him or anything."

"They must have their reasons," she said, trying to comfort me the best way she knew how. "Maybe it's a good thing that you're staying away from Jasper if he's not willing to tell you his reasons."

"He can't tell me because they won't allow him to," I yelled angrily back at her and pushed her away. "Stupid Cullens." I started pulling back the blankets on the bed, letting Bella know I was ready for her to get back to her side of the room. The tears were still coming, and, at that moment, I knew how ridiculous I looked. This wasn't how someone who wanted to be just friends with him acted.

_You're lying_, I said to myself as I wrapped the covers around me and continued to cry, the moment we had at the hospital playing over and over again until everything faded to black.


	5. Revealing Secrets

**Disclaimer:** I do not own _Twilight_ or its characters.

I hope it's still working for people. Enjoy!

* * *

The next day, I looked as though I spent all night crying, which wasn't a good thing. I covered it up the best I could with makeup and put on a slightly better t-shirt and jeans combo than my sister. It looked like I wasn't trying, and I wasn't. School was hard. I tried putting on a happy face, but the smile never reached my eyes. Lunch was unbearable. Jasper was there even though I wished he opted to skip out. And I had to torture myself by looking over at his table because old habits die hard. His habit must have made him look up at that exact second too. In the next second, he stood up and walked toward me. My heart started beating faster as my brain started running through twenty-thousand scenarios. None of them were right. All he did was walk quickly past me and out of the door. I stayed still as a statue, still looking at the table with the one empty seat. They laughed at me, the two of them, Rosalie and Edward.

The month continued in much the same way except I was getting better at not looking at the table until I sat down and was hidden in the group of people I could care less about at the moment. Sometimes, we would catch each other's eyes, but that Tuesday after the accident was the only day he walked out of the cafeteria. I was lying to myself if I said the depression was lifting; it wasn't, and I could feel myself fall deeper each time I snuck that look. But I was trying to move on, trying to focus on something that didn't relate to Jasper and the Cullens, but it was hard as everyone around me started talking about the prom coming up in a month's time.

The prom I wished I could go with Jasper to.

I was arguing with myself one Monday, trying to yell at myself to stop and focus on Bella and her numerous proposals, when I heard my name being called behind me.

"Alice."

Knowing exactly whose southern twang it was, I stopped in my tracks but refused to turn around. "What do you want?"

"Come with me."

"No."

I felt one of his hands around my arm, lightly pulling me to my right. I tried brushing him off, but his hand stayed locked on me. "Let go of me. You're not supposed to be talking to me, _remember_."

"I don't care, Alice."

I half chuckled, "Yes you do." I gave up trying to get away and let him move me where he wanted me to go. I saw some people daring to look at us with confusion on their faces. "Where are we going?" He didn't answer, but my question was answered as we stopped behind the maintenance building. It was the place the druggies tried to hide their addiction from the faculty. Most of them were busted the previous week, so the space was free of people for the time being.

I leaned against the brick wall, only allowing one quick look to gauge the emotion behind his eyes before they darted away to the tree line. He wasn't angry; he wasn't even upset. He was calm, and I was surprised to feel the calm float around me too. "You should leave before Rosalie finds you."

"It's Edward I have to worry about," he said, causing me to look back puzzled.

"Why? I would think Emmett would be the one who'd pound you pretty hard because _she_ wanted him to."

"He is big. But I'm quick." He half smiled.

I smiled back even though I was trying not to. "Stop it. I'm supposed to be mad at you."

"We can talk again. I know it isn't much, but it's better than just looking across the lunch room," he announced, stepping closer.

"So now they'll let us talk, but what's to say they won't change their minds," I asked, starting to get angry again.

"They won't. We've come to a compromise."

The anger started fading again, and if I believed super powers existed, I would have credited Jasper for it. "Okay." It was then I noticed how close we were. One step away from the wall and we would be in the same position as a month ago in the hospital. I knew I shouldn't step over the line again, but I couldn't help it.

His hands flew up to my shoulders to stop me once he realized what I was doing. "Don't. Edward."

"Huh?" I asked, looking around for the person. He wasn't there which made me even more confused. "I don't understand."

"He'll hear me," he answered cryptically. I had many other questions for him, but Jasper let go and started walking away. "We better go to our classes."

The rest of the week was nice. In fact, it was better than nice. I could feel the depression lifting from my body. I smiled at lunch, and started talking with the group again. I wasn't totally free of the feeling, though. My mind wouldn't allow me to be happy about the meetings we were allowed after lunch. It was easy. Edward was following us. Jasper never said anything nor did I look, but I could feel we weren't alone. It was especially hard to deny after I heard a growl coming from behind us one day. It struck me as odd because it didn't sound like a human growl of disappointment; it sounded like a low, from the back of the throat growl an animal protecting its territory made.

Despite that, each day I would get a little closer to him. I asked him many questions about himself. I wanted every bit of information I could get my hands on. I knew there were times he tried to blow me off, I could see it in his eyes, but I would always try to push one step farther. Only, I didn't ask the tough questions like why his skin was so pale and cold, why I felt my mood change when I was with him, and why he spoke cryptically some of the time. Every day after Jasper left, there were more questions, and I wanted to run and tell someone. I wanted to run to Bella. I tried twice to ask her, but each time I let it go to comment on how the boys were flocking around her and how she should give them a chance.

So I did my own research on our prehistoric computer Charlie bought us before we arrived. I searched for medical conditions, but there weren't any where the body was cold and the skin was pale without sweating or some kind of sore on the skin. I knew I hadn't taken a look at the rest of him, but his face, neck and hands didn't have sores on them. Plus, he didn't sweat. Even looking back at the day he saved me, I never saw one bead of sweat anywhere near his skin. Then I moved on to the mysterious past he couldn't talk about. I googled his name and nothing popped up. I searched the newspapers in Houston and came up empty. I was becoming frustrated at how _little_ there was. There was so little, by the end of the week, I started looking up folk tales and legends.

It was Thursday before the big trip to the beach in La Push with the people at our lunch table that I found the website on vampires. That Friday, Bella was downstairs, a request by me so I could do research on a school project. It was a lie, yes, but not a complete one. I _was_ doing research on a project; it just wasn't a _school_ project.

Before I even started, I realized I was being stupid. There was no way the site could tell me what was going on with Jasper without being fantastical. Vampires, along with unicorns and the Yeti, didn't exist. But I looked. And continued to look as each new fact – the cold skin, the speed, the lack of color – made make believe real to me. There were some inconsistencies in the research compared to Jasper. The eyes, for one, were not red. They never had been. They were an amber color or dark, a black void.

I didn't know what to believe the next morning as Bella and I met Mike and everyone else at Newton Outfitters. Bella could tell something was going on and told me this trip would be fun; it would get my mind off Jasper. I nodded, but I knew I was going to spend the whole time thinking about everything I read and how it pertained to Jasper. But Bella, in her infinite wisdom, was right. I spent the morning not thinking about Jasper but rolling my eyes at my sister and her fear of the boys from our table.

By lunch, most of my La Push beach experience had been spent near the vehicles where their shade tried to compete with the sun. It was a shame the water was too cold. I wouldn't have minded walking in the surf even with Bella clinging on me the entire time. My break from everything came when I saw a few brown skin boys walking toward us. As they came closer, I noticed Jacob was among them. Something inside made me jump, made me put the math together to realize he was exactly who I needed to talk to in order to make everything fall into place. I didn't why or how he knew the answers. I just _did_.

"It's good to see the two of you again," he greeted and sat down in front of us. "I'm sure you two are happy to see the sun out again."

"Absolutely," Bella said while I just nodded with a giggle. "What are you doing here?"

"You're on my rez."

"I didn't know we were that close to the reservation. I bet Charlie's somewhere around here," I commented, knowing my dad was fishing with Billy today just as he did every Saturday.

"Yeah. He and my dad are fishing at the stream."

Lauren, the thorn in my side, stuck her nose into the conversation to push the thorn even deeper. "Well, now that he's here, I'm sure you're not all too disappointed that Jasper Cullen couldn't make it."

I wished at that moment I could have growled like Edward. I could imagine the sound in my throat, but nothing came out. Leaning closer to her, I debated whether or not to go for the attack. It was too tempting to let go, and I was about to when I heard someone clear their throat. "The Cullens are not allowed at the reservation."

I dropped my anger and looked at the boy who spoke. I continued to stare as people got up to go take a walk along the beach. I didn't feel like going with them. Staying with the Quileute boys was better for me. Actually, staying with Jacob was. When most of the group left, I stood up and smiled at Jacob, "Jake, why don't we take a walk also, but we'll go in the opposite direction."

"What about Bella," he asked, looking down at her.

"I don't think that would be such a good idea with my balance problems," she answered. "You two go and have fun." He shrugged his shoulders and let it go, letting me drag him away from any crowds.

We walked in silence most of our way to a destination we didn't have. With each step, I was trying to grab at the right words since the last thing I wanted was to look crazy in front of someone who knew Charlie. However, there was no way in coming out with a sane question that was directly to the point. "The Cullens don't come around here?"

He turned his head and looked at me, almost surprised I decided to speak. "Uh, no, they don't."

"Bad blood?"

He laughed, "You have no idea."

"Then tell me." I shrugged, making him think I was just trying to start a conversation. I felt as though he was going to push it away, move onto something else, but he indulged my request.

"See, we have this…this legend. It talks about the cold ones and how they hunted our people," he started, and I could tell right away he was giving me the _Cliff's Notes_ version. "My ancestors were able to stop them by changing into wolves." He looked away, chuckling. "Later, more came, but they didn't hunt us; they hunted the animals. So we made a treaty with them. They stay off our land and don't hurt the humans, and we stay out of Forks and don't kill them."

"Cold ones?" I asked, remembering the website. "And what does that have to do with the Cullens?"

"Heh," I must have given him a questioning look because he continued, "I can't just tell you."

"Why?"

"Think about it, Alice. You're smart."

I half smiled and took his advice. I put his story together with the information I gathered last night. Again, everything pointed to Jasper and the Cullens being vampires. "So what you're saying is: it's all true."

He stopped walking, causing me to do the same. "I don't know what you're saying, but, yeah, I guess it is."

"It's not possible," I spoke, turning my eyes away. "Their eyes aren't red."

"Their eyes are red when they go after humans."

"Yeah? And you would know that because…?"

"You think our tribe is going to live with those bl- _Cullens_ without knowing something about them?" I shrugged and looked back at him as he continued. "You should just stay away from them and be done with it."

"I can't, Jacob. My place is with him. I _feel_ it."

He narrowed his eyes and stepped forward. I noticed his hands were locked into fists. "You know how stupid that sounds?"

"No. Please tell me, _wolf boy_," I barked back, taking a cue from his angry tone. I felt like punching him in the face. I know it wasn't exactly him I was mad at but everyone, everything. "Tell me how stupid that sounds. Tell me why I should listen to you. But you're not going to tell me why. Because none of you, not Edward, not Rosalie, not even Bella can give me a good reason _why_. Neither can Jasper. I'm getting sick of hearing people telling me what I should do." On instinct, I lifted both my hands and pushed into Jacob just above his stomach. I barely moved him a quarter of an inch. Instead, I fell into him, leaned my head against warm t-shirt covered chest. "So just shut up and let us…let us be."

"You're a little spitfire," he said, his voice surprised.

"And I've mellowed some since I was a kid." I took a deep breath and returned to the reason for being here. "So it's true. Jasper is a vampire."

"Yep."

"I guess that _does_ make you wolf boy."

"Something like that."

"I can't believe it."

"But you do. Otherwise you'd still be trying to push me down."

"Yeah…" I stepped away from him. I knew the answer, but the answer only raised more questions. What was his relationship with the rest of his family? Why didn't he go after human blood? Where did he come from? How many years had he been a vampire? Most importantly, what was going to happen to us now that I knew what he was? We weren't going be "just friends" that was for sure. But could we really be more?

"We should be getting back."

I nodded at Jacob and we spent the rest of our walk in silence once again. I knew I didn't need to warn him about telling Bella; he had his own secrets to keep. Besides, it was my problem. Bella was going to have to know this eventually, especially if I wanted my next meeting with Jasper to go the way I wanted it to.

I met Bella with a wide smile on my face to hide the questions. Bella tried to get us to tell her what happened, but neither of us cracked, which I was thankful for as it was getting harder for me to keep from gossiping with her. By the time we said goodbye to our Native American friends, I decided Monday I was going to make Jasper one hundred percent mine.

**88888**

"Wake up, wake up," I chanted, trying to wake Bella before the clock did the following Monday. "I need to get to school early today."

"What for?"

"I've got some important business to take care of." I pulled the covers off my sister and practically pushed her out of bed. "Now get your lazy rear end out of bed and into the shower. I'll lay out your clothes for you." When she didn't move, I pushed her right onto the floor. She wanted to do something, I could tell, but I crossed my arms in front of my chest and raised my eyebrows to tell her she wasn't going to win this time.

While I waited for Bella to finish her morning routine, I ran through the plan I came up with Sunday when I was supposed to be working on homework. I tried to think of something that wasn't so underhanded, but everything led back to blackmail. They didn't want their secret broadcast among the student body or the town as a whole, so they would listen to me. This meant I had to believe what I saw online and what Jacob told me. I wasn't completely ready to walk into the world of folklore, but I wasn't ready for the rest of the Cullens to continue to use Jasper as their personal puppet. I had enough. And that meant blackmail.

Thankfully, Bella moved quickly after her shower and we arrived to school first. Bella was the epitome of calm. She sat at a picnic table and worked on her trigonometry homework. I, on the other hand, was full of nerves and paced the length of the table for a good twenty minutes before the next group of people started showing up to take my mind off of the task.

"Alice, why did you make me come so early if all you wanted to do was talk?" Bella asked.

"I have things to do, and I wanted to get them done as soon as they get here," I answered shortly.

"Who gets here?"

I didn't answer her. All she had to do was look at my face. My eyes lit up at seeing the silver Volvo Edward and his crew usually showed up in, and my nervous smile turned into an excited one. I half walked, half ran toward the car, my heart beating louder with each step and the words 'I know' repeating in my mind. It didn't take long for me to dodge cars to get close enough. They must have decided I was worth talking to this time because they stayed by the car. "Hi." Jasper was the only one who answered my greeting with a nod. Edward whispered something to the three of them I couldn't hear. Everyone stood up straight as if they were ready to deflect anything I had off of them.

I turned my eyes completely on Edward and crossed my arms over my chest. "So, I did a little research. Your cold, pale skin. The way you and Jasper saved my sister and me from across the parking lot. And don't think I haven't noticed Jasper's sweet scent every time I'm around him. A guy shouldn't look or smell like that. I know what you are. You're a v- a vampire." I glossed over my stumble as I worked my nerves. Emmett, who was standing behind Edward, was trying not to laugh. Rosalie was standing beside him and didn't look to happy with me or with her boyfriend. "Now, if you don't mind, and I know you won't because I know you don't want this crazy, yet _true_, secret to be blabbed, I'm going to take Jasper and there's nothing you can do about it."

"What makes you think we're going to let you walk away with our secret like that?" Edward said before I could move to take Jasper away.

"Didn't you hear me? I'll tell. First I'll start with Bella-" He growled with anger. I smiled with triumph.

"How do you know we won't go after you?"

"First of all, you aren't like that. None of you are. As they say, you're bark but no bite. He was told to stay away to protect the secret. I know the secret. He doesn't have to stay away. Besides, if you do hurt me, don't expect Jasper to sit still."

"If you knew what was good for you, you'd stay away from him," Rosalie spoke up.

"You don't get it, do you?" I asked heatedly, pushing closer to the pack. "You have Emmett. Edward has his secrets. And now…now Jasper has me. There's nothing you can do that'll keep us apart. Live with it."

I finally allowed my eyes to venture to Jasper. The smile on his face was contagious, and he held out his arm for me. I happily wrapped my arm around his, and, as we walked away from the rest of the vampires, I thought about how interesting this relationship was going to be and how soon I would get to know all his secrets.


	6. The First Day

**Disclaimer:** I do not own _Twilight_ or its characters.

* * *

It was still too early for classes to begin, so Jasper and I walked around campus trying to find an empty spot to be alone and discuss my jump into his world. It didn't take a long for us to end up at the maintenance building again, and it was still empty, making it the perfect place to talk.

"So…" I said, feeling shy all of a sudden.

"That was something," he smiled, letting me go. He took a couple of slow strides away from me while I looked down at his feet.

"Thanks?"

"But he knew what was up before you greeted us."

I looked up to see Jasper's back. "You keep saying that, but I don't understand."

"I want you to know what you are getting yourself into, Alice." He turned around and looked me in the eyes. "You know about our skin, how cold we are, how fast we are, but you don't know how _hard_ it is for some of us to control ourselves."

"But you're doing a decent enough job. I haven't seen anyone missing," I smiled, trying to make a joke I knew wasn't funny. I didn't have a chance to breathe in when I felt my body being swiftly but carefully lifted and pushed against the same brick wall I was up against the week before. His face buried itself onto my neck and I could feel teeth lightly scrap against my skin. My heart realized what was happening before my lungs even thought about pushing the air out; it was beating so loud I was sure that was the reason why I couldn't hear a single bird in the trees. When the air finally blew past my lips, it came out rough and jagged and stirred the hair lying on Jasper's head.

"You're scared," he whispered along the skin.

"Really?" I asked, moving my legs around his waist instead of leaving them to dangle. "Try again." The way Jasper held me didn't raise any flags for me. One hand was between me and the wall while his other arm held my waist so I wouldn't fall to the ground. And if he wanted to hurt me, he wouldn't have stopped just before the kill. My hands moved from my side to position his head in front of me so I could look into his eyes.

Jasper looked into my eyes before he closed them and smiled. "I see."

"What do you see?"

"It is not so much seeing as it is _feeling_."

"What?"

His eyes opened. "I thought you would have realized something was going on before now. Other than being vampires, we have gifts. Each one of us is different. Edward knows what everyone thinks because he can hear everyone's thoughts. Emmett, he is abnormally strong. Rosalie has beauty. And, me, I can feel and change emotions."

"So," I whispered, leaning my head closer to his, "what do you feel now."

"I feel like I was meant to find you."

I giggled. "You know how cheesy that sounds?" I asked, my mouth hesitating just above his. I didn't wait to hear his response and let my lips delicately touch his. He kissed back and the feeling of love and joy poured over me. I didn't know if this was all me or him or the combination of the two, but I liked it. I hungrily went after him and wrapped my arms around his neck as my body pushed as close to him as I could.

It was Jasper who stopped the kiss. He easily stepped away from the wall, letting go of me in the process. I let my legs drop with my arms and watched him as he retreated hastily away. His face was pained again, not happy. I shook my head and walked forward, following him as he kept backing up.

"Stop, Jasper, please." He must have caught my concern because he stopped and allowed me to catch his hands.

"I can easily become carried away."

"That won't happen. Not with me. You can feel it, right? We'll just take it day by day. It'll be fine." I smiled, but continued in a scolding tone, "But don't you ever tell me to stay away again because I'm sick of it. You and I both know the best thing for us is to stay together." I dropped the smile and the scolding. "And we both know how this is going to end."

I closed my eyes and sighed. The first thing I thought about when I woke up this morning was being with Jasper. This was the first time I actually let myself think about what that meant. Being with Jasper meant not being with anyone else in the same way again. I was going to have to lie, keep everyone at arm's length, and, one of these days, I was going to have to make the decision to leave.

"I won't hesitate," I said more to myself than to him.

"I know." I felt him squeeze my hands and kiss the top of my head.

**88888**

A couple of people tried to stop me between classes or even during classes to ask about Jasper and me. Most of them were just confused by how I was able to weasel my way into the Cullen circle. The others wanted details, which I refused to give. I just gave them a smile and a shrug and let them know I was Jasper's and he was mine.

What led to further confusion was that my lunchroom routine had changed. Jasper found me just before lunch and we walked into the cafeteria together and toward his table, holding hands the whole way. I could feel how calm he felt. It wasn't a complete calm the way the two of us were that morning, but it was better than I saw him in weeks. I asked him about it when we sat down and he answered, "It's because you're with me."

His answer caused four different reactions in the people at the table. Me, I felt loved and smiled. After looking away from Jasper, I saw Emmett shake his head with his own smile as if he remembered his first moments with Rosalie. Rosalie looked bored. And then there was Edward; all he had was a scowl on his lips and a glare plastered across his eyebrows. I knew I'd have to talk to him about this one day. I just hoped he would calm down by then.

"Alice, can I talk to you a moment?" I heard Bella ask behind me.

I turned my head and then my body before I stood up. "I haven't gotten anything to eat yet, so join me in line." I was glad I was in the lead as we made it to the line since my smile faltered enough that I was sure Bella would have picked up on it.

"What in the world is going on?"

Her words were harsh, but I placed innocent smile on my face instead of letting it continue to get to me. "What are you talking about?"

"You know exactly what I'm talking about," she pushed back, gesturing to the table we just came from. "I want to know what you said to the Cullens to suddenly get them to agree to this."

"Oh, nothing really." She stared me down, which let me know she wasn't going to take me blowing her off any longer. I turned my eyes away from her and pushed a deep breath out through my nose. "I can't tell you in line because I don't want everyone else to hear." I left her standing there after I found the salad I wanted and put it on my tray.

Walking back, I ran through the possible lies my sister was sure to believe. I knew Edward could hear me and I looked right at him to see which one he would accept. I still hadn't finished running through it all when I arrived at the table. "Well, guys, I just can't leave Bella out of the loop. She is my twin sister after all."

"No!" Rosalie objected when the idea finally came to me. I saw Edward's lips twitch and I knew that was the one we were going to settle on.

"No, I think that Bella has a right to know," he said, stopping Rosalie from protesting further. Then he turned the conversation back to me and I could feel the contempt roll off him. "Go ahead and tell her."

I motioned for Bella to sit down between me and Edward. I waited for her to get comfortable while I tried to put the finishing touches on the ridiculous story. "Well, it seems that shortly after Jasper was placed in the care of Dr. and Mrs. Cullen, he witnessed a murder. I guess it must have been a high profile case because he and the whole rest of their family are on the witness protection program."

Emmett was waiting for me to stop talking to laugh at the story. I didn't see what was so funny about it. It seemed plausible enough. I knew Bella wouldn't start asking questions if the witness protection program was involved. Or maybe not? Thanks to Emmett's laughter, I wasn't sure of the story anymore, which was starting to get me mad. I put my hands on my hips and leaned into the table. "I didn't do that bad of a job telling her."

"Great, now she knows and is going to tell everyone," Rosalie said, being a little too dramatic.

It was starting to go downhill and I looked at Edward for some support. I saw one corner of his mouth turn up, and I immediately I thought about how much I hated him at that moment and how I was going to get back at him. It only made him lean back in his chair as if taunting me to do it. I called him a not so nice name and wanted to continue on, but Bella called attention to herself by standing up abruptly, making the chair screech on the floor.

"I don't appreciate people lying to me. If you don't want to tell me, then you don't have to. I guess I just wanted to know why the same people who for the last month were keeping these two apart are suddenly letting her roll all over them," she yelled, and I could tell she wanted to cry.

"Bella…" I sighed, but she didn't hear me as she was already halfway across the room. Jasper found my hand and held it tight as I watched my other half walk out of the cafeteria.

When I knew she wasn't going to come back, I turned my attention back to the rest of them. "I know you guys hate me for who I am to Jasper and what I did to push my way inside your group, but that is no reason for you all to screw around with my sister." And then I turned solely on Edward. "I know my lie wasn't the best, but you could have helped."

With force, I stood up, making the chair crash behind me. I pulled my hand from Jasper's and slammed them on the table in front of Edward. Leaning in so the people staring couldn't hear, I spoke to him intensely, "Good job. It's the first time you've made her cry." I leaned even closer so my lips were practically touching his ear for my final blow. "Keep going and you'll lose her forever."

I leaned back and could see him sneer. _Yeah, I see things sometimes_, I smirked to myself as I grabbed my bag and walked off to find Bella.

She was in the truck. I made sure she didn't see me by staying far enough away, but I kept watch on her. It didn't take a rocket scientist to see she was crying. "It was going to happen someday. I just didn't expect it to start this soon," I said without looking at the person who stepped up on my right side. The person took my hand and the sadness started fading. "Please stop. It was as much my fault as it was theirs, maybe more."

By the end of the school day, I was starting to feel better. Jasper met me outside of my last class and we walked to the parking lot together, hand in hand. It was still the first day, but it felt very good to hold his hand. I knew he could feel me shudder every once and a while, but I wouldn't let him let go of me. It was silly, but I felt if I let go, the rest of them would swoop in and take Jasper away from me. However, I was going to hope that wasn't the case since there was no way I was going to take him home to see Charlie just yet.

"Hey, Alice," someone called behind the two of us.

"Yeah?" I asked, looking behind me to see who it was. "Tyler."

"So now that you're with Jasper, which is great by the way, are you two going to prom?" he asked, almost sounding hopeful.

I shrugged and looked at Jasper. He nodded. "Yeah."

"So Bella won't be going to Seattle anymore, right?"

"Huh? No. She can go to prom too." Tyler nodded once and then walked away thanking me for the information. It took me a second to realize I messed up. "Not with you," I quickly added, but it was too late. "Shoot."

"I'm sure she can handle it," Jasper said.

"I think you're right." I watched Tyler go straight to Bella and presumably start asking her to prom. "So, we will go to prom? Will you be okay?"

"Yes," he answered, smiling, "and I'll be fine if I stay with you."

"C'mon, Tyler's just about finished being dumped again," I grinned, and we started walking over to Bella and the truck just as Tyler backed away.

"Get in the truck now," she snapped at me. I felt Jasper tense up, but I only shook my head before kissing him lightly on the cheek and getting into the truck. I was going to calm her down once she got in, but she beat me to the punch by saying, "Alice, this is wrong."

"Bella, sometimes you don't know what's the best for everyone," I said, my happy buzz quickly wearing off. I kept my eyes on the windshield to make sure I didn't lose it completely.

"If they catch up with him, they're going to hurt you first."

Even though this conversation was about my lie, I knew the Cullens were a minority, and I was bound to run into the majority sooner or later. There was no hesitation in my voice when I spoke the truth. "I'm prepared for that if necessary."

"Are you even listening to yourself?" she yelled at me.

That was it. I whirled my body to the left in order to face my sister and shouted back, "Of course I am. Why can't you accept the fact that I'm happy with Jasper? And why won't you allow him to be happy also? People in his situation have the right to fall in love."

"And when they find him they will torture him by hurting you. You have absolutely no idea what kind of pain you'll put him through, much less the rest of us. And you should be looking out for yourself. Geez, sometimes you act too much like Renee."

"And you're just like Charlie: a stick in the mud who doesn't live and expects everyone else to live their boring overly safe lives," I pointed while almost screaming my side. "Renee's happily married, and Charlie's so bitterly alone that he hasn't even bothered to repaint the kitchen because that's how Renee painted it. And you're going to end up just as alone and can't stand the thought that I might be happy with someone."

I didn't know what to do. It was only a second, but I hesitated to see if there were any hints of apology in her eyes. Neither of us budged. We were both mad enough to not care how hurt we left the other person in that moment. I grabbed my stuff and slid out of the cab to run to the Volvo as I screamed as loud as I could in my mind for Edward to stop. I was hoping that even if he didn't want to listen, that Jasper would stop him too, and I knew he would listen to Jasper.

Edward did stop the car and I jumped in the back seat, taking Jasper's place as he slid into the middle. I couldn't do anything but lean on his shoulder and let the sadness fall. When Jasper's arm shifted around me, I looked up at the rear view mirror. They weren't visible in the reflective class, but I still told him without speaking to stay out of my head for once. And then I closed my eyes, hoping that would stop the tears from spilling out.

I didn't know if it was just me or if Jasper was also thinking how he wanted to stay with me for a little longer, but Edward didn't drive me home. When the car stopped and my eyes opened, I was in a garage. As soon as I sat up to enough to see out my window, I saw just how huge the garage was. I stepped out of the car, amazed at how many cars could actually fit inside. Every Cullen was able to have their own parking spot, and there was still room left over for counters and different tools for gardening to hang on the walls. But that wasn't what took my breath away. It was the cars. I could only imagine how great my dream car, a yellow 911 Porsche would fit in.

"Wow," I said, unable to hide my awe at seeing the Aston Martin V12 Vanquish. I walked up to the car with one of my hands extended ahead of me, ready to touch the smooth, dark paint.

"Don't touch it," a stern voice called behind me.

"Bite me," I called back.

"_That_ could be arranged."

I lightly dragged my fingers across the car's hood. "But I thought you wanted Bella to be your first."

I hit a nerve. Even with two cars separating us and the lights above causing shadows to play across his face, I could tell he wasn't happy. The trademark growl was just the icing on the cake. I smirked. Apparently, it was the wrong thing to do.

Everything happened too quick for me to really understand what happened. One second, I was taking a step away from the Vanquish to head back to Jasper. The next second, my back was against a large Jeep with Jasper protectively in front of me. I groaned as I felt a pain in the small of my back where the step to get into the vehicle hit me. Rubbing my back, I looked past the vampire in front of me to the one in front of him. Edward had moved from his position on the driver's side of the Volvo to the front of the Aston Martin. He was angry, but he didn't look as though he was actually going to hurt me.

"Jasper, it's fine. He won't hurt me. He wouldn't do that to you _or_ Bella." I knew he knew this, but he didn't stand down until Edward turned around and huffed out of the garage. Rosalie and Emmett, who had watched the whole scene from the back bumper of the silver car, relaxed as well and followed their brother. It wasn't until the door closed after the couple that Jasper finally let himself stand down.

"Are you okay?" he asked as he turned around.

"Yeah," I nodded. I rolled onto my toes to peck him on the cheek. "Thanks."

He took one of my hands with his. "Would you like to officially meet my…_parents_?"

"Sure." I led the way to the door everyone else left through. "When are you going to tell me about your _real_ past?"

"Soon," he said, squeezing my hand. "Soon."


	7. Jasper

**Disclaimer:** I do not own _Twilight_ or its characters.

Thank you for continuing to read it!

* * *

"You're nervous."

"Of course I am. Will they like me?"

"They will."

"Dr. Cullen didn't seem to like me much before."

"Call him Carlisle, and, yes, he did like you. He's just protective. Like Charlie."

"Okay." We walked into the house, and I could immediately hear the sound of music playing in the direction of the stairs. I didn't know where it was coming from, but I could guess; the other two "teenagers" didn't strike me as fans of classical music. "Does he do that a lot?"

"Enough," Jasper chuckled.

"What happened?" a female voice called softly as we made it into the living room.

"Alice pushed Edward too far."

"I'd say I was sorry, but I'm really not," I added. Looking around the room, I noticed everything was white, clean, beautifully decorated, and the wall of windows at the back of the room made the house feel like a part of nature. I felt free. It was completely different than Charlie's where I felt enclosed, trapped by the painted walls of the past.

"You're Alice," a woman said making me turn my attention to the person instead of the objects.

"My reputation precedes me," I smiled.

The woman with caramel brown hair and a natural beauty walked up to me, and I held out my hand to shake hers. She smiled at me before brushing past my hand and giving me a hug. A little startled, I wrapped my free hand around her to hug her back. "I'm Esme," she said after pulling away. "It's nice to finally meet you."

"Nice to meet you, too." Jasper chuckled again and squeezed my hand. I pressed my lips together trying to look angry as my eyes shot up at his direction. "Just remember this when you meet Charlie." He stopped and straightened up. This time, it was Esme's turn to laugh.

"Hello, Alice." Behind Esme stood the blond doctor, who looked too young to have teenage children, adopted or not, and what little nervousness left me in that short time came back tenfold.

"Hello, D- Carlisle. How are you?" I asked.

"I am good, thank you. And you?"

"Nervous, despite Jasper's best efforts."

"Then he must be slipping," he smiled, exchanging a glance at Jasper.

"I-I want to say something," I said, gathering courage I hoped was my own. Carlisle and Esme nodded for me to go on. "I'm going to be with Jasper. For a long time. I don't _need_ your blessings, but it would be nice to know someone thinks this is an okay idea and that we aren't ruining our lives." I glanced up at Jasper and delicately smiled. "I knew I was going to meet someone special. I just didn't realize how special. You can tell how different he is now than he was before I came," I continued, looking back at his parents. "How can my presence be all that bad?"

"I understand, but be careful," said Esme while Carlisle's arm snaked under her hair to sit lightly on her shoulders. Seeing their display of affection made me wonder how long the two of them had been together and if they knew they would love each other just as much or even more than that first meeting. It also made me wonder the same thing about Jasper and me.

"And think about your decisions before acting on them," agreed Carlisle.

I danced closer to the doctor to kiss him on the cheek all the while keeping my hand in Jasper's. Carlisle had to lean forward, allowing me to complete the task. "Thank you." I turned around, not feeling nervous to be around them anymore. "Show me your room, Jasper?"

We left the married couple and made our way up the stairs and a couple of small steps to the first door on the left. It was a good sized room, with a big, comfortable looking light green chair with a matching ottoman in the left corner in the opposite side of the room. Behind the chair, the tall windows showed the grounds in front of the house along with the woods behind it. The left wall was one large bookshelf full of books, most about history. Out of those, most of them were about the Civil War, but there was still a large quantity about other wars and battles the United States had been in. The right side of the wall held a small stereo along with CDs and various pictures and a flat screen TV next to a small writing desk with a black laptop and a notebook sitting on top.

"Like history?" I asked, stepping up to the massive bookshelf without Jasper to read some of the titles.

"I am history."

I tilted my head to the side. "Tell me about it?" I walked to the middle of the room and sat down. I motioned for Jasper to join, but he stayed near the door. "Please? You already know my story, so it's only fair I get to know yours."

At that, he sighed and closed the door. He didn't come near me; he sat in front of the dark wooden door. "I was born in 1843. My early life isn't exciting, but I grew up to respect my elders and love my country. However, loving _my_ country meant loving the south. I was a part of the Confederate Army during the Civil War and believed wholeheartedly I was on the right side. I was good at my job, but it didn't hurt that our side was quickly losing people. I rose to the rank of Major. Major Jasper Whitlock.

"It was 1863 when I was turned. Her name was Maria and she was creating an army of her own. I won't bore you with the politics, but I will tell you she and I killed the other two vampires who also held the power of that coven. I helped her become the undisputed leader and I became her commander. My job was to train newborn vampires to be fighters for her army."

Jasper looked at me for the first time since starting his story, and I crawled closer. "I started to hate it, especially killing the newborns that couldn't cut it. After…I became depressed. I followed the lead of a couple of vampires I befriended and left.

"I lived off human blood since I was born, and continued to do so until I ran into that same couple, Peter and Charlotte, who told me about a vegetarian coven, a coven who lived off the blood of animals instead of people. I knew I needed a change, but it took a few years before I convinced myself to find them. It was the fifties when I finally arrived at the Cullen's and they welcomed me before I could finish telling them who I was."

I knew he was leaving out the horrible parts for me, and I was glad. I wanted to know all about him, but I didn't know if I could handle everything at once. Even with portions missing, his past was a tough one to listen to. I felt sad, sorry, and horrified that he had to go through that. It also broke my heart to know he went through it mostly alone. I knew this story meant I should be scared of him, but I couldn't be. Not when he stared at me like his whole spirit was being ripped apart.

"I'm sorry," I simply said as I rested my hands on the knees he kept in front of him.

He took one hand out and played with a little piece of my short black hair. "Don't be. I feel hopeful for the first time since I left Maria, and it's all your doing."

"Then, I'm sorry I took so long." I pushed myself forward using his knees and kissed him without any hesitation.

"You're crying."

"It's your fault."

He kissed my cheek where the rogue tear fell. He then moved back to my lips. I could feel a rush of different emotions as he slowly and softly pushed me back onto the floor. He held himself above me as if he was afraid he would crush me if he got too close, his lips turning away from mine to trace my jaw line. Then he abruptly stopped. I placed my hands on the sides of his face and kissed his forehead. "You are sweet, but you don't have to try so hard. Just being near is fine." I grinned and my right hand tapped the floor next to me, and he moved there.

"I want to show you something."

"What?"

"You'll see."

When I arrived home, the night had already settled in. I had enough time to grab a snack and work on a little homework before going to bed. I tried to prolong seeing my sister as long as possible, but once my eyes started closing on their own, I knew I had to face the music. Luckily, I didn't need to talk since she didn't talk to me. The words wouldn't have come anyway. If they did, they most likely would have come out loud and crude.

The next day wasn't any better. I had one way of getting to school and that was Bella. Thankfully, she didn't leave me behind, but the ride was full of quiet tension, and I wished I would have just asked Jasper to pick me up. I sat with Jasper at the Cullen table at lunch and tried not to look back at my sister. Edward snuck a few peeks at Bella, but I couldn't be sure if it was because of my thoughts or his. I hoped it was his.

Most of the week went like this. Until Friday. As soon as I woke up, I knew the sun was going to be the most prominent feature of the day. This meant the Cullens were not going to be at school. It was obvious they weren't going to melt if the sunlight touched them, but I couldn't imagine what took its place. Most of the day, I kept to myself. Just before lunch, I received a text message from Jasper that told me to meet him at the forest edge. I sent one back asking where. He let me know it didn't matter; he'd find me easily enough.

I waited for Bella by the cafeteria to tell her in passing I wouldn't be going home with her. It was the first words I said to her all week which surprised her. She didn't ask why, only nodded, and didn't stay to keep the conversation going.

It was surprisingly easy to sneak my way out to the forest, but I didn't question it. If I kept my mind on it for too long, I would jinx myself. I backed into the forest a few yards to make sure no one could see me or Jasper even though I knew once I passed the first line of trees I was gone from sight. Finding a log, I sat down and waited for Jasper to present himself. When he didn't immediately show up, I closed my eyes and let the light breeze play with the spiky ends of my hair. I took a deep breath through my nose and smelled the slightly damp forest floor where the sun tried hard to shine but failed because of the thick, green canopy above.

"You shouldn't let your guard down."

I popped my eyes open and screamed. It came out as a short screech more than anything else, and I was grateful for that since I wasn't _that_ far from school property. Seeing a face in front of me that looked as though it just ate something completely revolting also helped the half scream, half screech stop.d. Standing up and catching my heart to put it back in my chest with my left hand, I lifted my right and swung to the face in front of me. It all happened too fast for my brain to make me realize what I was doing. The hand made contact with a hard, cold surface that wouldn't budge. My anger was quickly replaced by a sharp pain. I screamed an obscenity or two and pulled my hand back to cradle it for a moment before trying to flex the sting away.

"Don't sneak up on me like that, Jasper," I scolded. "And don't ever let me hit you again."

He solemnly nodded once, but could see a little bit of playfulness in his eyes. "Are you ready?"

"Yes," I answered, trying to forget about my hand. "Where are we going?"

He turned around. "Get on."

"On what?"

"Me."

I felt the heat rise to my cheeks. "Huh?" He looked over his shoulder at me and laughed. "Shut up. You have no right to laugh at me."

"I could always leave…" He let his teasing voice fade off as I growled at his bad joke.

"Fine," I pouted with a half smile. I stepped gracefully on the log behind me with my right foot as I grabbed his shoulder with the left arm. I easily brought the rest of my body into position on Jasper's back with my arms around his neck. "Where are we going?"

He placed his hands under my thighs. "Home."

I didn't get to say anything else as Jasper's take off stole my breath away. The breeze was nothing compared to the wind from speeding through trees. I closed my eyes and a smile grew on my lips. "Amazing," I exhaled. The whole experience – the wind, the fast moving scenery, the flashes of different smells, and the hitches in my stomach every time he turned – felt wonderful and exhilarating. I imagined this was what it felt like to sit on top of a train. My hands itched to move away from his chest and let go, but my protector thought better of it and placed one hand over them.

"Close your eyes," he said when I felt the world start to slow down.

"Okay." I could feel the sun start to warm my face again.

When he stopped, he helped my feet touch the ground. His hands stayed on my arms until he knew I was steady enough. "There is something I want to show you. It's important and-"

"Jasper, what is it?" I asked, talking to the fading voice.

"The sun, it calls attention to us."

"Yeah?"

"Open your eyes."

I obeyed him. He stood close but not close enough to touch. And I wanted to. The buttoned down long sleeved cranberry dress shirt was off and I completely understood why he was never going to take a dip in the community pool during summer break: his skin sparkled like millions of tiny diamonds. I couldn't look away. I wanted to let him know how beautiful he looked, but I didn't know if he resented his special skin. In fact, I couldn't tell in the short time of being close to him if he resented any of his vampire characteristics. My hand moved away from my body as I took a step to close the gap. With this movement, the sunlight hit his body just right, brightening it to allow me to see something else on the upper part of his chest near his shoulder. I wasn't sure what I saw, but my hand traced the area. His hand swung up to stop me and my head jerked up. He must have thought he scared me, because his head turned away, ashamed at his reaction.

"I'm sorry. I just thought…" I didn't finish because I didn't know how to.

"It's a scar made by a newborn I trained. I have many, but human eyes can't pick them up. I'm quite surprised you saw this one."

"I've been told I have good eyes," I smiled, trying not to think about another vampire hurting him enough to leave scars.

He smiled back until something flashed across his features. Was it the resentment I didn't know I had been looking for? I couldn't tell, and, honestly, I didn't want to focus on it. Jasper let go of my hand to pull his shirt back on.

"Will I do that to you?"

It took him a moment to answer the loaded question. "No. We should go inside."

"Why do we have to go inside?" He didn't answer, and all I did was follow obediently behind him into the house. Once inside, we stopped in the open room just past the stairs. I couldn't stay silent anymore. "Why?"

He turned around and leaned in close. "Because no one _wants_ to become one of us."

"Don't you _want_ to be with me?"

"I do."

I momentarily looked away and saw Rosalie on the white couch, her back toward me. Emmett was next to her on a large chair covered in the same white fabric reading a magazine. Without shades on the wall of windows, their skin shined as brilliantly as Jaspers did. I immediately felt sorry for ruining their silence in the sun. "Then why won't you do it?"

"Because you aren't thinking about what it'll mean."

"Yes I am. It means you don't have to worry about me. You don't have to stand at arms length on days I'm too much for you. And I don't have to worry about hurting my hand when I slap you." My defiant shoulders folded in and my head dropped. "Not that I'll slap you again in the future. I am sorry about that, but you did scare me. Not that it should be your fault. But," I took a deep breath and ignored the snickering in the background, "how can I be with you if I can't get close?"

"What about your father? Your mother? Bella?"

I lifted my head but didn't look directly at Jasper. "I can make phone calls and send emails to my mom. My dad will get phone calls because I will be at college. He won't expect to see me often. Maybe one day…" I let my voice trail off as I tried to think of how to explain Bella. "Well, I'm not going to beat around the bush. Bella is going to follow. If she asks me, I'm not going to tell her no. I'm hoping it will happen differently, but I'm not _that_ good at predicting the future."

"Would you please excuse me?"

"What?" I looked up at his face. He wasn't looking at me. "Yeah."

"I will be back. Please make yourself at home." He walked past me. It was slow for him, but it still left me alone faster than I wanted to be. I heard a door close upstairs, and turned to sit on the bottom step.

"Carlisle is the only one who's changed someone," said Rosalie from her position on the couch. "It's not easy to stop yourself from killing the other person."

"Yeah. But it's not easy for him to be around me," I said, not raising my voice since I knew they didn't need the volume to hear me.

"Why don't you have Carlisle do it?" Emmett asked from behind his magazine.

"Because Jasper needs to do it."

"Why?" he asked again.

"Because." I left him hanging because I didn't know how to explain. Jasper needed to do this. He needed to know he could, that he was stronger than he let himself think he was. There was another reason also, I could feel it. I didn't know what it meant, but I was sure to figure it out sooner or later.

Emmett snorted a laugh. "That's not an answer, shrimp."

"Well, that's all you're going to get."


	8. Blood and Love

**Disclaimer:** I do not own _Twilight_ or it's characters.

**Note:** I'm sorry for the long time between updates. I'm finished with the busy stuff, so expect regular updates again.

* * *

When he didn't come down after five minutes, I started playing with a piece of lint I found on my jeans while thinking about being a vampire and what that actually meant. I pictured Renee trying to figure out why I never visited her. I saw Charlie, noticing how pale I looked and how my brown eyes were now colored with gold. And then I saw Bella, looking just a beautiful as me and Jasper. When I accidentally flicked the lint off my knee, I started picking at my nails. In my line of sight, a third hand crept in. I thought it was going to land on mine to stop the nervous picking, but it went to my forearm instead. I stopped moving, recognizing the foreign hand as belonging to my enemy. That was when the hand clamped down.

It pulled me off the step, making me trip on my own feet as I tried to get them under me. I looked up at the aggressive male leading me to the dining room. "Stop it. If you wanted to talk, you could have asked."

"You wouldn't have come," he simply said.

The tall, bronze haired man with chiseled facial features looked back into my angry yet determined face. I couldn't see what Bella saw in him. He looked too perfect. My thoughts must have struck a nerve because I felt the hand squeeze my arm just enough for me to notice. "How do you know? You can't see the future."

"You can," he said, letting go of me.

"What?" I shook my head, startled. "Well, sort of, but no. It's just wishful thinking."

"Except for Jasper?" he asked, looking smug.

"Listen, just because you can go into my head, doesn't mean you should. You need to learn restraint. Or ask people if you can dig inside. Oh! I know! Dig around in Bella's head."

"This isn't about Bella." I rolled my eyes which didn't help the situation. He moved his face as close as he could to mine and I thought I could smell Bella's flowery shampoo on him. "You need to stop putting ideas into Jasper's head."

"And you need to start putting ideas into Bella's," I spit back.

Angering a vampire wasn't a good idea. I jumped as I heard drywall crumble. If my eyes were closed I could have sworn he hit the wall behind me. But, in the time it took me to blink, he was on the other side of the room standing in front of a hole the size of his hand. The whole thing startled me enough my heart wouldn't calm down with a few simple breaths. I hated how Edward and everyone else in the house could hear that.

"Edward," Esme's voice softly called from the doorway to the kitchen.

"You need to go cool off, man," Emmett said next to me.

"Get away from her."

"Jasper," I finally spoke, still looking at Edward looking at me. "It was my fault. I'll fix it."

"He should know better."

_I'm sorry_, I apologized to Edward without speaking. _I have a tendency to poke before thinking. But you need to understand this isn't your life. And people in love do crazy things._ I thought I saw eyes soften, but I couldn't focus on it for long as his features hardened again.

"Go. I'll fix it."

Jasper took a hold of my hand and anxiously pulled me out of the room. I mouthed a sorry as I passed Emmett. He shrugged his shoulders as if telling me another confrontation was bound to happen.

"Are you sure it's okay for me to let him do all the work?" I asked as he took us away from everyone.

"Yes," said Jasper in a clipped tone.

"You're angry."

"Yes," he repeated, taking me upstairs.

"I'm sorry?"

"Is that a question?"

"No."

He stopped in front of his bedroom door and turned around. "Look," he said as he placed both his hands on the side of my face, "you can't do that to him, to anyone for that matter. Do you know how easily he could have snapped your neck?"

"Yes, but-"

"We're not going to talk about changing you until we get through prom."

"But-"

"You weren't thinking of changing until after graduation, right?"

"Yes, but-"

"Then we still have a year to _think_ about it before seriously _talking_ about it."

I looked at his panicked face. I was confused by the urgency in his voice, the way he ran though everything as if checking them off a list. My voice hitched in my throat, causing me to swallow the panic that was starting to run through me. For the first time this afternoon, I was truly frightened. "Okay," I choked out, watching his eyes darting to my face and away. "But-"

"We're not going to talk about it," he said, almost growling.

"I know, but what's going on with you?"

He dropped his hands and walked into his room, shutting the door behind him. I looked down the lonely hallway and suddenly felt half my size. "You're scaring me, Jasper." His voice didn't come to me, but I did start to feel calm, more than I had in the past twenty minutes. "That's…better. I still wish you'd talk to me, though." I placed my hand on the door beside me. "I'll go help Edward."

As I stepped away with my right foot, I dropped my hand. My nails scraped against the wood until my index finger caught against the decorated grooves. A pain shot through my finger, and I shook my hand to get rid of it. I didn't have to look at it to realize I bent my nail back. _Of all the dumb luck_, I thought as I continued on my way to the stairs. I paused at the top to look at my finger. I had bent it back far enough that small beads of blood were starting to peak out between my nail and my skin. "Shoot."

Nothing in my life registered as slowly as that moment did. The blood wasn't enough to warrant anything more than maybe a run under some water, so I didn't think much of it. This injury happened more than once and I was beyond positive this wasn't going to be the last. But, as I placed my other hand on the banister to guide me safely down the stairs, I saw Edward running toward me. I cocked my head to the side and furrowed my eyebrows as I tried to get a grasp on why he looked so frightened. I felt my purse being pulled behind me and I looked over my shoulder to see what was happening.

I heard Carlisle. "Don't, Jasper."

Edward grabbed my shoulders and pulled me toward him with one hand as the other knocked my knees out from under me. I was still trying to look back behind me when my purse strap broke, but I ignored the falling item to stare at Jasper and Carlisle as I traveled back with Edward. Jasper's hand was reaching toward me. His lips were snarled back like a large cat wanting to go after its prey but not being able to do so. Carlisle was doing his best to hold back his adopted son while trying to catch his attention to get him out of attack mode. To me, he looked as though he didn't know who I was; I was only a piece of meat he wanted.

It was then I realized what was going on.

Edward ran with me into the garage without a word and placed me on the counter in front of the Aston Martin. He looked through a cabinet toward the door and pulled out a first aid kit. I raised an eyebrow.

"Yes, we have a few," he said, answering my unasked question. "It has peroxide. We need to clean up-"

"My nail?"

"It's bleeding." I held out my finger. The bleeding had stopped. "But we can still smell it."

He placed the kit next to me and I pulled out the peroxide and gauze. As I cleaned my finger, I thought about Jasper and wondered if he was back to normal.

"No," he told me, pulling out shallow metal pan. He motioned for me to place the gauze in it. "I don't think he will be."

"Because of me," I said, understanding the situation.

"_That_ is why the two of you need to stay away from each other. He isn't in control of himself yet." He lit the gauze on fire with a lighter I didn't see him get. "He's the only one who has lived off human blood."

I stared at my finger. The only thing that signified the excitement a minute earlier was a light white line across my nail. I thought about how Jasper would be the next time I saw him and how we were going get through this setback. I then thought about Bella. It was a rogue thought, most likely to make me stop thinking about Jasper, but it caused Edward to toss the metal pan in the garbage can harder than I was sure he wanted to. I felt the need to explain myself, but I knew he could see what I wanted to say before it even left my lips.

"I didn't mean to. She just popped in there. She has a tendency to do that."

"I know."

I dropped my hand, but kept staring at the spot it had been. It caused the Vanquish to focus into the foreground. My thoughts went back to Jasper, but Bella still sat on the edge. "He's stronger than he gives himself credit for. So is she."

"I know."

"I'm sorry."

"I am as well."

We didn't explain ourselves more than that. I tried to keep Edward away from my thoughts by counting. I focused on each number as it went past, but each time I made it to a significant number, my mind would jump to its meaning. Edward was nice enough not to make a sound each time I faltered. I made it to 1,863 when someone walked into the garage with us.

"Alice, I am going to take you home. Jasper apologizes he cannot do it himself," said Carlisle's voice. "Here."

I nodded and took my purse. He signaled for me to get into the black Mercedes. "Tell him it's not his fault," I said, glancing toward Edward. He nodded once and I followed Carlisle's directions.

Carlisle dropped me off before Bella returned home from school. I immediately went up to our room and fell onto my side of the bed. I thought I was going to cry or, at the very least, play through the events of the short afternoon. I didn't. With my face buried in my pillow, I fell into a restless sleep.

I looked for him Monday, but he wasn't there. It didn't matter until lunch rolled around. Walking in, I was still debating whether or not I should just skip it since I couldn't sit with Bella or the Cullens. Luckily, I was saved by Emmett and his big hand waving me over to his table. I smiled in relief as I walked over. Other than asking how Jasper was, our table was quiet while the three of them feigned eating and I picked at mine.

It was like that for the next couple of days.

I thought the evenings were going to be the hardest, but I was surprised on Monday when Edward told me to wait with them by his car after school. We waited until the parking lot was empty and I exhausted my supply of questions they wouldn't answer. It was then a car pulled up and Esme stepped out. She ushered me to the car and I went obediently. At first, I naively thought we were going to see Jasper, but she turned the opposite direction. We – more like I – ended up having a nice dinner while we talked about stories of the past.

The next two nights went the same way. Tuesday was Emmett's turn, Wednesday's was Rosalie's. All in all, it was nice to spend time with the family, and I got to know them better, but I couldn't understand why they needed to babysit me. None of them gave me a straight answer to my questions.

On Thursday, Jasper finally showed up. We walked near each other but not as close as before. Our conversation at lunch consisted of the weather and how our studies were going. Everything was overly formal, and I wondered if anyone noticed how the air between us changed. One shake from Edward's head told me my sister didn't even notice anything was up. I didn't know if I was happy about that or not. However, I did know I would eventually have to talk to her.

That evening Rosalie stayed with me again. We went to Port Angeles to do a little shopping. Nothing caught our attention, but we did end up having a small conversation about Jasper. She told me to expect him on Friday with explanations in hand.

I saw Jasper the next morning standing stiffly on the other side of the road by the Aston Martin with a lone lily in his hand. My lips pulled into a small smile. Without a word, Bella got into her truck and went off to school. As soon as she was out of sight, Jasper walked toward me as I moved toward him. We met on the sidewalk to the driveway and he handed me the flower.

"I'm going to put this in something. Do you want to come in?" I asked.

He shook his head.

I rushed inside to find a vase but couldn't find one. Instead, I had to put the flower in a large Seattle Mariners souvenir cup. It looked silly sitting on the small kitchen table and I laughed despite myself.

Jasper was back at the car when I came out again. I half jogged, half walked in anticipation of what the day was going to bring. I hated the fact school was going to have to get into the way of our reunion.

"We're not going to school today."

"Where are we going?"

"Home."

A hopeful hitch in my heart presented itself, and I immediately regretted it. He regretted it too. As quiet as I could be in the gravel of the street, I walked to the passenger side of the car and got in. We didn't say anything else until we reached our destination.

"Are we going to talk about why someone was always around me this week or are we leaving that until the end," I spoke, breaking the still air between us.

"I didn't want you to be tempted to come see me."

I twisted in my seat to see him. "That is a crappy answer and you know it."

There were a few false starts before he replied, "I wanted to keep your mind off the bad." I looked at him questioningly. "You would have tried to break everything down to fix a situation you couldn't have fixed. Then you would have tried to talk to me, and I wasn't ready. I still don't think I'm ready."

It was my turn for false starts. I wanted to refute his statements, but he was right. Having everyone around me, even if they didn't talk to me, made me focus on other aspects of my life like school, Charlie, and Bella. It worked best at school because of Edward and his ability to crawl into my mind, even when I didn't want him there. And, as much as I didn't want to admit it, spending time after school with Esme, Emmett, and Rosalie also helped. It all allowed me to be close to Jasper without being near him. It made me realize early on I wasn't going to be pushed out of his life for good.

"How do you already know me when you don't even know yourself?" I finally blurted out. I lifted a hand to reach out for him, but he jerked back against the car door. It reminded me of when I first tried to reach out to him.

"I do know myself. That is why I am planning on telling you no." He worked his way out of the car and I watched him as he disappeared out the door. I sat in the car for a half a minute before I followed him.

"You can't keep running away from me, Jasper," I said, walking into the house.

"Hello, Alice," said Esme, almost popping up in front of me. "Can I get you anything?"

"No, thank you. I'm fine."

"Okay. If you need anything just ask." She looked at me with her all knowing golden eyes. "I'll be around."

"Thank you," I said again and passed her, determined to find Jasper before he locked himself in his room again. I found him sitting on the couch in the spot Rosalie was the last time I was over. I took a deep breath and walked over to sit next him in the chair Emmett was in. "We need to talk about it."

"That is why I brought you over. So we could talk. But you're not going to change my mind."

"What happened last week won't happen again if I'm a vampire," I started. "So it'll help you, not hurt you."

He half smiled. "I know. It would be nice to not to want to kill you over a simple injury."

I looked away, ashamed. "Sorry about that. I wasn't thinking."

"It's not your fault."

My eyes found his again. "If it's not my fault and it's not your fault, then whose fault is it?"

Jasper took a moment to act as though he was thinking deeply about the question. "Edward's."

Unable to stop myself, I snorted into a laugh, breaking the tension between us. When I calmed myself down, I tried reaching out to Jasper again by moving onto the couch and placing a hand on his thigh. He didn't jerk away, but I could still feel him tense up.

"Did you mean it?" he asked, changing the way I thought the conversation was going.

"Mean what?"

"When you and Edward were squaring off in the dining room, you turned your feelings from anger to…love."

"And you think I fake my feelings?" I asked backed by fake anger. My looks softened and I turned on the couch and sat up on my knees. I then took his face in my hands, making him look at me and nothing else. "I mean every word and every feeling concerning you." I leaned forward and kissed his forehead and let go. "Now, I have a question for you. What was up with you after that? You freaked me out."

"Your feelings weighed so much, I didn't know what else to feel. _You_ freaked _me_ out, Alice. Once I left your side, it was easier to concentrate on calming myself down. And you."

"Don't scare me like that again."

It was his turn to laugh. "I came after you bearing my teeth," – he flashed a frown – "yet you were only scared of me when I was panicking over a feeling?"

"I knew you weren't going to kill me. And you won't kill me when _that_ day comes."

"How can you be so sure?" Jasper asked me seriously.

"Because I've seen it," I answered just as seriously.

The rest of the day was spent talking about nothing and everything. He shared more about his past and I shared more about my ability. I talked about Bella and he talked about Edward. We talked about the day when I would become part of his coven, although he still insisted he wasn't going to be the one to place his teeth in me. We talked about what the first months of being a vampire meant. And we talked about the family I would have to give up until I figured out how to include them in my new life without putting them in danger. By the time the rest of the family found themselves together again at the end of the day, Jasper and I were peacefully together on the couch trying to be blissfully unaware of what the world was doing around us.


	9. Dancing Deeper

**Disclaimer:** I do not own _Twilight_ or its characters.

Thanks to those still reading this and to those who review. I appreciate it. :D

* * *

With the rough patch between Jasper and I smoothed over, my mind turned toward the prom he said he would take me to. A few times, I tried to bridge the gap between Bella and me by asking her to look for a dress with me, but each time I thought better of it. If I wanted to get on her good side again, shopping was not the way to do it. But if I…

"No."

"How come?" I whined a little too loud at the lunch table the following Thursday. Luckily, no one other than those at the Cullen table paid attention to me.

"There is no need for me to pretend to enjoy a prom just so you and your sister can talk. If you want to talk to her, go over there and talk to her. Or go home once in a while," Edward said, not looking up from the book he was reading.

"I still think it would be nice for her."

"It would just give false hope."

"For who?"

He glanced up with a sad glare in his eyes. I slouched into myself and apologized without words. I didn't know if he would believe me or not, but I was trying my best to stop making small jabs here and there about him and Bella. It just didn't seem like it sometimes. I then turned my attention back to the prom and dress shopping. Glancing at Rosalie, I wondered if she was going to the prom with Emmett and if she would mind going with me. I didn't want to think we were becoming friends, but I did think our time together last week had its fun moments. A movement from Edward caught my eyes. It was a nod. I sat up with a determined smile.

"Do you want to go shopping for a dress, Rosalie?"

She sighed dramatically. "Okay."

"Tomorrow."

"Sounds doable."

I thanked Edward as the bell rang to signal lunch was over. For the rest of the afternoon, Jasper was inundated with my chatter about how I thought the shopping trip was going to go. By the time he dropped me off at home, I could almost sense relief wafting off him.

The next day, I couldn't reign in my excitement. I bounced on my toes next to Jasper, dancing around him as we walked from class to class. He was amused by me but tried not to show it; every now and then, I would catch a small smile play across his lips as I continued to run through the list of stores I wanted to visit that evening.

Finally, the school day ended, and I soon found myself in Rosalie's red BMW, zooming down the highway to Seattle. Port Angeles was the town I thought we were going to, and the place I told Charlie we'd be, but Rosalie insisted the dresses there would already be picked over. "Besides," she added, "I'm not risking showing up in the same dress as someone else."

"I don't have much money to spend," I told her, knowing I was easily going to deplete most of the money in my account on this occasion.

"We'll go to a store you can afford. Just don't expect me to buy something there, too." I nodded and looked out the passenger side window at the blurred scenery for the rest of the trip.

We made it to Seattle in no time. I was soon looking up at the tall buildings that housed shops I didn't know even existed. After finding a parking garage, Rosalie and I found ourselves headed to a boutique she wanted to see. It was supposed to be the new up and coming designer hot spot. Once my foot stepped into the shop, I knew I was out of my league. All the mannequins in their designer jeans and tops made me look as though I was taking cues on fashion from Bella.

Rosalie looked around, completely in her element. I looked at the price tag on a shirt and choked on nothing but the air in front of me. I immediately let go of the small tag and walked away with the knowledge that the one of her shirts probably cost more than my whole wardrobe. The shock was short lived, however, as I realized I would love to be able to shop in the high end stores and have enough outfits to be able to go through a wardrobe in a year without a repeat.

For the next few minutes, I watched Rosalie shift through dresses with a saleswoman and pick out the few she wanted to try on. I was completely in the moment of hunting for my perfect dress – for fun, of course – when she turned to me and said, "Pick a few. Try them on."

"Really?"

"Or you can stand there looking like a kid in a candy store and drool all over the fabrics. Either way, it doesn't bother me…much."

I chose a couple of dresses: a short, black and simple affair which looked like something Audrey Hepburn would wear, a knee length, dark burgundy color with a slight black tint where the light didn't touch, and a simple, long white strapless ball gown with a silk black belt wrapped delicately around the waist of the dress.

The first dress looked cute on me, but it didn't stand up to Rosalie's first pick, a floor length red strapless dress which showed off every curve of her beautifully pale body. I complimented her, which helped break the ice more than our short spurts of conversations earlier. I even thought I saw her genuinely smile for the first time after I said Emmett would love seeing her walk down the stairs in that dress.

The second dress looked like me. It was playful, the length stopping at my knees and the spaghetti straps allowing my small shoulders to shine. I could see myself dancing around Jasper in the middle of the dance floor, everyone admiring not only me but him as well. Rosalie, who changed to a strapless pink dress with a skirt of big fabric roses, saw how I twirled around in the mirrors and laughed a friendly laugh before giving me a compliment about how the dress suited me.

Then I came out of the dressing room wearing the long white gown. Rosalie had her red strapless one on again, checking out how she looked one last time. By the way she started messing with her hair, I knew she found the one. As I walked up to the mirror, she commented on how good the white looked against my slightly tan skin. I looked at myself in the mirror. The smile that should have grown faded as my mind took me to another time and place.

Jasper and I were there. He was in a nice dark suit, and I was in a short white dress. We were standing near an older woman with a small bouquet of lilies and an older man in a white robe over black who held a book open in his hands in front of him. It was then, as the two of us kissed, I realized what I was seeing. My heart started beating as the vision broke up, leaving a picture of my hands holding his. I raised my finger to my temples and rubbed the area in circular motions while repeating, "I can't wear this. I can't wear this."

"Are you okay?" asked Rosalie, concern in her voice.

"Yes," I answered, shaking my head. "I'll be… I'll be back."

I practically ran into the dressing room and quickly stripped out of the dress. The small scene played over and over again in my head as I clumsily dressed back into the clothes I came in with. When all I had was my shoes left to put on, I stopped and sat down on the small bench in the room. My eyes focused on the cream colored carpet below my feet as I worked on trying to slow my breathing to force myself to forget the image I hoped wasn't going to happen.

"Are you really okay? Do you want to go back? Call someone?"

"No!" I jumped up and opened the door to see Rosalie with her cell phone in her hand. "Bella won't talk to me and Charlie doesn't understand. And Jasper would just freak out like last time. And I need some time to hide my thoughts from Edward." I shook my head. "Could we just stop and get something to drink?"

In a few minutes, my shoes were on and we were out of the boutique and into the coffee shop across the street. I sipped my hot coffee as Rosalie pretended to read the newspaper with her own cup.

"I'm sorry I ruined our shopping trip."

"You haven't ruined it." She looked up from the paper. "Yet." With a smirk on her lips, she looked back down.

"I can see glimpses of the future," I blurted out, not quite understanding why I wanted to talk to her about what I saw. I surmised it was probably because she was the only person I could really talk to at the moment.

"Yes?" she said plainly. When I didn't say anything, she put the paper down, folding it into the neat lines it was in before she opened it up. "Are you waiting for me to be surprised?"

"No. I just thought I would get more. I'm sure you don't meet many humans with gifts not unlike yours," I said truthfully before I brushed it away. "Anyway, I can see glimpses of the future. They usually come true. I pride myself on my ninety-five percent success rate. But," I closed my eyes and replayed the scene, "what if you saw something you didn't want to happen. Would you try to change it even when you know you can't?"

"That depends on what it is I saw."

"I saw something I wanted but nothing I wanted at the same time." My eyes slowly opened and looked upon Rosalie. With a weak smile, I shook my head. "Just forget about it. It's just me being stupid. Of course life isn't supposed to go the way you want it to."

Her eyes softened and sadness spread across her face. "It rarely ever does."

I reached across the table and touched her cold hand sitting on top of the paper. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I did get Emmett." The happiness was short lived, however, and her face sat back in the sorrow. "But I lost everything else. Carlisle was the one, but I don't blame him. It was Royce who stole everything from me: my youth, my innocence, my future, my friends, my family. I'm not going to get into it here and now, but I will tell you to think about what you are doing with Jasper. I know that's not the advice you were seeking, but you need think about everything you're leaving behind by being with him. If you're having reservations, then you should step away now before the two of you become more attached."

"The only way I can safely be a part of his life is to be," I paused, trying to talk around the word vampire to keep the details from the ears of the other people in the coffee shop, "the same as him. Plus, I'll be able to take care of him. He doesn't want to admit it, but he needs me. Like you need Emmett."

"We are both very selfish," she commented with a smile on her lips.

"Well, you two _are_ twins," I chuckled.

We went back to the boutique and Rosalie purchased the red dress. Then we went to a couple more stores before heading back to the car without the perfect dress for me. I decided the next day I was going to venture to Port Angeles to see what the shops there had to offer. If that wasn't going to work, I quickly planned to make a less sophisticated copy of the dress I loved in the boutique.

The car ride back to the Cullen's wasn't as bad as the drive to Seattle. The air between the two of us had softened considerably. We talked about the different accessories Rosalie could pair with the dress and about how much Emmett was going to drool over her. It all made me excited about Jasper and his reaction to my entrance.

"You'll be walking down in your underwear. He won't know what to do with himself," she joked.

I laughed at the thought of him passing out and making a Jasper sized hole in the floor. It was then the vision decided to pop back into my head. I groaned and rubbed my forehead. "How am I going to stop Edward from seeing my vision?"

"Imagine Bella in a skimpy dress," she said in a serious tone.

"So you really _do_ want me to die." We both laughed and spent the rest of the ride in comfortable silence.

The week after our trip, I walked into Jasper's room and found the perfect dress I tried on in the boutique with an elegantly written note stuck on the cloudy plastic garment bag saying:

_You owe me big time. – Rosalie_

The few weeks until prom sped by a little too quickly with all the last minute plans I felt I had to make. Adjusting the dress to fit my small frame and the much needed new accessories to go with my outrageously expensive gift were top priority. But there was also Charlie. As soon as I told him I was going to prom, he kept prodding me to get Bella to join me. I tried a few times, but I never got as far as actually asking her to come. He also wanted to know who I was going with, but all I would give him was a name and told him if he had any problems to call Dr. Cullen. Having Jasper meet my dad still scared me, not because of Jasper but because of my father.

Then, all of a sudden, it was the day of the prom. Jasper went out hunting the night before, so when he came to pick me up that afternoon, his eyes were the perfect amber color I loved to see. On the way to his house, we – mostly I – talked about our plans, every unimportant moment the day would have to take for me to end up looking just as good as the always gorgeous Rosalie. He let me know I would be beautiful even if I was wearing a burlap sack, to which I grumbled about stuffing a sack of potatoes down his throat.

When we arrived, I gave him one last look and headed up to Rosalie and Esme to start getting ready. At the beginning, Esme and I mostly fussed about Rosalie's hair and make-up. It wasn't hard to figure out every hairstyle and every different shade of lipstick accentuated her stunning features. The whole process only made me realize I was glad she already had Emmett by the time Jasper had arrived. Otherwise…

"Are you ready, Alice?" Esme's voice sounded, breaking me away from my insecure thoughts.

Those thoughts didn't have time to reappear. My short hair didn't allow for many fancy styles like Rosalie's, and, after trying a few different clips, I decided to let it stand for itself. Besides, it was the dress that was supposed to be prominent. My make-up was subtle and simple, a light cranberry shadow and pink lips. Then it was time for the dress. After having it taken in at a few key spots, it was more than perfect. Esme helped me with the hidden zipper in the back as I stared at myself in the mirror. Nerves started to break through. If Jasper was near, there was no way I would be able to explain it. It was just a stupid high school dance. A stupid high school dance where I was going to be taking a vampire into a small enclosed space filled with humans. But, no, that wasn't what had me nervous.

It was Jasper and me standing together in front of the man with an all important book and the all important symbol of sacrifice behind him and –

A soft knock woke me from my daze. "Are you ladies ready?" Edward's voice asked. "They're starting to pace."

"They can keep pacing. You know we're supposed to keep them waiting," Rosalie said, making sure her voice could be heard downstairs.

I shook my head with a smile and grabbed my silver bracelet, black shawl, and small black purse and walked to the door. Edward was still waiting in the hallway. My eyes tried to brush past him, but they were still curious and wanted to know if he saw anything my brain thought of. A snort and a small smirk let my whole being know he had seen it. He didn't say a word about it and let me go, but I knew it was only a matter of time before the vision would start to make its waves.

It was the top of the stairs that I let everything about Edward drop. Jasper was at the bottom looking up. He looked the same yet completely different. His blond hair was nicely brushed, styled just the same as it had always been, but the few hairs that would have usually been out of line were standing in their right formation. His hard features were softened as if he smoothed them out with a finger the way someone drawing with charcoal would. The suit he wore was a classic black. Under the two buttoned black coat a wine colored vest was peeking out while holding back a black tie and a white dress shirt. He smiled.

And, suddenly, I forgot how to breathe.

By the time I took a breath, Jasper had started up the steps to get me. Concern marred his face, and I tried making him feel better by smiling and shaking my head while swallowing to calm my newly awakened heart. He met me halfway, though, and lifted up his hand for me to take. At the bottom, he walked with me into the living room where Carlisle sat and Emmett paced. I briefly wondered if Emmett was like that every time he and Rosalie had a special occasion like a prom or a wedding.

"Every single time," said Edward with a slight groan.

"Just wait, Edward. You'll see," said Emmett.

"It would be nice if you didn't ruin _this_ floor," said Carlisle, prompting Emmett to stop which he did.

"Oh," I said, letting go of Jasper's hand to open my purse. I pulled out my camera and handed it to Carlisle. "Would you take a picture of us?"

He smiled as he took the device. "Of course."

I placed my purse and shawl on the couch and fumbled with the clasp on my bracelet. Jasper's hands fell into view and he took it from me. With delicate fingers, he easily placed it on my wrist. When our eyes met, I could have sworn he blushed along with me. I reached up to his cheek with my other hand and let it rest on his cheek. Even with the heels I was wearing, my height didn't match his, so I pushed myself up from the balls of my feet to give me height. My goal was to give him a kiss, but he met me halfway and placed his lips on my forehead. I closed my eyes and allowed myself to believe we were the only ones there.

"Rose. You look…"

Emmett's voice faded off as Jasper's took front and center. "I'll be right back."

I nodded and let my hand fall from him. By the time my eyes had opened, he was walking away from me and up to the stairs. Before I could feel alone in the midst of Emmett and Rosalie saying their hellos and Esme and Carlisle having their private conversation, Jasper was back. He held a small but long rectangular box in front of him with a tiny bow on the end. When I looked up to him and wanted to ask, rather stupidly, if it was for me, he nodded. I took it from him and pulled the top off. In the box was a soft and black rectangular jewelry box. I glanced back up to him and he ushered for me to go on. After pulling out the other box and flipping it open on the hinges, I found myself staring at a beautiful silver chain dotted with small diamonds and one silver open heart charm hanging off of it.

He took the necklace away from me and carefully unwrapped from the box. Using the same delicate touch as he did with the bracelet, he placed the necklace around my neck. When the beautiful necklace stopped moving against my skin, his unneeded breath brushed against my ear. "Just something to say how sorry I am." He kissed my neck and lingered there for a moment.

"You don't need to…" Someone shuffled behind us and I remembered once again it wasn't just the two of us standing in the house. He backed away. My mind was buzzing with the words I didn't get to say as I looked around the room and the tense, still bodies in it. It immediately donned on me what they thought was going to happen. Instead of tensing up like them, I smiled and blushed.

And then I busted into a laugh.

"You broke her, Jasper," chuckled Emmett.

I shook my head and motioned for Jasper to come closer while looking at Carlisle. "A few more pictures?" Quelling my laughter, I smiled for the camera. I kept the happiness inside and hoped Jasper bottled up as much of it as he could for now, for later, for whenever he let himself think he was the monster I knew he wasn't.

Within an hour we were pulling into the school's parking lot with Rosalie and Emmett settling in next to us, and it seemed seconds after that we were herded into the gym. As soon as I saw the place, my eyes lit up. To me, it was perfect. The theme was Enchanted Garden and our first step into the gym was met with a fake stone walkway lined with fake red roses in planters that brought us to a white painted pergola wrapped in more fake red vine roses where the pictures were being taken. As Jasper walked along the path, I kept my eyes looking at the white chairs lining the section of the gym designated as the dance floor. The DJ was playing some music and there were a few people dancing, but most of the people found their way following another stone pathway out of the gym. I assumed they were heading to the food. I berated myself for not eating something before arriving.

"Whatever it is, don't worry about it," Jasper spoke as we walked closer to the pergola.

"But dinner."

"I've faked my way through more dinners than you've been alive."

"But still…"

"It's fine."

We finished walking through the sea of green grass, red roses, and grey stone and stood in front of the professional camera. Wanting the best looking picture, I quickly hurried through different positions Jasper and I could take. Looking at the camera? Too prom cliché. Hand in hand? Overall, too cliché. Staring at each other? Too wedding cliché.

A laugh sounded from where Jasper was standing. I looked up at him, half angry that he was laughing at me and half glad at his comfortableness. "The woman I love is worrying over how to stand for a picture when she doesn't think twice about who is in the picture next to her?"

Shock stopped me from breathing for the second time that evening. My eyes went wide and my mouth popped open like a fish before both softened into a calm smile as every part of my body became overwhelmed with a feeling it had only touched on. Before I could say anything, however, a flash of light to the right of me brought me out of my reverie.

"Did you mean it?" I asked, acting like a child who was just told by her dad that they were going to Disney Land as we walked to the cafeteria where they were holding the dinner. "What you said?"

"I mean everything I say," he answered, playing the father role just as perfectly.

I stopped walking and he did the same. As couples passed by us, our conversation became silent. I reached for his cheek in the same way I did inside his parent's home only this time our lips tenderly touched. "I love you, too." It felt weird to say it out loud, to announce it to him when he didn't need it to be said. Somehow, deep down, I knew these words would be uttered little in our long lives, but the passing thought wasn't a sad one.

We spent the dinner close to Rosalie and Emmett. They both felt it was better if Jasper stayed near them, and I wasn't about to disagree with them. But it wasn't dinner I was worried about. It was the dancing. At the beginning, the two of us stayed off on the sidelines, dancing our own dances, not bothering to pay attention to the tempo changes. As the night wore on and more people finished their dinner making the dance floor a little too crowded, Jasper and I moved away from his family members and the humans to the garden entrance. We danced in between fake trees and flowers until I could feel Jasper tensing a little too much.

I pulled him out of the gym and the both of us took a deep breath of fresh air. We walked away from the groups of people who also wanted fresh air or, by the looks of one couple on a bench we walked by, wanted an unsupervised make-out session. Our steps didn't take us far, only to our own unsupervised bench. I took off my shoes and jumped up on the bench, making me almost eye level to him, and placed my head on his shoulder. There we danced some more.

"I saw us," I started, not stopping from our slight swaying, "getting married."

He stopped moving and I lifted my head from his shoulder as he spoke, "Because I decided I won't change you unless we're married."

I frowned at him, telling him without words that my visions didn't happen because of a decision someone made. "Then I accept your awful proposal."

He chuckled. "Of course you do."

"You know it's not going to happen after graduation, don't you," I said, a sadness breaking the edge of my voice.

"I had a feeling."

The sadness crept in and threatened to overwhelm me. I thought of my father with Billy and my mother with her new husband. Then I thought of Bella and she was alone. Slowly, a shadow walked in. It was Edward, but neither of them looked at each other. She was still alone. "We'll help her if she doesn't." It wasn't quite a question, but it wasn't a declaration either.

Jasper just nodded. "You'll think of something. You always do."

I blocked out the thoughts of Bella and Edward. "Are you confident?"

"Not for a long time, Alice. Not for a long time."

"Can we go home?"

He smiled and took my hand as I jumped off the bench. The barefooted pixie and the proper gentleman walked back to the car hand in hand, our words hanging heavy in the air around us.


	10. In Motion

**Disclaimer:** I do not own _Twilight_ or its characters.

I hope you all like it!

* * *

A week after prom, I found myself sitting in Jasper's room downloading the prom pictures onto his laptop so I could send them to Renee. Jasper left me alone, something I was fine with as I inspected every frozen moment for a good five minutes before moving on to the next one. There were the ones of Jasper and I staring at the camera and the ones of us staring at each other, but the picture of Jasper placing the bracelet on my wrist was the one I stared at the longest. If it had been a good ten years ago and the camera was filled with film instead of microchips, the focus would not have been on our faces but on Jasper's soft touch against my skin. It reminded me of the photo of my parents in my bedroom, the one where the focus was on their waists and their arms lovingly wrapped around each other.

There was one picture I wish I had: the moment Jasper placed the necklace on me. I searched for it, but none existed and I couldn't remember if there was a flash at that moment or not. It would have been my other favorite, but I supposed it was just as well. A photograph wouldn't have been able to compare to the memory of his breath tickling my neck, his sweet but still masculine smell enveloping me, his words booming in my ear…

"The hungry groan rumbling from his throat."

I sighed heavily and slowly turned around on the chair to face Edward as he stepped away from the open door. "I didn't hear anything."

He scoffed, "And you humans are so good at listening."

"Why do you think you can scare me away?" I shook my head. "He wasn't going to do anything, especially with you all standing there. Thoughts aren't actions. And a groan isn't an action. Jazz isn't as weak as you both seem to think he is. Maybe if you had confidence in him, he would too."

"Did you forget what he almost did to you on the staircase?"

My mind flashed back to the moment I was being taken away from a bloodthirsty Jasper in Edward's arms. To me, Jasper's dark eyes weren't completely taken over by his need, but I knew reality could have been different. I tried not to let Edward get to me by pushing buttons I didn't even know were there. "If there isn't anything new you want to talk about, I suggest you leave."

"You're not so good at keeping me out," he merely said, taking a step back toward the door.

"You didn't see the whole thing," I said, picking up quickly what he was talking about. I briefly flashed to me in a wedding dress, but didn't let the repeat vision go any farther. "And just because I see it, doesn't make it true." Although, I couldn't help hoping this one was.

Edward opened his mouth to say more, but Jasper knocked on the door as he pushed it open, stopping the conversation and the eye contact. "Edward, Emmett wants you."

Downstairs, I heard Emmett calling up through the floorboards, "Yeah, I need someone to throw the baseball to."

I looked at Jasper and smiled, shaking my head at the bad excuse Emmett had come up with. His eyes weren't looking at me, but at Edward. The two of them stood there, eyes on each other in a silent conversation until Edward turned out of the room, slow enough to know it must have felt like moving in slow motion for the vampire. I eyed Jasper questioningly when his attention focused on me, but Jasper shook his head once, letting me know it wasn't a conversation I needed to be a part of.

"So…Jazz?" he asked as his feet brought him closer to me.

With a nod, my smile returned to my lips. "Yeah, Jazz. What? You don't like it?"

"No. I was just trying it out."

"You remind me of the music style," I started, giving him the explanation he didn't ask for. "Jumpy, smooth, heated, laid back, jarring, comfortable, a contradiction but rightfully so."

"If I'm straight jazz, then you're a Gershwin composition," he said, without missing a beat.

I stood up, dangerously close to him. "Oh, so I'm influenced by you?"

"Yes."

He lifted a hand to brush his cold fingers across my cheek. I shuddered as my eyes closed, but not because of the cold. "I thought I was the one who influenced you," I whispered as lips rested on the top of my forehead. A flash of something akin to desire shot through me, making my breath come out raspy and my heart beat faster. "Okay…I get it." My words barely made it out as I tried to fight against the feeling.

He chuckled, but I felt him take a step back.

"You are so dead."

Graduation was the next big event in the Cullen household. Of course, it didn't hold much pomp and circumstance as mine eventually would, but I still insisted in making it a big enough deal that Emmett, Rosalie, and Jasper had to attend the ceremony along with their family. I sat next to Esme, Carlisle and Edward that Sunday afternoon two weeks later. Luckily, the ceremony was outside and the sun neglected to show its face. I didn't know if Jasper could spend the time stuck in a gym without going ballistic; it would have been nowhere near as easy as sitting in a classroom and sometimes even that was too hard for him.

All three of them graduated with high honors as to be expected by three vampires, and, afterward, when everyone was spending time with each other deciding where to eat and saying their last goodbyes, we slipped out and headed back home.

"Congratulations," I said, handing Jasper two small presents as we sat in the back of Carlisle's Mercedes with him and Esme in the front. "If you don't like it, just let me know and we can go pick out something else. I just…" I let my words fade out as I watched him open up the gift.

The first package opened contained a small rectangular box not unlike the one he presented me with. This box, however, contained an expensive antique Waterman fountain pen decked out in silver swirls on top of a black background. I was nervous as his fingers traced the top of the cap down to the silver nib, but the anxious smile never wavered. Then he moved onto the next package. It was wider and only slightly taller than the container the pen was in. Soon, the chocolate brown of the present was poking through the graduation themed paper. When it was free, Jasper finally glanced up at me.

"You never really decided what you were going to do in the next year or two or more, but you did mention something about possibly writing another book." I looked down at the leather covered journal with a flap tied carefully closed with leather strings in the same chocolate brown. "I noticed the journals next to your books and, after reading part of one, I realized you write before typing them. I figured… But, like I said, if you don't want it, we can get something else."

He reached out for me as he slid across the black leather of the seat, and I leaned my head on his shoulder with my lips barely touching his neck while I took in his scent. "I don't want something else. I love my gift. Thank you."

I kissed his neck tenderly before taking my head off his shoulder. I caught a glimpse of Carlisle's smiling eyes looking at me from the rear view mirror and let Jasper feel how much I loved him instead of letting him know with words as I wanted the moment to be as private as it could be.

By the end of that week, I finished my exams and said goodbye to my friends with promises of getting together at the end of the summer when I returned from my trip with my sister to see my mother. Only a couple of days after that, I was on the plane sitting next to my sister, the uncomfortable cloud of silence sitting over us both.

To try and get away from it, I thought of Jasper and the past week. I kept the trip away from him until my last day of school because I didn't know how to go about letting him know. It also scared me that Jasper could decide to just walk away from me while I was gone even though I was ninety-nine percent sure that wasn't going to happen. On the short drive to the house, Edward kept sighing in frustration as I chewed over everything again and again.

"He won't leave you because he'll be just as worried as you. Just call him every now and then," he said, "for the sake of everyone in the house."

"You're not so bad sometimes," I joked with the vampire.

As soon as I rushed into Jasper's room, I let him know what was happening. He told me to have fun and enjoy the Florida sun.

"So, what will you do without me?" I asked as I watched him writing in the journal I bought him from my spot on the desk chair.

"Get some work done," he said as he sat in the big chair in the corner, his expression serious.

"You're not going to even miss me a little?" I pouted.

"Maybe." He put the pen down and closed the journal as he looked up at me. I saw the playfulness in his eyes and I couldn't help but smile.

"I'll call you every day."

"Okay."

"You don't believe me?" He smirked and I stood up with mock anger on my face. "Oh, go on, make light of the situation. By the time I come back, you'll be gone."

"Where am I going?"

"Texas. And I won't get to see you."

He chuckled. "I'll be right here. You can see me as much as you want."

My feet led me closer to Jasper and the chair. "No I won't. How will I explain going to the Cullen's house when Jasper isn't supposed to be there?"

"Rosalie? Emmett? Edward?"

I moved the journal onto my lap as I sat on his and leaned against his chest. "Rosalie would work. Emmett, too. But would Bella believe me if I said I was going to see Edward?"

His laughter bounced through me. "No, most likely not."

We talked about nothing of importance after that, and, sometimes, we didn't even talk at all. I licked my lips remembering the taste of Jasper on them until a baby's cry brought me out of my daydreams. I embarrassedly sighed and glanced to my left where Bella sat. Before I could think clearly about what I was doing, my soft voice called, "Bella." She turned toward me and the words mistake flashed across my mind. "I'm sorry."

I looked at the back of the seat in front of me again and waited for her response. "That's all you have to say?" Her voice wasn't calm. It felt too sitcom for her to say she was sorry too and that this silence between us had gotten way out of hand, but that was what I wanted from her. I wanted us to make up with a hug and then for us to spend the rest of the trip talking about our missing time together. I wanted it to be like it used to be.

As I turned toward her, I was ready to usher another peace offering, but I suddenly realized I didn't want to. Her words meant she wanted another battle, and I was ready to give her one. "I'm sorry that I've been so mean to you lately. I know you're trying to protect me, but sometimes I just wish that you would let me make my own mistakes."

"This isn't possibly a little mistake. This could be your life."

The overused words fell before me and all I could do was rub my temples in a circular motion to stop the headache that wanted to come. "I know what I'm doing, and if you would just be patient you'd see that I'm going to be fine. Nothing bad will happen to me." I turned my exhausted tone into a cheerful one as I pushed on one of her buttons. "In fact, I predict that something good will happen to you as a result of all this. Like, for instance, you seem to be forming a friendship with Edward."

"We are suffering through this together. We're not friends, per se, but I do have to admit that it's nice not fighting with him." She leaned back, exhausted as well. At this point I knew we both had no energy to fight with each other anymore. Our ending wouldn't hold a hug, but we would be better than we were.

"It seems to me that maybe there might be more developing between the two of you," I said, leaning close to her.

"No," she protested, and I giggled. "I'm not interested in him like that. Sure, he's good looking, but he can be so rude."

"You are trying so hard to convince me that you don't like him that you must inevitably like him. You wouldn't be protesting so hard if that was not the case. Wouldn't it be funny if we ended up marrying brothers? Well, foster brothers."

"It's not going to happen, Alice, so get that in that thick skull of yours."

I laughed, but didn't say one more word as I settled in my chair and waited for that Florida sun.

Renee's first question when she saw us was about Jasper. Selfishly, I spent the whole car ride back to her house and then some talking about the two of us while leaving out the important information.

"But I'm not the only one who has caught the eye of a Cullen," I said at the end, glancing at my sister. "Edward likes Bella. A feeling she reciprocates." I left the other two women in the kitchen to cook dinner while I rushed to my temporary bedroom to call Jasper and let him know I made it safely.

The rest of the summer was fun, nice, relaxing, and a little exciting when Bella almost fell into the fire pit on Renee's deck. Overall, the trip was a much needed one. It allowed me to see Renee one last time since I didn't know when I would be able to see her again. It also allowed me to try to solidify the bond between my sister and me. I called Jasper just about every day. The only exceptions were when I knew he was hunting. Those were the times I called another Cullen, mostly Rosalie, who started to become an ally of mine despite the fact I still wanted to become a vampire.

The last few days of the summer were saved for the friends I promised to hang out with. Jessica, Angela and I went new clothes shopping in Port Angeles, a handful of us went to the movies again, and a group of us made our way to La Push for one last hurrah before we became bogged down in homework. Jacob even made his way down to the water's edge. We didn't spend much time remembering our last conversation. I thanked him for telling me the truth in his own way, and he told me to be careful. The rest of our time together was spent on forgetting about the supernatural and having fun with the rest of the people from Forks.

And then it was time for school.

Getting around to the classes was easy enough, even if the subjects weren't. I started sitting back at the table with Bella and the rest of the humans, but every now and then I could swear Edward was trying to bore holes into the back of my head. When that happened, I would look back with questions addressed to the mind reader, but not even a short nod or shake of the head was given as a reply; he acted as though he couldn't hear a single word I was saying.

I focused on getting into the groove of my schedule before I went to the Cullen's. Rosalie picked me up the Friday before my and Bella's birthday with an excuse about shopping and dinner. I let Bella know I'd bring her home something, but she brushed me off by telling me to enjoy myself which didn't leave me feeling guilt free by a long shot. On the way to the house, I played with the hem of my light pink cotton dress only to stop to push up or pull down the sleeves of the white sweater.

"You're just a nervous as he is," laughed Rosalie.

"Why should he be nervous?"

"The same reason you are."

I saw him standing on the porch when we finally made it into the clearing the house stood in. Rosalie thankfully stopped car on the driveway, and I practically ran toward him. We met each other halfway and embraced each other without caring who around us was watching.

"I missed you," I said, looking up at him after our hug was over.

"We talked every day."

"Not _every_ day," I retorted. "Come here." I rose up on the tips of my toes and he lowered his face to mine. Our lips touched hungrily, and I understood why I didn't let myself think too much about this part of my relationship with Jasper; there was no way I would have made it the whole summer if I did. As I once again permitted my tongue to taste him, I heard a man clearing his throat.

"Esme would like to see you two."

I broke the kiss, and the two of us paused in the feeling of the moment before he turned around with my hand in his. I saw Edward standing at the door a twisted look on his face as if it was Emmett and Rosalie he was watching. He smirked as a flash of the one time I happened to see the flamboyant couple in the kitchen when I wanted a drink of water. After that, I made Jasper retrieve my drinks. The couple couldn't sneak up on me if I stayed in Jasper's room.

Edward's slight chuckle was cut off before we made it to him. The anger I never saw him without was placed back on his features, making them even harder than normal. I asked him again what was going on, but he turned around and headed somewhere in the house.

"Welcome back, Alice," smiled Esme as we walked in. "Come." She pulled me along with my free hand to the dining room. My eyes immediately went to the beautiful dinner arrangement at the other end of the long oval table. And then the food hit my nose, making my mouth water. My stomach growled a second later.

"I'm glad you like it already," she laughed.

"You didn't have to do that," I said, pulling my eyes from the food.

"Yes I did. Jasper wanted you to have dinner, but he cannot cook. So, I took over. Happy Birthday."

With a small hug, Esme left. I let go of Jasper's hand and walked to the one plate covered under a stainless steel dome with a small ornate handle on top. Jasper walked around the other side of table, coming up behind me to pull out my chair and push it back in when I sat down. I whispered a thanks as he unveiled my dinner. The rush of the stuffed chicken on the plate ushered another growl from my stomach.

"Chicken Florentine," he said with a smile and sat down in the chair to my right, "with vegetable rice."

"You didn't have to –"

He shook his head. "Eat."

It was not my best moment. As soon as the first forkful of chicken hit my tongue, I was a lost cause. For a vampire, Esme knew how to cook. Every bite only made the dish better in my eyes. The chicken mixed perfectly with the garlic sauce it was placed on as well as the sun dried tomatoes stuffed into it. After I scarfed it down in record time, I grinned sheepishly at Jasper. It was only then I realized he sat there and watch me eat. "It was delicious?"

All he did was laugh and help me out of the chair in the same way he helped me onto it before leading me into the living room.

The rest of the family was patiently waiting on the other side. Rosalie and Emmett sat on the long white couch. Esme and Carlisle were talking in the corner near a table with something stacked on it, and Edward was standing near the stairs as if he just made it down.

"Happy Birthday, Alice," said Carlisle as he and Esme stepped away from the table to reveal a simple, but elegant two tiered white birthday cake.

I walked to the cake. The closer I got, the easier it became to see the detailed light purple lilies sitting on top of it around the lettering which wished me and Bella a happy eighteenth birthday. I felt guilty once again that she wasn't here celebrating with me. I quickly decided to give her something extra special when the actual date rolled around. "She'll love it. Thank you." I turned around to four smiling faces, one neutral face, and one slightly nervous one. "Oh, and of course I love it. It's very pretty. I'm afraid to eat it."

"Alice," said the slightly nervous face as it moved closer.

"What?" I asked, picking up on his nervousness. I suddenly didn't like where the night was going, and I thought of me standing in a house devoid of the vampires I already considered my family. He grabbed my hands and the nervousness jumped tenfold.

"Jasper," said Carlisle in a calm voice.

Immediately, the nervousness started to wane and I glared up at vampire in front of me. "What did I say about scaring me like that? What the hell is wrong with you?"

The sound of Emmett's laughter reached my ears, but the humor was lost on me.

"Sorry," Jasper merely said.

"Don't let it happen again, okay?" He shot a small smile toward me and I changed the subject. "So, cake?"

"Alice, I-I," he stumbled, something I never knew him to be capable of. "I never thought of myself being anything remotely human until I met the Cullens. Even then, I thought how idiotic it was to spend the rest of existence pretending. But I worked through it and ended up in a semi-comfortable state.

"Then you showed up. I couldn't think of anything but–" He cut himself off and took a deep breath. I frowned. "I knew I was moving through life in a haze until then. It has only been a short time, but you made me feel emotions I never thought I'd ever feel again. Most of all, you make me hope, something I thought was dangerous. I know–

Wait, I'm going to do this right."

Jasper's body fell to one knee. His right hand let my left one go and it searched in the pocket of his khaki pants. He pulled out a small square box and popped it open, presenting the contents to me. On the platinum band of the ring was a flower made up of diamonds. Each petal had its own round stone around a set of smaller circular diamonds. In the center was another circular diamond, only this one was bigger than the few surrounding it. The whole ring was too much yet perfect at the same time; I was torn between grabbing at it and putting it on and telling him to take it back.

I don't know when it started, but, staring at the ring, my vision started to blur. I closed my eyes to remedy the situation, except it only made it worse as the reason for the change in my vision dropped onto my cheeks. "Jazz…"

"For my own selfish reasons I'm asking you to marry me."

I opened my eyes and fell to my knees. Pulling my remaining hand from his, I wrapped my arms around him and crushed him to my body. "So you'll do it? You'll…" My mind flashed to me standing next to Jasper in the window as the sun danced off our diamond-like skin.

"Yes."

"And that's how you propose to a woman," I spoke with tearful laughter as I pushed myself away to wipe the tears from my eyes. Jasper took the opportunity to slip the ring onto my finger. I stared at it for a moment, watching the diamonds pick up the light and turn it into a small rainbow of colors.

"I will always love you," he whispered.

Looking up at Jasper, my eyes caught sight of Edward. The unhappiness of his face cut me like my new diamonds would glass. I didn't need to have his gift to know what he was thinking. Bella. Charlie. Renee. The three other important people in my life would now be affected; I was setting the gears in motion, so to speak. I knew what I was getting into, but, at this moment, I refused to let the emotion of the situation get to me because I knew they would be fine. But what if they weren't? What if my decision changed the outcome?

I pushed the questions aside as I kissed Jasper's cheek. I didn't want to think that my love for Jasper would be the reason Edward would never have his. "For eternity."

When I looked back for Edward, there was only an empty space.


	11. No Return

**Disclaimer:** I do not own _Twilight_ or its characters.

Again... Hope everyone enjoys the chapter! :D

* * *

As much as I hated it, I left the engagement ring in Jasper's possession. That was one gift I didn't need to pop up in the wrong hands. At school, I found myself absentmindedly playing with the empty finger as if it was still there. I did it so much I was surprised no one called me out on it. Not having an excuse to spend every day at the Cullen's, I didn't get to wear it as often as I wanted to. Whenever an invite from Rosalie came and I could spend time with Jasper, the ring never left my finger. In fact, my eyes rarely left it.

With the good came the bad. Whatever relationship with Edward I was building was completely non-existent ever since the day of the proposal. At first, whenever I was near him at school or at Jasper's, I found myself saying how sorry I was. It wasn't until I realized I had no reason to be sorry, that this was the way everything was supposed to work, that I stopped trying to call for Edward's forgiveness.

Nine days after my birthday celebration with the house full of vampires and five days after I celebrated it with my human family, I found myself sitting on the couch in Charlie's living room, not watching the football game that was on. Instead, I saw our calendar with the days of September already lived crossed off. Then I saw a pen stopping after the word 'leaving' in my right hand and the engagement ring I never wore at home on my left. It took seconds to play but a minute to understand. When Charlie jumped up in excitement over the touchdown, I jumped up to get my phone.

"Where are you going?" he asked as I touched the bottom step.

"It's time to call Jasper. Let me know who wins."

"You plan on talking to him for two hours?"

"Look who you're talking to, dad."

I heard a faint chuckle and ran up the stairs and into my room. Bella was on our bed – studying or reading I couldn't be sure – when I picked up the phone. "I almost forgot to call Jasper." She rolled her eyes at me and I ducked out of the room. Pushing his speed dial number, I walked into Charlie's room.

"Hello, Jas –"

"Jasper, can you come over," I whispered in unneeded panic.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I just…saw something and I want to talk to you face to face."

"I understand. I'll be there shortly."

I pushed the red END button on the phone and dropped my arm to my side for a moment before putting it back to my ear. Faking a conversation, I walked back out of my father's room and down the stairs. As soon as I closed the door, I hurriedly walked into the forest that almost surrounded the house, the phone at my side. I stopped only when I knew the area was safe from prying eyes. I paced the length of about ten feet with my eyes on the ground until Jasper caught me in a hug. I willed myself to calm down or Jasper helped me; either way, I didn't step away from him until I was sure my face wasn't scrunched up in unfelt pain.

"We're leaving," I said, breaking the silence, "in three days. In the morning before everyone is awake. Well, in my house. I'm going to leave a note as my goodbye."

"I thought we were waiting."

"But I saw."

"They are not always true, are they?" he asked and I could feel my fear and sadness in his voice. He wanted to leave as much as I did.

"But we have to leave, right? I can't be changed here."

"Was it this year? The calendar?"

I stopped to think about what I saw. There was the table with a new lily in the same souvenir cup I put the one Jasper gave to me earlier. The calendar hanging by two small but heavy duty circular magnets was on the refrigerator on the other side of the table against the wall. The calendar had the same picture of Mt. Rainier as the one hanging on the fridge at this moment. Charlie's dentist appointment was written on the same day as was my smiley face on the thirtieth that secretly marked the date when I would get to see Jasper again. None of that held any definite proof as the year printed to the left of the big, bold, and black September that announced this vision was taking place this year and not any other.

"Yes."

"But they are not always true, are they?" he asked again.

"Most of the time," I finally answered.

"Why are we leaving?"

Without missing a beat, I breathed, "Edward."

Jasper gently pushed me away to look at my face. "What does he have to do with it?"

"Nothing and everything." He looked at me, confused. "What if we have to do this for them? Edward will never pursue Bella if I'm around. A tragedy brings people together, right?"

"Why does Edward need to pursue Bella?"

I smiled lightly despite of myself. "Fairytale answer: Because Edward loves Bella even if he doesn't know it yet. Selfish answer: I can't spend eternity with you without my sister. I need both of you."

He took his eyes off me as he worked through the information I gave him. I knew without asking he was trying to go through all the scenarios in his mind's eye, figure out every battle plan that would leave me in Forks as a human for another year. I, on the other hand, was trying to figure out what would happen if we didn't end up in the same position as my vision. Would I change the future that was handed to me as soon as I said yes to Jasper if I stayed behind? Were my visions just something that could happen instead of a future reality? I never questioned my visions before now; they always led me in the right direction, but did I really trust them now?

"There is a cabin in Canada. They will look for us there, but if we get a head start…"

"…I will have enough time to change," I finished. "So we're going to do this?"

He finally looked back at me and brushed his fingers against my cheek. "Getting cold feet?"

I an unwanted blush spread across my face. "No. Not yet."

**88888**

Two days later, after school, I was walking toward the cafeteria to meet Bella when Edward pulled me away from the crowd and toward the cafeteria doors. We stood just to the right of them, Edward getting the better view of the crowd rushing to their cars and busses. By the look of the anger in his eyes, he knew something was up. I tried to think back to the times I was around him, and couldn't think of anything that would have incriminated Jasper and me. But I couldn't remember every thought I had in the past couple of days either.

"It's not hard to pick up a random thought. I've gotten used to picking out the most important information over the years," he said, half growling at me.

"I don't know..." I started before my vision went dark. I stopped seeing Edward in the same manner I stopped seeing the football game Sunday. He was replaced by a darken scene of Edward and Bella dancing together. He was in a simple but elegant black tux and she was in a beautiful blue dress. He leaned in as she closed her eyes. Just then Edward's face was in mine and everything was lighter. "…what you're…talking about."

"Alice." This time his voice came out with a low growl.

For the first time in a couple of days, I felt my visions were leading me in the right direction. I finally felt by leaving with Jasper, Bella would get what I just saw. At this point in time, neither of them wanted it, but they would soon, and it would all turn out for the best. My selfish and fairytale scenarios were going to converge.

"I don't want that," he said.

"Right, then why did I see it? You and Bella are going to kiss, fall in love, and she is going to join me as a vampire. You and I will get what we selfishly want," I spoke with confidence.

"You are selfish," he spat at me.

I sighed. "I know I am, but if she doesn't come with me, I won't have anyone. If I don't go, I won't have anything. I'll say it until I'm blue in the face, but Jasper and I _need_ each other. You'll find out you'll need Bella."

"I don't like it."

I heard the heavy meaning in his words. It held me back for a split second until I worked up the courage to voice the words he already heard. "I don't care if you don't like it because it's going to happen."

He opened his mouth, but it instantly closed. His eyes left mine and he grunted for me to stop talking.

_Bella…_

I placed a fake smile on my lips and tried to relax my stance as I turned around and greeted my unknowing sister. "Hey, Bella. Are you ready to go?"

"Yeah," she answered. "I guess I am."

Her eyes glanced at Edward and I looked with her. He was unable to look at my sister which made me smirk. Without saying a word, I showed Edward how much Bella looked ready for her first kiss and then walked away.

"Don't forget that you're not the only one here," he called out to me. His words were cryptic enough that I had to spend a second longer to figure them out because he couldn't have meant Bella. We already discussed who would be around for Bella. Charlie. He must have been talking about Charlie. But he would be fine. So would Renee. Eventually, they would move on. And I didn't plan on leaving them for good. Once everything calmed down, once I could be around humans long enough to have a conversation with them, I would come back. It wouldn't be long. Would it?

_Bella…_

My mind went back to her. As confident as I felt about the vision becoming a reality, my selfishness meant she would never completely forgive me for leaving her in the dark and then stepping out of her life completely. As soon as she saw the note, everything would break between us. I just hoped Edward would stand up and do his job perfectly so she would have someone…

"What were you talking about?" asked Bella, breaking me from my thoughts.

"Nothing important. Just ignore him for right now." I jumped into the driver's seat of the truck even though I hated being there and leaned over to take the keys from Bella. "Hurry up. We've got to make dinner for Charlie."

For the rest of the night, I could think of nothing else but hating Edward. I was confident before those last words caught up to me. He did it on purpose, I was sure. It was most likely to make me put a stop to the decision I already made, but I didn't call, didn't once sneak a look at the phone that was always nearby because I was sure if I didn't leave, everyone's future would change into something we didn't want.

"I'm going to miss you," I said, absentmindedly as I crawled into bed next to Bella that night after my shower, Edward's words still weighing heavily on me. The nervousness about the next day was also making me an emotional wreck.

"What do you exactly mean by that?" she asked.

Before I turned my face to her, the tears had already started to fall. "I know we're going to be separated for a while, but I want you to know that I still love you."

"Alice, are you going away?" she yelled, trying to keep her voice down for Charlie's benefit.

I instinctively shook my head. "Not yet, but when we go to school next year, this won't be the same."

"Alice, we have nearly a year to worry about this. Don't be torturing yourself about this now."

"It's just that something Edward said got me thinking," I said, truthfully. "Well, and I've been really missing Jazz lately."

"Jazz?

I smiled at the memory of the origin of his nickname before remembering the ring he gave to his Gershwin girl. "Yeah, Jazz. He likes it since I made it up."

"Get some sleep, Alice," Bella said, almost commanding me.

I yawned, not needing to feign being tired. "Night, Bella."

I fell into a dreamless sleep. One moment I was listening to Bella turn off the light, the next I was hearing a deep voice with a slight twang whisper my name in my ear. My eyes fluttered open to see Jasper standing in a blue tinted bedroom. I realized it was almost dawn and it was time to go.

As I carefully sat up, Jasper handed me the small square box. "Before I forget."

He left me alone to change, and he took the one bag of clothes and toiletries I inconspicuously packed. I placed the ring on last and shoved the box into my purse before softly running down the stairs and into the kitchen. I stopped in the doorway when I noticed the lily sitting in the Mariners cup that wasn't there at dinner just hours before. Everything was turning out exactly how I saw, and that left me just a little unnerved.

I quickly got the note pad and pen by the phone and moved over to the end of the table.

_Charlie, Bella –  
__I'm leaving_

After a couple of false starts which left small ink dots on the white paper and a quick look around the kitchen, I finall_y _started the goodbye.

_I'm leaving. With Jasper. Don't try to find me, please.  
__We'll be back soon.  
__I love you both.  
__Alice_

I stood staring at the paper, letting the tears well up in my eyes before finishing the note with:

_Forgive me, Dad._

I dropped the pen on the table as the tears fell and backed away and into something hard. It wrapped its limbs around me as it gave me a minute to collect the thoughts that tried to push me to stay. "You don't have to do this."

"No," I answered my fiancé, "we do."

The next thing I knew, I was in the Aston Martin as it drove away from Forks, a Washington sun rising in the east through trees and clouds.


	12. I Have You

**Disclaimer:** I do not own _Twilight_ or its characters.

**Note:** In honor of my acceptance into grad school, I decided to post a chapter a little earlier than planned! I hope you all like it! Also, thanks for the reviews! :D

* * *

Charlie was sitting at the table, his head held in his hands, staring at the note. Bella was silent while standing at the stove, cooking breakfast for the two of them. The kitchen looked dark, dingy, a former shell of its colorful self, thanks to the lack of color coming in from the curtained windows.

"Soon…" he said so softly I had to strain to hear the weak voice.

"Hmm?" asked Bella.

"She said soon."

"She said a lot of things, Dad," said Bella, bitingly. "What makes you think that was the truth?"

"But…" Charlie's face slowly rose from the note, the pain turning into resolve. "You're right, Bells. Alice is… Alice is…"

I scrunched up my face in pain, but was unable to cry. My dead heart shattered inside as I took deep, unneeded breaths. My nails dug into my hard skin, leaving long scratches on my arm that didn't bleed.

"Alice… Alice…"

My eyes shot open and I was only vaguely aware of being in a car lighted by a small dome light. With the dream my subconscious showed me still on my mind, I looked at my left forearm. My right hand was held tightly to it by another cold, pale hand. Its mate was coming to my line of vision to brush away tears I thought I couldn't shed. As the calm moved closer to wash out my panicked dream, I ventured a look to the driver's side of the car. The golden eyes that looked back at me shot frantically around, most likely checking for any signs of harm.

"I'm alright. I'm alright," I chanted with each breath. "It's just…a bad dream."

Jasper took his hands away and I looked back down at my arm to see red colored stripes. A jolt of panic ran through me and I lifted my arm to inspect my flesh for any signs of tearing and blood.

"I wouldn't be in here if you did," he said, seriousness backing it.

"I'm sorry. Could you keep me calm for a while?"

"Are you…"

"…having second thoughts?" I shook my head. "Where are we?"

"In Canada. We are a few minutes away from our destination."

My eyes glanced at the clock on the dashboard. 8:00. The last thing I remembered before the dream was watching the green trees streak past the car. The sun was out, but low in the sky. Now everything was darkened and I could barely make out the trees that lined the side of the road we stopped on. "We should get going."

The dome light clicked off and the car rumbled to life again. My dream wanted to creep into my consciousness, but, instead of focusing on my family, I tried to work through Jasper's. Each of them already knew what was up the moment Jasper left, I was sure. Edward probably tried one last time to knock some sense into Jasper. Carlisle would have done the fatherly thing and told him to rethink his plan. Esme. I stopped on the mother of the little coven. She would have been heartbroken; her family was splitting apart for an unknown amount of time. I was hurting her just as much as my family.

And then there was Rosalie. We were forming some kind of friendship, and now I was blowing that all away. It was going to be hard to get that trust back. It was also going to be hard for her to be somewhat civil to Bella. I suddenly felt awful for not having written a note for her. But Emmett would be there for her. And, hopefully, when I returned, he would also help me get back under her good graces.

Thankfully, before my mind was allowed to wander back to my family, we arrived at our destination.

The cabin in the surrounding woods was small, and I could tell it would be a simple one room studio apartment kind of thing before I even stepped onto the porch that ran the entire front of the building. Before getting out of the car, Jasper handed me the key and motioned for me to go while he got the bags. There was a small light on by the front door which made the process easier, but the lack of lighting on the inside was a problem. Instinctively, I moved my hand to the wall on my right to feel for the switch. When there wasn't one, I squinted into the darkness that was cut by the light on the other side of the open door.

"The lighting is unusual," Jasper said behind me. "It's all by the kitchenette."

He walked around me toward what I assumed was the bedroom area and dropped the bags. I started moving the opposite way to where I thought I saw cabinets. Then the lights turned on and I found myself a foot away from the open door to the bathroom I was going to run into. I stepped back and turned to my right where the double bed was located. With heat rising to my cheeks, I quickly spun around to find Jasper trying to stifle a laugh in the kitchen and dining room area.

"What?" I asked, but all he did was shake his head and walk to the front door, closing and locking it. "Hey, just because my eyes aren't as perfect as yours, doesn't mean you can laugh at me." I stomped over to the bags and pulled mine close to me and stomped back to the bathroom. "I'm going to take a shower."

When I came out of the bathroom feeling better than I had all day, I found Jasper sitting on the green wooden futon style couch in front of a barren fireplace reading a book. "I packed you some food. I put it in the freezer."

"You didn't make it, did you?" I asked a little scared but still bounced across the room to the kitchen. I breathed a sigh of relief when I noticed frozen meals stacked neatly on one side of the freezer.

"The silverware is clean."

Nodding my head, I placed the container into the microwave and searched the drawers for a fork and knife. I briefly wondered if it was Jasper who cleaned the cabin or someone he or the Cullens hired. Nothing had a speck of dust or dirt on it, which surprised me for what we were in and where we were. I almost started to feel bad that someone had to clean the whole place just for us when I was more than capable of doing the job when I arrived, but I knew how much I would have complained if I had to clean the bathroom before taking that much needed shower.

The ding of the microwave alerted me that it was now time to dig in. I pulled the fork and knife from the last drawer I looked in, and carefully brought the food with me to the small, two chair table. I ate in silence while watching Jasper read. He looked comfortable and calm; it reminded me of an ordinary day when I was over at his house. If I let my eyes become unfocused, I could almost believe we were there.

After I finished stuffing my face, I leaned my elbow onto the table and rested my head in my hand while my eyes stayed staring at my vampire fiancé. I wondered if he was as nervous about what he was going to do. I wondered if he prepared himself for the moment when he would taste my blood. I also wondered if he was prepared to watch me suffer. He told me weeks ago how much it hurt, how long the pain would render me useless, how much I would wish for my body to just give up and die. He wouldn't do it, but I wished he would leave so he didn't have to watch me.

"Stop staring."

I blushed and busied myself with the dishes. When they were finished, I walked cautiously over to the couch, playing with the drawstring of my dark blue pajama pants. I sat down on the opposite side of the couch and moved from my pants to pulling the long sleeves of my grey cotton t-shirt over my hands.

"Are you going to stare at me all night?" he asked, peeking at me.

"Until I fall asleep," I smiled.

"It makes it hard to read."

"Then don't read?" I scooted across the couch and grabbed his arm, placing it around me. My feet went to rest under me as I pulled my little body into the space next to his torso. He stiffened as he usually did when I was the one to touch him first. "We should talk about what's going to happen now."

"They are already coming after us," he said, placing the open book down on his lap.

"They had to know you were leaving."

"Most of them are hunting, and for the past couple of days I kept my mind occupied whenever Edward was around."

"But he came to me yesterday. He talked to me like he knew it was coming."

"It is. Your graduation is only months away."

"_Was_. It _was_ only months away." I sighed and changed the subject. There would be plenty of times to graduate later. "How long will it take for them to find us?"

"I don't know. A few days? A week? We can't stay for long."

"Tomorrow, then; tomorrow you will do it." I looked up at Jasper as he looked down at me. His breathing stopped. I didn't need his ability to know how scared he was at that particular moment. I took the book from his lap and moved my legs to straddle his thighs. The book was placed next to us as his arms wrapped around me, pulling me closer. I placed my hands on either side of his face. "I trust you," I lifted one of my hands and kissed his cheek before brushing my lips over his, "Jazz."

**88888**

The next morning found me in Jasper's arms under the covers of the double bed. I smiled as the rain sprinkled on the roof above me. "When did I pass out," I asked, not bothering to open my eyes.

"Somewhere between the Battle of the Frontiers and the First Battle of the Marne."

"Thanks for reading. I didn't think I'd be able to sleep without it," I teased, opening my eyes to look at Jasper. I pushed the covers down as he let me go, allowing me to step out of bed and stretch until my stomach growled.

"Eat something and then we're going into town."

I walked to the kitchen, looking back at Jasper sitting on the bed. "Do you expect me to wear this?" – I pointed to my pajamas – "Or do I get to look as presentable as you?"

"I suppose I will allow you to change."

"Oh, thanks." I opened up a cabinet to see what was stocked for breakfast and pulled out my favorite cereal, Rice Krispies. "How –" I cut myself off when I turned and saw the bathroom door closed and the shower turn on. Turning back around, I worked on fixing my easy breakfast, and then stood in the kitchen, leaning on the counter and staring at the bathroom door. With each bite, I thought about what we did last night. It was just kiddy stuff, a make-out session on the couch, but I tried to make it more. We were getting married, after all, but Jasper put a stop to it, saying he'd hurt me if we went farther. Deep down, I knew it was the truth, but at that moment, it felt as though he was rejecting me.

By the time I was finished and cleaned the kitchen, Jasper had come out of the bathroom in a white buttoned down, long sleeved shirt and black pants. I flashed back to the vision I saw in the store with Rosalie. As much as I wanted the vision to come true, I wanted it to be false. Our families weren't there, and I always dreamed of Charlie walking me down the aisle. Defeated, I spoke, not a question but a statement, "We're getting married today, aren't we."

"I won't… Unless you're my…"

I nodded and didn't press him to fill in the blanks. I was smart enough to know he was telling me he wasn't going to change me unless I was his wife just in case the worst happened. If I died, he would have at least been able to call me his wife for a short time. Taking his place in the bathroom, I changed into jeans and a pale green baby doll top with a waist length light brown jacket. I paused in the mirror after getting my hair just right. If I died, what would Jasper do? Would be blame himself? Would he…? No, this had to work out.

"Is everything alright, Alice?" Jasper asked, knocking and breaking my depressing thoughts.

"Yeah, just making sure my hair stays put," I said, opening the door and walking out with my bag to where I set my purse the night before. "I don't know how long I'll have to do my hair before our wedding. I didn't see anything wrong with it in my vision, but I can't be too sure. As soon as we find someone to marry us, I'm going to go find the dress. You won't be able to see me until the ceremony. I'm going to do one thing right." I walked to the door of the cabin, not missing the fact Jasper was still standing by the bathroom. "Well, come on. We have a busy day."

There were three churches in the small town, but it was the last one we visited that was the church we were supposed to be married in. As soon as I saw the cross in the back of the church, I whispered to Jasper that this was it.

"May I help you?" asked an older man in black who walked to us from the hallway to the left of the pews we stood behind.

"We would like to get married today if possible," I said, placing my hand in Jasper's.

"Do you have a marriage license?"

"No."

"I'm afraid it won't be legal if you do not have a license."

"We don't need it to be legal. We just want it to be blessed by God," said Jasper.

_So we can make sure everything goes smoothly_, my mind added.

The priest, who had a round face and white hair, looked at us with blue eyes behind thin wire glasses and smiled. "Very well, then. When would you like this little ceremony to take place?"

"Three o'clock," said Jasper.

"That will give me plenty of time. I will see you both here at three."

"Thank you," I said, taking my hand from Jasper and using it to dig through my purse for my phone. When I found it, I pushed a random button to make the screen light up and looked at the time. It was eleven. I hoped that would be enough time for me to scour the few stores the town had.

When we made it back outside and onto the sidewalk, I turned to the left where most of the shops were situated. Looking over my shoulder with a big smile, I said, "Don't mess up your clothes. I'll be here by two-thirty, so don't show up then or sneak a peek at my dress." I took one step before turning fully around. "I love you." Before letting my emotions get the best of me, I turned my back to my fiancé in search of the dress I knew I was going to get.

It was going to be hard to find the dress, I knew that, but the only two clothing shops in town that held younger styles of clothing didn't hold _that_ dress. Feeling defeated and worried I wasn't going to find it in time – my phone telling me it was one o'clock – I strolled up and down the side streets I didn't hit earlier. I saw a bakery, an ice cream shop, and craft store, and an antique store –

I stopped at the antique store's window. The display featuring dishes, dolls, and even a bike, wasn't what caught my attention. It was the clothing behind them, in the middle of the floor. Specifically, it was what was on a mannequin that had me grinning like the Cheshire Cat in a different Alice tale. I practically ran inside to the dress and was sure I scared the middle aged woman at sitting at the register.

"I've been looking for you," I said, grabbing the price tag. The tag only told me it was six hundred dollars. "And not a bad price."

I quickly did the calculations in my head to figure out if I had enough money in my checking account for the dress and the few accessories I would need and still have enough left over for later. I only figured out at that moment I didn't know where the money was going to come from to help fund our new life. I mentally kicked myself for letting myself forget this major piece of information in favor for other activities.

"Would you like to look at that a little more closely?" the woman asked from her spot at the counter. My mouth answered yes before my brain could stop it, and I stood back to wait for the woman to take it off the mannequin.

For as long as Jasper had been alive, he would have money. Not that I wanted him to have to support the both of us, but we would be fine for a while. I would have to get a job. I snorted as the woman placed the dress in a small three walled compartment, and I shrugged away her odd look. How was a vampire going to get a job? And why didn't I think of this before?

I thanked the woman and shut the curtain. It was too late to think about money and how the two of us were going to live. In a couple of hours, the two of us were going be husband and wife. In a couple of days, I was finally going to be my husband's equal. I carefully changed into the vintage, white, knee length 1950's style dress. It surprised me how well it fit. Nothing needed taken in, not even the bust, which I always had problems with. Stepping outside of the dressing room to look at myself in the full length mirror, I saw myself looking back at a tearful girl. I looked away, smoothing out the wide straps lying over my shoulders.

Screw money. This was it.

Ten minutes later, the woman was smiling back at me as I handed her a check. Five minutes after that, I found myself shopping for white ballet style shoes, earrings and other small jewelry pieces, and a few extra somethings for Jasper's eyes only. By the time I was finished, the locals found me half running, half walking toward the church, my hands cluttered with my purchases.

Inside the church, I met an older woman who told me she helped out with the church. She helped me with the some of the bags and led me to a small room.

"Your fiancé wanted me to give you these," she said, pointing to the lilies sitting in a vase to make sure half of them didn't become crushed.

"Where did he find them?"

"We might be in the middle of nowhere, but we have a great florist." She looked at the dress and I saw her brown eyes soften with a memory. "Now, do you need help?"

I nodded my head once but stopped on the second one, mid nod "Wait. He's here already?"

The woman smiled knowingly, "He left right after. He didn't want to get yelled at for disobeying you."

"Good."

By the time three o'clock rolled around, the older woman, Dorothy, and I had placed the finishing touches on the dress. I had my something old: the dress, my something new: the shoes and the fairly new heart necklace Jasper had given me before prom, my something borrowed: a small handkerchief Dorothy let me borrow, and my something blue, the fake sapphires in my earrings. Dorothy had left me minutes earlier to let the priest, John, know I was ready.

I never realized how hard my heart was going to beat. I never realized how scared I would be even though the rough part was coming later this evening. Grabbing onto the bouquet, I imagined my mother standing next to me saying this was the easy part, marriage was the hard part.

Laughing at my mother, I walked out of the room and into the hallway to wait for Dorothy to press start on a tape of classical music. She insisted it be the wedding march, but I refused. Never once in my dreams of getting married did the wedding march play, and I wanted one part of my dream wedding to come true. When I heard the beautiful Tchaikovsky symphony, my heart burst out of my chest and I turned the corner, gripping hard on the handkerchief and flowers.

My eyes immediately went to Jasper. He stood to the right of the priest in his black suit, black tie, and white shirt with his hands nervously flexing at his sides. Jasper very carefully raised an eyebrow at the sudden onslaught of my nerves. I shook my head slightly, letting him know I wanted to feel this way even if it might send me fainting to the floor. Then his eyebrows pulled together. I lifted my chin to let him to let him know it was my wedding so the music was my choice.

Besides, it didn't stay on too long. Before I knew it, I was standing beside Jasper and handing my flowers to Dorothy so I could hold onto his hands. The priest started in with the normal ceremony, asking if both of us came of our own will, and if we wish to give ourselves to the other. We smiled at each other and nodded.

The rest of the ceremony flew by only because I barely paid attention to John as my eyes were on Jasper. He let me know when I needed to play my part by lightly squeezing my hand, which I was grateful for. We said the traditional vows – "Do you, Alice, take Jasper as your lawful wedded husband…" – and I answered that I did. Jasper did his just as perfectly, maybe even more so. I envied how easy it was for him to stand there even though I knew it was just as hard on him, maybe even more. But the lack of humans surrounding him had to help.

The one part I thought we were going to stumble through was the rings and their blessing, but Jasper surprised me by pulling out two platinum circles from his pocket, one wider than the other but otherwise identical. It was then the tears started to fall, and my embarrassingly sweaty fingers almost dropped his ring. But we made it through that too.

And then it was time to kiss. We met halfway to place a small, innocent kiss on each other's lips. "For eternity," he spoke in my ear.

Wiping my tears away for the hundredth time, I turned to smile at Dorothy and told her to keep the flowers while giving back her handkerchief. Jasper said something to the priest I didn't catch, and then took my hand and led me back into the room to collect my boxes and bags. We didn't say anything as we brought them to the car and placed them in the trunk. Our voices stayed silent as we drove back to the cabin. It was when I made the move to walk to the trunk and retrieve my items, the silence was finally broken.

"I have to follow through," he simply said, his strong arms lifting me as I long imagined my husband would and walking me into the cabin. His only pause was to stop and unlock the door.

He placed me on the floor on the other side of the threshold, and I walked to the bathroom to change out of the dress. I came back into the larger room in my pajamas to see Jasper holding one of the somethings just for him. The thin red and very lacy contraption hanging off his fingers made my whole body break out in the blush, but his surprised yet excited face made me laugh.

"For later?"

Something akin to a growl hit my ears only a half a second before Jasper did, pinning me to the wooden wall behind me. A small pain shot through my back and into my head which made me wince, but Jasper's lips on my made me forget it all. My legs squeezed around his middle as he kissed my jaw down to the neck I bared. The whole moment was reminiscent of the scene at school when he tried to show me how dangerous he could be; only this time it was more urgent, more needy. The scraping teeth against my skin stopped my breath but didn't stop my heart. For that to happen, he needed to push them in, use the little force needed to break my skin and let the venom leak in.

"Do it, Jazz," I begged, whimpering.

The pain I experienced being slammed into the wall was nothing to the pain of having Jasper dig into my soft flesh. My nails tried to do the same to the diamond hard skin of his back but they couldn't make a single dent before my body started to weaken.

"Jasper, I love…" I breathed through clenched teeth, trying not to let him know I was in any pain. "You're strong enough…"

I squeezed my eyes shut so tight I could feel a small tear drop out of the corner of my right eye. As my body started to jerk against, him I felt his tongue lick the wound on my neck, and then his lips on my tearing eye. I smiled at him, my eyes still locked shut; I didn't want to look at him and see my pain reflected in his eyes.

"I told you, you could do it."

After that, everything faded into something darker than black.

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**The Tchaikovsky song:** www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=E6qDOKL_6gM (That's the one Alice picked. Interesting, huh. :D)


	13. Burning the Past

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Twilight or its characters.

**Note:** It's taken this long for another chapter because there was real life stuff going on this month. I'm hoping to get another chapter out this week, but I apologize now if that doesn't happen. I will work hard on it though. Also, thank you to my reviewers! I really do appreciate them all.

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Pain. At first, I was in constant pain. There was nothing but blackness and pain. Then I started seeing flashes of light shooting across the expansive darkness, making bright splotches wherever they landed. Vaguely aware of what my body was doing at the moment, I focused on those lights and noticed each one wasn't just a white light but a memory.

Charlie was pushing me on a swing. We were seven, Bella and I, but Bella insisted she was too old to be pushed. Charlie tried to hide the sadness, but I caught it and let him push me. He looked happy, glad one of his girls didn't feel like growing up that visit.

"Come on, Daddy. You can do better than that," I yelled through the laughter.

The seven year old version of me continued to laugh until the vision started swirling with the black down into an unseen point, making the picture distorted and muddy and turning the laughter into a scream.

The black enveloped me again, jolting me back into a world of constant pain.

Then the burning started.

When Jasper and I talked about the process, how it felt, how long it would most likely take, he spoke about the pain and how it was the worst thing imaginable. He only lightly mentioned the burning. I couldn't figure out why he would misplace that information. No matter what happened to me during the process, the outcome would be him, so I wasn't going to change my mind. Besides, he wanted me to change my mind. Wouldn't this have helped his case?

My mind wouldn't let me focus on questions I couldn't ask.

Another shooting star fell and showed me standing in front of a mirror staring at myself. My long black hair flowed past my shoulders, stopping just below my small chest. I was just a few days over fifteen. For a month, I was thinking about the vision I had: my hair was short, shorter than it had ever been, cut in strange layers that made the ends stick out in odd angles away from my head, and I was in the woods waiting for someone I had a strong connection to. It was a picture of the future; there was no other explanation. My intuition meter was off the charts, and it led me to believe if I didn't cut my hair off, I wasn't going to be sitting in the woods and waiting for the someone I needed to see.

So I cut my hair.

"What are you doing?" yelled my mother from the door of the bathroom.

I stopped mid snip and turned my head to smile at her. "Don't worry, Mom. I have to do this for…him."

Understandably freaked out by my actions and comment, Renee carefully pulled the scissors out of my hand but not before I heard one more 'shh' of the shears cutting off my past.

As it faded away, I prepared myself for the pain. I quickly realized there could be no preparation for it.

There was another light, another memory.

This time, Bella and I were sitting in her room talking about what we were going to do now that the fork appeared in our journey. We both liked Renee's new husband Phil, but we weren't as excited about traveling with him as much as our mom was. So we started talking about Charlie and Forks. Bella, though reluctant, agreed it would be better because of the stability. I agreed because I wanted to be there for Charlie in the way we were there for Renee before she found Phil.

"And…" she said, sensing I wasn't telling the whole truth.

I looked her right in the eye, still unafraid of telling my twin sister about my intuitions since the incident two years before. "I'm supposed to be there. It's the reason for…" I shrugged. "Everything."

Bella rolled her eyes. "You've just run out of guys to turn down in Phoenix, that's all."

"You just wait, Bella. You'll get your fair share of them soon," I laughed.

Pain and lights of the past, the cycle continued until only the burning remained.

The burning became worse than the initial pain; there was no reprieve from it. So I focused on the burn. With each rapid beat from my heart, the burn sluggishly moved away from my chest and to the ends of my fingers and toes. I don't know how long I stayed stuck in the fire, but it was starting to feel like an eternity, the same eternity I was supposed to be spending with Jasper.

Then… A ticking clock. A whispering voice. Fabric moving against fabric. Rubber softly tapping on… Wood? Sounds I knew intermingled with sounds I never found myself paying attention to before weaved around me as the fire in my toes started to fade. I smiled, although I wasn't sure this showed on my lips. It was all coming to an end. Hopefully, it was the end I wanted.

The burning slowly receded back over my ankles and to my knees. It left my fingers, too. The only problem was my heart. It took off, beating faster than I knew it was able to handle. It pulled the last of the pain and the burn from my shoulders and abdomen and sucked it right into the middle of my heart. My chest rose as if someone was pulling me by a string attached to my chest. The imaginary giant holding that cord let go soon after the burning faded completely and, with a moan from my lips, my heart beat for the last time.

I stopped breathing.

The sound of someone speeding to get to my side reached my sensitive hearing.

"Jasper," I finally spoke through a raw throat.

A thud on the side of the bed and the small crack of splintering wood echoed past me.

I opened my eyes and looked at Jasper for the first time…again.

Many scars littered his face and neck, throwing off the light the rest of his face reflected from the lamp on the side of the bed. I could see them falling down past the open collar of his shirt, and I cocked my head to the side, wondering how many more there were on the rest of his body.

"Alice," he said, smiling and making a scar on his cheek tighten.

Something shining from the corner caught my eye which made me realize how unaware of my surroundings I was before now. Instinctively, I knew it was dangerous, and I breathed in, causing the small dust particles I wasn't paying attention to sweep into my mouth. My throat burned with the taste of old blood, and, in a matter of seconds, I pulled myself off the bed and moved to the other end of the small cabin into a protective stance.

My widened eyes took in everything. The shining I saw before was just the rainbow coming from the light in the kitchen, complete with colors I couldn't remember ever seeing before. The dull memory of the lack of dust was becoming overshadowed with the reality that there was a thin layer of dust on everything despite its cleanliness. The wood of the walls looked perfect before. Now, I saw the imperfections, the tiny holes made by other residents and insects. Because of the defensive position of my hands in front of me, I could also clearly see each diamond's flaw. However, the strangest thing of all was my ability to see all this without looking away from my new husband.

"Don't come any closer," I said, seeing him stand up to his full height. "I won't be able to stop myself."

"Have you forgotten who I am?" he asked, taking a step closer.

"No. But you need to stop," I said, my anger starting to rise as he continued to step closer.

"This is what I'm good at," he said with a hint of sadness. Within his next step, my anger dissipated and my body relaxed. With his next step, the false calm left my being.

"Don't," I pleaded, my anxiousness taking over. "Don't make me do it by myself."

"You'll have to learn some day."

Forcing myself to stand up to my full height and putting my hands back down to my side, I tried unsuccessfully to steal some of his confidence. I wondered how he knew I wasn't going to go after him, to give him another scar or worse. I wondered how he knew everything was going to be fine between us as I trudged my way through being a newborn. I wondered…

I watched Jasper take another step, but he never completed it. Instead, I was looking at the two of us. Jasper had his arm wrapped around my bare arm and his face was buried in the hair on the top of my head. I had my head on his chest, tracing the scar just above his belly button. The bed we were on was different. Unlike the wooden double bed currently in the cabin, it was a king sized wrought iron one. When I saw a fully clothed Jasper standing in front of me again, I smiled, feeling almost ashamed of my sneak peak.

"Everything okay?" he asked, a slight panic on his tongue.

"I saw you and me and…" I trailed off and looked away, not caring about the two feet gap between us. "Well, I still have my visions, so that's good. And we were fine. And the bed was beautiful. I'll have to start looking for it for when we go back home. I know it won't be for a while, but–"

Jasper touched my hand, effectively stopping my rambling about the future. I was surprised by how it felt. Before, he was odd, cold and different. Now, he was normal and warm, the same as me. I lifted my free hand to trace a scar on his face. His shaky breath pushed the small particles of dust and dirt toward me, and I sucked them in while I fought with my instincts and closed my eyes. It tasted sweet like honeydew and spicy like cinnamon. I grabbed onto his shirt to pull him toward me. It was a little too hard and caused the fabric to rip, but it didn't matter as much as the feeling that jolted through me when our lips softly met.

I pushed myself into him from the tips of my toes and swung my arms around him. The intensity of the light touch made me want to experience more, made me want my whole body to flutter, not just my head, but the resulting crash onto the floor by my unknown strength woke Jasper up enough to push me back by my shoulders. A rumble dislodged from my chest as I looked down at him. It made him laugh. The sound was deep but musical, something my old ears never caught.

"First, we hunt."

The raw burn of my throat flared, reminding me of the hunger I didn't know I was feeling when my heart stopped beating. "Should I change?"

"You don't _need_ to."

"But I should. That's what you're not saying." I pushed myself off Jasper and stood up, the movement happening so fluid and so fast, it was barely ten seconds later when my hands reached for the simple jeans and t-shirt I thought to pack days before.

"How long did it take?" I asked, not bothering to look at Jasper as I walked into the bathroom at a human's pace.

"You were moving into your fourth day."

"Four?"

"It's average."

I turned around and backed into the bathroom. "So I'm average now?" I teased.

"You know you're anything but," he smiled back.

I giggled, letting the song bounce around with my feet as I closed the door.

Stripping down, I paid attention to what the light of the bathroom did to my skin. It wasn't as strong as the sunlight, but each cell that made up my light skin took the already colorful light and refracted it off me, making a low key shimmer. After covering my skin with the jeans and a blue, long sleeved t-shirt, I looked up at the mirror. I took a shocking breath in, tasting stale water and rusted metal along with chemicals and flowery soap. My reflection did the same, except she was looking at me with blood red eyes. Once again, I had been coached on what the changes were going to be, but I never once gave the red eyes this bright color. I blinked a few times, trying to make them dull, but it didn't work.

I let myself experiment. I closed my eyes and focused on me, on seeing me in the future, trying to see for sure that my eyes would dull and even turn into the wonderful honey color of Jasper's. A smile appeared in front of me followed by my face. I was staring into a mirror as I was now, only my eyes were a dull red with specks of bright gold trying to burst through. Letting it fade away, I opened my eyes to see my pale face and bright red eyes once more.

My reflection unexpectedly frowned.

How was I sure this was a vision and not a hope for the future? How could I have been sure the other vision I fell upon was truth? How could I believe in anything brought from a past that was growing increasingly fuzzier by the second? I stared at a darkening reflection as I tried to remember Bella, Charlie, and Renee. The memory of the two of us driving through Forks and the day before we started school was blurry at best. The sounds of us laughing about the bustling town barely reached my ears. Charlie watching TV while I sat on the couch doing homework was fading. Renee pressuring Bella to tell her about Edward one last time before we got on the plane back to Forks just weeks ago couldn't compare to when I first saw Jasper from the bed I spent almost four agonizing days on.

I tried to cry. My memories were leaving me and I wanted to weep for each one, but all I could do was contort my face into something resembling sadness and pain. It left me very unfulfilled.

Arms slowly curled around me and I hissed, brushing them off violently. My eyes came to focus on the mirror as an empty calm flushed through me. Jasper was behind me, a hand reaching out above my right shoulder. The contorted face staring back at me faded with the memories.

"Why?" I asked, allowing Jasper's hand to sit on my shoulder.

"You'll have to ask Carlisle."

"But I'm asking you."

He sighed. "It has something to do with the venom. It repairs you, fixes everything wrong with your human body to make it the perfect being. It repairs your brain too. It changes the links between them which causes the memories formed as a human to break up." He hesitantly pulled me back against him. "If you keep focusing on the memories you want to keep, you'll keep them."

"What if I don't get to all of them before they fade?" I asked, my tone low and scared like a child afraid to go back to sleep after hearing strange noises.

"It will happen, but the ones you do get to will be ones you want to keep. To remind you of who you were and…who you have to be."

"Jasper–"

"Tell me your stories. It'll help."

"And then you tell me yours. And don't leave anything out this time."

A minute chuckle escaped from behind me. "It's a deal."

There was no need to keep staring at my likeness anymore. I pulled away from Jasper and walked out of the bathroom to find my shoes. The calm pulled away with each step and the hunger worked its way back into my conscious. I slid my feet into the shoes at the end of the bed while looking at my rings. With a glance at a waiting Jasper, I took them off and set them on the kitchen counter. I reached up for the necklace I already knew I took off before coming out of the bathroom the night my change started, but I still found myself in a slight panic when it wasn't there. Jasper shook his head and took the necklace off his own neck and placed it next to the rings.

"Let's go," he said, catching my hand and pulling me to the door. "It'll be fun."


	14. Hunting

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Twilight or its characters.

**Note:** I really need to stop saying I might do something because that's when things get busy... But here's a chapter. I'm hoping within a week the next one will be out. I am working on it, so have no fear. :D

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"My coat," I said, when Jasper's hand touched the doorknob.

He shook his head. "You don't need it. We don't feel the elements like humans do."

Nodding, I let Jasper continue out the door with me in tow. When we stepped outside, I immediately understood. When we came back from our impromptu wedding, the cold Canadian air made me shiver as it whirled around my thinly covered legs. Now, it felt comfortable, as if I was standing outside my previous home in Phoenix in the middle of November.

In the middle of my marveling, my husband let go of my hand and walked forward a few steps. I turned my attention squarely on him. He took a deep breath in, and I took a small, timid one. Something other than the gorgeous blond man in front of me made my mouth water with the venom my body held. I swallowed it and felt the liquid burn down my already raw throat. Jasper looked back at me and smirked. "Come."

It only took one small, light step for him to disappear from the spot. "Hey," I called out, moving in the direction my perfect vision saw him go.

"Use your senses," he said as if he knew I was just about to ask him where he was.

I already heard him. Even though his quick steps were barely making noise on the forest floor and his body didn't hit any branches, I could still hear him. He was ahead and to the right. No, wait, he was to the left. Now he was dead center.

"Stop moving and maybe I'll be able to catch you," I whispered to myself. Jasper laughed. I giggled as I took to zigzagging through the trees and in and out of small clearings. Just like the day I held onto Jasper when he ran home, I felt like I was flying. It was exhilarating; it was amazing.

My breathing became regular as if I was still human and going out for a simple stroll. Instincts were starting to take over as each breath brought in Jasper's scent along with the scent of the pine and firs mixing with other trees, the dirt, the small animals running away from us and the bigger bloodier animals.

Jasper fell in beside me just as I abruptly turned toward the right. It was something big. The heart didn't beat as fast as the smaller, less tasty animals, and the four feet didn't jump around as quickly as the hooves from the deer I could tell were closer. A hungry growl erupted from inside my chest as I smirked, completely into the hunt I was now on.

"Alice," said Jasper as he came back to my side. I hissed at him to stay back and continued on, the anticipation of sinking my teeth into the beast tingling through my venom soaked veins.

I slowed down before a small meadow opened up in front of me. Even in the faded light of the evening, I could see a large dark brown, almost black, animal with dirty tan colored antlers on the other side of the clearing. I knew he was taller than me by a couple of feet and had the knowledge of how to use his antlers in a battle, but I also knew I had agility on my side and my special poison. The only problem was I didn't know if it worked the same on animals as it did on humans.

It didn't matter; the moose was going down.

In seconds, I was pushing off the ground, launching myself toward the animal as he tried to get away. One hand grabbed onto an antler as the other grabbed the fur on his back. My mouth fell down onto his neck and easily broke through the thick skin. He struggled and pushed me against a tree, effectively taking me away from the warm blood I had already gotten a taste of. I heard wood splintering before it fell over not quite drowning out the small sounds of ripping fabric. My hands dug into his skin and antler. A new splintering reached my ears. Bone.

It happened fast. In less than a minute, the hand on his antler fell off with what was left of the bone as the other hand broke through the moose's spine. The animal fell, successfully tumbling me to the ground. As I grappled back to the blood, the cry of the paralyzed moose sounded over the meadow and into the trees. I growled, angry at the moose for making a racket and at myself for letting the animal get the better of me. I jumped around the antlers to grab onto his nose and pushed it up as quickly as I could. When the snap hit my ears, I let it drop and dove toward his neck and back to the blood.

Each swallow of the red liquid coated my throat, quenching the ravenous thirst I didn't know I had just a short hour ago. I drained him dry, only stopping once to send a warning growl to the person trying to get closer to my kill. When I was finished, I backed away from the moose while the back of my hand wiped his blood off my mouth. I smirked and turned around to see Jasper staring at me from the other end of the meadow. I started walking toward him as my hand rose to my mouth and my tongue licked the back of my hand, cleaning the last remnants of blood.

"That was terrible," he teased.

"Show me how it's done then," I said, feeling the warmth of my meal sitting in my stomach along with the feeling of adoration in my chest.

He looked me up and down and plucked a leaf from my hair, laughing and shaking his head. I raised an eyebrow and looked down where his eyes stopped. There were many tears in my shirt, some large, some small, some showing a particular lacy undergarment.

"Like what you see?" I spat out.

"Of course I do, my wife," he said spiritedly.

"My husband doesn't need to sneak peeks," I said, trying my best to be seductive.

Smiling, most likely at my poor attempt, he leaned down and kissed the top of my dirty head. "Later. I still need to show you how it's done."

With that, he took off.

And with a 'humph,' I took off after him.

I chased him once again, followed his scent through the trees as it mingled with everything else. Every now and then, I caught an animal that made me veer off course, but I came back to my senses each time, remembering I was following Jasper to be taught how to hunt without destroying my outfit. And, after that, I was definitely going to see how well I learned.

Jasper came across another big animal before I did. The scent brought us out of the woods and into a large field full of tall, brown grasses. On the other side of a river seventy yards away was a large brown bear. Its front paws had just stepped onto the rocky bank, and it started bending its head down for a drink.

"A grizzly," Jasper whispered as he stopped to let the bear catch his scent on the wind.

It didn't take long for the bear to raise its head at the two vampires – one hungry and one intrigued – watching him. It looked at us and sent a warning growl we clearly heard. I tried half-heartedly to not smile, but my vampire side thought it was funny that the bear thought it could scare us off with a sound. Still smiling, I looked over at Jasper. Slowly, his body was falling into a crouch and a small smirk appeared on his lips as well. An amused rumble sounded from his chest and my eyes spotted the bear turn away even though they still hadn't taken themselves off my hunting husband.

One, two, three, four, five... I counted to thirty as Jasper waited for the bear to get somewhat of a head start before he sprang into action. He was slower than he was just moments before when he was running in search of this food. Whether he was letting me watch carefully – an unnecessary action – or he was letting the bear think it had the upper hand, I didn't know, but I kept my eyes on him as he easily caught up with the bear and leapt onto its back. The bear shook its head in vain as Jasper used his strength to keep it from knocking him off. Leaning down, Jasper's mouth opened upon the vein I could see in my mind's eye, the one that was also calling to me. The smell of the metallic liquid hit my nose and I watched the grizzly fall to the ground with Jasper still hanging on and drinking.

I swallowed the venom building up in my mouth as I walked backward to the trees to climb up one for a better view. Sitting on a branch and watching him drink made me hungry not only for another moose but for him. I had never seen someone move so smoothly, take so little energy to bring down a relative giant. When he was finished, he stood up and looked my way with a satisfied grin. I was sort of ashamed of the way lust and hunger kept swirling around me, locked in a battle for dominance, and it wasn't until now that I realized I didn't know how far his ability could reach a person.

Then I realized I didn't know much about Jasper as a whole as he didn't enjoy talking about himself when it had to do with his early years as a vampire or the family he was forced to leave behind. Before leaping from the tree to meet him, I decided with my excess time I was not only going to keep my human memories, but I was going to make him tell me all of his, even the ones he already spoke of.

"What are you thinking about?" he asked once we had gotten a few feet away from each other.

"Everything," I shrugged. "And nothing."

"Let's hunt some more and then we'll go back."

Nodding, I looked out to my left. As I thought about where I might find something easier to kill, the trees vanished. Pictures started to appear showing me the way I needed to go to find what I was looking for. When I came back to the present, Jasper's face was in mine, his hands on either side of my head.

"We'll find deer behind you," I said, pointing the way with a smile. "We'll get them by the leaning tree just past the large fallen trunk with fungus."

"I don't think I'll ever get used to that," he said, his southern accent thick on his tongue.

"We'll talk about it later," I said, placing a small kiss on his nose. "Now it's time for deer."

We started off together this time. Jasper let me make the decisions, let me lead us to the food. The brown animals moved faster than our previous meals, but their speed was no match for ours. Once again, Jasper showed off his skill, and I showed off my inability to be graceful for once in my life. After a couple more animals and a few more holes in my clothes, I was as satiated as much as I could be.

"Better," he smiled.

"You're going in the doghouse if you don't shut up."

"You're not going to do that."

"How do you know?" I said, almost stamping a foot in frustration.

Jasper smirked then shrugged as he turned around and left me standing in the woods surrounded by our kills, his laughter echoing through the trees

"I hate it when you do that!" I said, setting off after the amused Jasper.

The cabin wasn't as far as I thought it was. When I stepped through a break in the forest, I was almost surprised to see a metal car parked next to a wooden structure. I was, however, very surprised to see Jasper sitting on the front step, his arms resting on his thighs and his eyes resting on the cloudless dark sky. The waning moon stared down at him, casting a little light onto his face. He was worried about something.

"Took you long enough," he whispered.

"I ate too much," I whispered back, walking over and sitting down on his right side. I took his arm and pulled it around me. He squeezed me close to him as I rested my head on his shoulder. "What are you thinking about?"

"Time."

I lifted my hand and gently pulled his face down to look at me. "We have all the time in the world." I saw him open his mouth to refute me. "Right now, in this moment, we do. Let's not waste it, please."

With a small, innocent kiss, I pulled away from him and walked into the unlocked cabin. I stood still in the middle of the large room and listened for his light feet sounding on the old floorboards. A small click, two steps, and rustling clothing reached my ears as I watched his reflection in the dark window come toward me. My lips smiled and I closed my eyes, wanting to feel him rather than see him.

His arms snaked under mine as his nose brushed against my neck. His lips followed shortly afterward, placing a small kiss on the spot where his teeth met my soft skin in a former life. A soft, needy growl fell against my ear, and my body shuttered in a way I didn't think a vampire's body could, especially a newborn's. I pushed myself into him as I turned my head to award him with a not so innocent kiss.

88888

When Monday clocked in, I was sitting on the couch in Jasper's arms, the blanket from the bed I accidentally busted wrapped around our unclothed bodies. "So," I started after I had enough of the very comfortable silence in which my mind tried not to wander to our previous activities, "how far does your ability go?"

"It depends on how closely I'm paying attention to the person and how many people are in a room. When I'm crowded with emotions, it gets harder to focus. Why?"

I shrugged. "Just wondering."

He chuckled knowingly in my ear as my mind focused on my ability. Each vision popped in there. The first time, I was wondering whether everything was going to work out, how Jasper was so confident in me. The second time, I was thinking about deer and where to find them. The situations were different; the feelings I had before each one were also different as one was confused and scared and the other was confident and hungry. I groaned with the thought that my visions were going to be just as unpredictable as they were before I changed. Or worse, they were going to fade away just as easily as they had started to reappear when I moved to Forks. In a house full of amazingly gifted vampires, I was going to be the one who only had strong feelings about the future.

"What's wrong?" Jasper asked, kissing the top of my forehead.

"Nothing."

"It's not nothing," he said. "Tell me."

"I don't know how my visions are supposed to work. I can't figure it out. I didn't even have visions until I moved here. It was like my brain was getting ready for this before I did. All I had before were premonitions. _Feelings._ Except," I paused as I flashed back to the memory I never forgot but very rarely brought up. I remembered thinking about it during the days of constant burning. Through misty memories, I searched for the moment when I was waiting for Jasper the day he showed me just how beautiful he was in the sunlight. Jasper shifted behind me, and I shook my head to let him know it wasn't a vision I was seeing but memories. "Except the one I had at fifteen. I was waiting in the woods with short hair. I cut my hair off after that. I felt if I didn't, I wouldn't have met you. I didn't get to see you then. That was the only bad part. Well, that, and my mom insisting I get help. That was the last straw. I freaked her out one too many times."

"Let's try this," started Jasper, his tone hopeful. "Tell me what you were thinking about when you had the visions."

"The first time, I was thinking about trying to steal your confidence. I wondered how you knew everything was going to turn out okay between us. Then I saw us in a bed we didn't have. The second time, I thought about where to find some food. And then I saw the deer."

"Hmmm…"

It was silent again as we both focused on how to understand my ability. I willed myself to have one, to show a glimpse on how we came to understand it, but nothing happened. Jasper didn't say anything to me for a half an hour, and I refused to be the one to break the silence and be the first to give up on myself. So, for another fifteen minutes, I kept running through my visions and what happened before and after them. But, as we came upon an hour, I let myself wander to other thoughts.

They ventured from Jasper and me waiting out our time in the cabin to what I was going to eat the next time we went out; then they moved onto the rest of the family. Rosalie's face popped in first. I imagined her being angry at me the first time we saw each other. I saw her ignoring me unless she wanted to make a scathing comment in the same manner she did when I first showed up at her table. I smiled as I saw Emmett shake his head with a non-sequitur comment spilling from his mouth.

And then I saw the two of them in a forest with their feet in a half foot of snow. The light sky was cloudy and the snow was continuing to fall. Both of them were looking at the front of the cabin with the black Aston Martin to the left of them.

I blinked and was back inside the cabin. I turned my head to look out of a window into the darkness to check for any following snow. The ground was covered in nothing but grass, dirt, and dead leaves.

"What's wrong?"

"I had another one. I was thinking about Rosalie and Emmett and then I moved into one. They were here. There was snow and it was still falling. I don't think we were here, but I don't know for sure. But I don't think they would be standing outside if we were."

"It looks like our honeymoon is over."

"Well," I started, biting my lip, "they aren't coming until it snows…"

"I thought you'd want to use that time to plan our escape," he said, slowly moving his hand down my stomach.

"That sounds like something you want," I interjected.

"Or to figure out to use your ability," he continued, moving his other hand to one of my small breasts.

"I'm using it pretty well now."

"I guess I'm all out of excuses, aren't I?"

"Yes," I moaned...


	15. Moving On

**Disclaimer:** I do not own _Twilight_ or its characters.

**Note:** I just wanted to say that updates will be sporatic until the end of October. Also, thanks to all my reviewers, and quail1982 for being my beta.

* * *

Standing under the rush of the water in the bathroom, I racked my brain about my visions once again. It had been a while since I did, thanks to Jasper taking my mind off of everything but him for a few hours. Once we had our fill of each other for the moment, we both broke apart and went our separate ways. Jasper started thinking about where we were going next and how long we would have to be there and backing those plans up with others to use just in case. I, on the other hand, collected my clothes and walked into the bathroom, knowing the shower was a great place for me to think.

With my eyes closed, I tried focusing on one person. Jasper was the easiest at the moment, so I thought about him, thought about what he was doing and where he was going. My thoughts showed him smiling at me in the same way he smiled an hour ago, his face full of love, comfort, hope, and a bit of lust. I heard a pen scrape against paper and crack, which made me chuckle a little too loudly. As it faded, I saw myself in the shower with Jasper. Then I saw Jasper looking for a new pen. Then I saw him standing in the bathroom. Then I saw him looking at a map.

I opened my eyes to stare at the cream colored fiberglass shower wall in front of me as I stopped focusing on Jasper. I was bewildered by the changing pictures. They were visions, and I only knew that because I wouldn't have thought about Jasper looking for a pen or a map. He would have been doing other things, fun things. Like…

I heard the sound of another pen crack.

"Alice, you're going to have to stop that soon or I won't have a single pen left," Jasper said, half angry, half amused from outside the bathroom.

"Well, you should learn to keep _that_ in check," I said, haughtily but amused.

I turned off the shower and opened the curtain. After stepping out, I closed my eyes again and concentrated on Jasper. I told myself I wanted to see where he would be sometime in the future. Nothing showed up. I pushed myself to think about where he would be tomorrow. I saw him running through the woods; it was something I knew had to be a memory because of what we did yesterday. At this, my eyes shot open, and I looked at myself in the steam covered mirror. My ability was never going to be understood.

"Don't beat yourself up about it. It'll come," said Jasper when I finally stormed out of the bathroom wrapped in only a towel.

"That's easy for you to say. You only have to feel. I have to predict an ever changing future."

I walked over to the bed and started getting dressed in blue jeans and an orange sweater with my back facing Jasper. After slipping the jeans on, my mind opened up to show me Jasper standing up from the small kitchen table. "Don't," I said after it finished.

"Don't what?"

"You're going to come over and try to comfort me," I answered, placing an arm through a bra strap.

"I was…"

I finished with my bra and turned around with my sweater in my hands. "What?"

"I was only thinking about it," he said, leaning back in the chair. "Do something for me."

I frowned and put on my sweater. "Okay."

"I'm going to eat one of those dinners still in the refrigerator. What will happen?"

Still frowning, I thought about Jasper and him actually eating the frozen food that didn't smell like it could be any good. Nothing showed up at first. Then, as if my brain finally figured it out, I saw Jasper kneeling in front of the toilet. "Oh, _ewh_, Jasper."

He laughed. "What?"

"You're going to make yourself throw up?"

"We can't digest food." He shrugged. "How else will I get it out?"

"Ewh."

"So, you're a lot farther than you think you are."

"Huh," I said, still disgusted at eating and, subsequently, puking up food I once thought as edible. "Oh, um, yeah, I guess. So," I continued, thinking out loud, "all you did was decide to eat food? And then I saw you… When I was in the bathroom, I saw you in the shower with me, then finding a pen, then in the bathroom with me, and then looking at a map. What was going on with you?"

"I was debating with myself," he smiled.

"I see." I walked to the table and sat down across from him, glancing at the papers he had strewn across the surface along with the two broken pens. "Do you think I can see other people like I saw you?"

"It sounds like they have to make a decision about something."

"Yeah, but what if I watch them?"

"What do you think?"

"I think it could work."

He went back to his work, and I leaned my elbows onto the table, placing my head in my hands. I worked on Bella. I wanted to see something that told me she would be okay. I wanted to see that my decision didn't destroy her future. Her future didn't show up. Instead, it was the past. There were the parties I made her agree to have. There were the shopping trips I took her on against her will. There was even the memory of us sitting together and discussing the move. I smiled sadly. They were all decisions I made for her, pushed her into. I wondered if I ever let her make one. I knew there had to be a few, but my new brain couldn't pull one up.

_Show me one decision she'll make on her own_, I thought. Staring at a map of Canada, I followed a road until a piece of paper obscured its end. Then my eyes picked up Bella. She was standing in a moonlit forest. Her skin was pale and shimmering in the same way Jasper's had the night before when I saw him on the front porch. There were other people around her, but they didn't hold much interest to me. I had the proof I wanted. She was going to be alright. She decided to follow me all on her own.

In my happiness, I dropped my arms down onto the table. Before my change, I always expected a table to stop me. I still expected the table to stop me, but, in my excitement, I didn't think about how much stronger I was. It wasn't until the sound of ripping paper and splintering wood caught my ears I realized that oversight.

There was nothing I could do to stop the inevitable. As soon as my arms went through the table, I jerked them back up toward my scrunched up face. A string of expletives spewed from my lips as the wood crashed onto my knees and then to the floor when I pushed myself away. My eyes refused to open back up once they closed; they were afraid to look upon Jasper and the mess I made.

It wasn't until I heard Jasper chortle did I finally take a peak. There was a jagged piece of the table missing, like someone cut it out with a shaky hand. Canada was split into three pieces, leaving all of Saskatchewan on the floor. Other papers, some ripped some not, were also on the floor over the wood. I looked up at Jasper, who was leaning back in his chair, his laughter turning to uncontrolled guffaws, and pouted. At that moment, he reminded me of Emmett, unburdened of hard pasts and unknown futures. I found I couldn't keep my pout for long.

"It's not funny. I just ruined the table," I said, still trying not to laugh.

"I'll leave money."

"That's not the point."

"You'll get used to it," he said, calming down. "And, eventually, you'll be as weak as the rest of us."

"Yeah, if you call being able to take down a grizzly weak."

For the next few minutes, I worked on picking up the papers and the wood. I knew I could perform the task faster than the pace I was working at, but I didn't want to risk it. Plus, I just wanted to pretend to be somewhat normal. It was something that had be done if I wanted to get back to the rest of my family.

"How much money do you have?" I asked, setting the piece of wood on the kitchen counter.

"More than enough."

"I can help, right? Bring in some money?"

"How?"

I turned around and leaned softly onto the counter. "I could get a job." Jasper opened his mouth, but I kept going. "Or play the lottery. Or, you know, buy stock."

"I don't know."

"I wouldn't make it obvious. Just enough to make it worth our while, and maybe buy myself some nice toys along the way."

"We'll see. I want to get through this first."

I nodded. "When are we leaving?"

"You tell me."

Staring at him, I let my eyes glaze over as I focused on a decision from Jasper. The same picture of him running through the forest came up. "I don't know. I keep seeing you in the forest. But that can be at any time before it starts to snow."

"Tomorrow," he said calmly. The look he gave me let me know he noticed my frustration.

I took a deep breath and forced myself to relax. "Well, I already know what you're going to wear."

"That's helpful," he said with a slight smirk.

"Ha. Ha."

**8888888**

"Are you ready?"

I looked up from the table and the letter I was writing to Rosalie and Emmett to see Jasper standing by the door in the clothes I saw on him in my vision yesterday. "One more second."

"I'll be outside."

I nodded and went back to the paper and finished the letter to the couple who would be finding this place. I hoped they would see the note and just forget about following us. Jasper told me how easy it was for us to be tracked by them because we weren't going to be masking our sent and stay under the radar. When I asked why, he simply told me it was because he had his Gershwin Girl. Smiling at the memory, I looked over the note:

_Rosalie and Emmett,_

_Guess who saw you coming!_

_I don't have a grip on my ability yet, but I can see the future!  
__I was able to see you two arrive. It'll be snowing.  
_

_We're leaving the Aston Martin for you both to go back in.  
__I'm sad to see it go, but I've been promised my own fast car in the future._

_I'm sorry for leaving without a word, Rosalie.  
__I hope we can work it out when I come back.  
__Be nice to my sister. She'll be over there more often now.  
__Emmett, take care of her too. Don't let Edward make her cry.  
__Tell Carlisle and Esme Jasper and I are doing great.  
__Jasper misses everyone too.  
__It won't be long before we call._

_Love,  
__Alice & Jasper Whitlock_

Leaving the letter next to the keys, I stood up and walked out into the cloudy afternoon. The sun stopped trying to peek through hours ago, letting the clouds overtake them and start dropping the tiny snowflakes I saw the day before. I stood on the porch watching each individual snowflake show me its beauty.

Standing near the car, Jasper turned to me and held out a hand. "Ready?"

I smiled and bounced over to grab his arm looked up at him. He bent over to kiss me. "Always."

I let go of him and he took off, me on his heels.

Even though I was weaving through trees, I didn't need to focus my whole mind only on that. Instead, I let it wander as we ran to a destination I saw but wasn't told specifics about. I figured it was just a new game for Jasper that also helped me work on honing my ability. Sometimes it was annoying, but, most of the time, it was extremely helpful. If I didn't have him, I knew I would be running around with a headache.

Because of him, I was able to see a phone call in the future. Jasper was there by himself because I was still going to be too afraid to move around the humans. That was the one thing I could wait on. Even Jasper told me that decision was a wise one.

I was also able to see more of my family. I knew what I saw could change, but I vowed to keep checking on them to see if they did. However, I hoped the scenes of Bella and Edward sitting comfortably together in his house weren't going to change. They both looked too happy for that to happen.

It took us most of the night to get to our destination east of our first stop. I was able to see it before we reached it during one of the few unneeded breaks. They were mostly for me. Each time we stopped, I looked for Rosalie and Emmett and if there was going to be any immediate trouble before we reached the new cabin that sat further from civilization than the previous one.

It still moved as such: Rosalie came into the cabin. They found the letter. They went to town and found out about our marriage. Then they called Carlisle. Then they left in the car.

There were no dangers in our path. Jasper at a pay phone was still part of the future.

Each of these similar visions gave me hope. To me, it meant Jasper and I were still happy together and we would be back with the Cullens sooner or later. It made me think about what name I would take once I was strong enough to go back to school with the rest of them. I quickly figured out I would take Cullen. Swan would always be my past, and I would be a Whitlock forever and always, but Cullen just sounded right. And I couldn't wait to be Edward's annoying sister.

"We're here," said Jasper, slowing down before hitting the small clearing where the two story cabin sat.

I walked up beside him once he stilled and looked up at the log cabin I only saw in visions. It was bigger than they made it seemed. "Wow…"

We walked up to the back door, and Jasper took out two items from his pocket that looked like bobby pins and kneeled in front of the lock. In less than a minute, there was a click and Jasper was ushering me inside. This time, I didn't need the light on to see how the place looked. To my right there was a large living room where most of the plush furniture sat facing a fireplace that sat in the middle of the room. Stepping farther in, I could see a pool table on the other side of that fireplace. I turned to Jasper and raised an eyebrow. He just shrugged and flipped on the lights.

I followed him as he walked toward the front door and turned on a few more lights. To his left along the wall was as a staircase that, I supposed, would take me to the bedrooms. I left that for later and let my eyes wander to the last room on my left: the expansive, rustic but modern kitchen we wouldn't use.

"Who lives here?"

"No one. It's abandoned."

"If it's abandoned then why is there power and," I stopped to smell the air one last time, "why does is smell as if someone recently cleaned?"

"I don't know."

I folded my arms in front of me. "You need to start talking about yourself. I want to hear everything. I can take it. My skin is thick now."

He sighed and walked back to me. Wrapping his arms around me, he said, "There are just some things about me you don't need to know."

I pulled my arms out from between us and wrapped them around his waist. "If your past haunts you, it haunts me too."

He didn't say anything, just squeezed me closer.


	16. His Story

**Disclaimer:** I do not own _Twilight_ or its characters.

**Note:** Thank you for reading. Sorry it has taken this long. Also, if you're interested, I am posting a Jasper POV one-shot about the moment he saw Alice. Enjoy!

* * *

"Peter, Charlotte, and I spent our time here after they _rescued_ me from Maria."

His voice reverberated through his chest, making the sound louder than it would have been if I wasn't pressed against him. I stared at the kitchen as I processed the information. Rescued; he never used that word before. All he said was that he followed the lead of Peter and Charlotte and left Maria. I remembered that tidbit of information like it was yesterday because, while I let myself lose memories of my past with my mother, I didn't let myself lose anything I learned about my husband.

"You followed..."

"Their lead, yes."

"But they..."

"Were there," he finished for me again. "They came back for me. I had already begun suffering from Maria's," he took an unnecessary breath, "power. I told you I was growing depressed. I couldn't continue to kill newborns anymore, yet I did. I did it because of her."

I pulled away from him and took a step back. He was staring at the unlit gas fireplace but wasn't seeing the logs sitting inside. His eyes were far away, remembering a past that was just as solid as this moment. I tried grasping onto it, but it wasn't real for me like it was for someone who lived through it. All I could do was see the fading pictures of my history textbook.

I reached for him, letting my fingers softly fall down his forearm before embracing his hand. Taking deliberately slow steps, I pulled Jasper to the brown leather couch. With my free hand, I lightly touched his jaw to bring his focus back to me.

He was ashamed. Not only could I see it in his posture, I could feel it whirl around me. I shook my head as a sheepish smile fell onto my lips. "You loved her."

Startled by my words, Jasper shook his head. "It wasn't love. I finally learned that when I met you."

"You are so cheesy," I joked, trying to lift up his spirits.

"It was manipulation and lust," he said, continuing on. "From the moment she sunk her teeth into me, she had me. I was just too stupid to see that until it was too late."

"But you got away," I said.

"Barely."

"Jasper," I sighed, "if it was barely, then we wouldn't be talking right now and you wouldn't have met the Cullens. And you most likely wouldn't have let Peter and Charlotte take you away."

Jasper sighed. "After Maria changed me, I tried to get a grip on what was happening. It wasn't working because a newborn cannot process much more than finding food and fighting to keep it when in the company of others. Do you want to know how I did overcome it?"

I nodded.

"About a year after I was changed there was a fight. I will not explain the details, but I will say I won it by ruthlessly killing twenty other newborns. Not only was I awarded with a fresh kill, I was awarded with sex. I later learned she had her eye on me from the moment she saw the blond human on the horse and was just waiting for the day when I showed her I was ready. The whole experience was different, but good. Never had I felt like that. After a couple of months of showing her all of my abilities, I was moved up to be by her side.

"I ran her newborn army the way a drill sergeant weeds out his new recruits, the only exception being human recruits don't get their necks snapped off and thrown in a pile of body parts to be burned.

"For decades, I stayed there. I helped her kill her fellow leaders. I helped her kill other leaders with newborn armies of their own. It was ever the same. Even when Peter, a vampire who was also picked by Maria to be a part of her special servants, started becoming disillusioned with the whole process, I continued to use what the devil gave me in order to help the power hungry succubus.

"Then Charlotte showed up and changed everything for Peter. She broke the spell of the newborn bloodlust in record time, one of the few I've seen do this, you included."

He stopped and squeezed my hand. I squeezed back and nodded for him to go on.

"Peter fell in love with her and began a relationship far different than mine. I understood the infatuation because it was the same for Maria and me. But I was wrong. When Peter started talking about leaving the army with Charlotte, I realized this.

"Before Charlotte, if someone asked me if Maria and I would still be the same without the army, I would have said yes. She respected me and I her. We talked about things, albeit they revolved around the army even if it was just something as simple as the weather, but I would have protested with falsities about how we cared for each other. After Charlotte, I saw that what Maria and I had was called convenience and lust. She had power over me in a way I was never going to crawl out from under.

"It was Peter's job to kill Charlotte when Maria saw how horrible the other woman was at fighting. They left that night after asking me to join them.

"I never told him how I could feel the last second realization and pain of a vampire's death, but Peter noticed. He saw how my job was slowly killing me. And it was. I can still feel them. Each individual emotion from each individual vampire. He wanted me to break my ties with Maria, but she held so much power over me I couldn't gather the courage, or, as Emmett would say, the balls, to leave.

"After that, Maria and I started drifting apart. She was more than a little upset by my inability to stop Peter from running away. It fueled her obsession for mayhem and power. I was no longer jaded. My fall back to reality hit me hard, and if Peter thought I was depressed before he left, he should have seen me then.

"The emotions I was getting from the newborns fueled the hatred I had for myself. I tried to be mad at Maria, but I couldn't. She never put on a different face for me. She was a manipulator, and she manipulated me. She had obsessions, and she shared them with me. She was domineering, and I was always her willing servant.

"I couldn't die, and it wasn't for a lack of trying. I never considered trying it by my own hand. Even though I was in Hell, I still thought my soul might find redemption, so I couldn't soil it more by committing suicide. I tried letting the newborns take over that job, but every time they came for me, my instincts took over and I stood victorious.

"Finally, thank God, I grew numb to all emotions. I thought I could do it after that. I thought life would be easier. It wasn't, of course. When my emotions went numb, everything slowed to a stop. I don't know how long I was there, going through motions without thinking, being with Maria without feeling the pleasurable end, and seeing Mexico in black and white.

"Peter found me near the Eastern Texas/Mexico border. Maria found another person to pleasure her once I started on an unchanging routine. Despite the state I was in, I knew my time with Maria was slowly coming to a close and soon I would get what I wanted. Although, I was sure she would keep me alive just to play with me."

He stopped talking. A small smirk appeared on his face, and I my eyebrows scrunched together. He shook his head. "I guess I still had hope. I hoped for Maria to bring me face to face with the elusive Death.

"That's how Peter found me. It was coincidental only in the fact that he thought I was still in Mexico. The words they spoke are not important to my story because I focused on their emotions. I grew sick. It was like a kid eating too much candy on Halloween. I couldn't take the positive, the sweet, the comforting. I lashed out at them. No, that's a lie. I lashed out at Charlotte. What should have been a death blow for going after someone's mate was only a hard punch that sent me skidding across the dirt."

This time Jasper smiled and leaned in to place a kiss on my forehead. He let go of my hand to pull me close to him. If crying was possible, I would have cried then. Instead, I moved onto his lap and wrapped his arms around me while I laid my head on his shoulder.

"He saved me. Moving when no humans would take notice of us, we fled up the Mississippi. We reached Canada within two weeks. Since escaping, Peter and Charlotte became nomads as many vampires were and still are. I persuaded them to stay at a cabin I found. It was," he squeezed me close to him, "inhabited by a family with small children."

"You didn't..." I whispered.

"I still hadn't become a _vegetarian_, Alice. At the time, I thought changing my scenery and getting away from Maria would rid me of the feelings I experienced when a person's final moments came. I was too hungry when we killed them to care about anything else. After that, I was too much wrapped up in getting used to my new life. I realize that is not an excuse for killing a child, but that's who I was. That's who you married."

"I understand," I said, swallowing back the disgust. His words were true, but whenever I pictured him before he came to live with the Cullens, I never thought of him killing innocent children.

"It only took Peter and Charlotte six months to get bored of the lifestyle I was gravitating toward," he continued, his arms still holding me tightly as if he was afraid of losing me over this information. "When they left, I was fine. When they came back for a visit a decade later, I was back in my depressed state.

"When they were gone, I killed for food like I usually did. I didn't count on feeling their last moments more than I ever felt the newborn's feelings. It could have been because the humans knew what was going on where as the newborns had another, more powerful, feeling overtaking them. I tried to do it in their sleep. Most of them woke up, and, if they didn't, their bodies knew instinctively how to react. It drove me mad, so much so that I stopped eating until my body couldn't take the craving. That was worse because then I went overboard.

"I was back in a stupid cycle. Peter saw this life was also not working well for me. First, he suggested getting a mate. After I scoffed at that, he told me about the Cullens, a family who fed on animals. I scoffed at that as well. We got into an argument that night, and he left.

"It took me five years to finally allow myself to consider the possibility that I could be happy. It was 1955 when I found the Cullens. They were living in Maine at the time. Esme took one look at me and smiled, and for the first time since I was changed, I felt I had come home. She still reminds me so much of my mother.

"She died five years before the start of the Civil War. I'm still surprised I can remember her with as much clarity as I have."

"Don't you feel better?" I asked, basking in the comfort of our embrace.

I could feel his lips brush the side of my head. "You're not scared of my past."

"No," I answered even though it was far from a question. "I feel closer to you because of it. So, where are Maria, Peter, and Charlotte now?"

"I don't know what has happened to Maria. I'd imagine, if she's still alive, she is continuing some sort of hope for war. One would think the Volturi put a stop to that years ago and finished her off. They don't appreciate it when humans find out about our existence, and that was where Maria was headed.

"As for Peter and Charlotte, they come by every now and then. They respect our vegetarian pact and stay away from the town when visiting.

"And this place is the second cabin to be placed on this spot. I had it built two years after the first one burned down. I come out here at least twice a year. I haven't told anyone about it, and if Edward has gotten the knowledge about where this place is from Peter or Charlotte, he hasn't let me know."

"So, he could know where are."

"Most likely, but once Rosalie and Emmett get back to them, I'm hoping he'll realize we need to be alone."

"I...hope..." My words started to fade from my lips as I caught the sound of a motor. It was a decent distance away from the cabin, but I could hear it as clear as if it was coming from the front yard. For the second time since we sat on the couch, Jasper squeezed me to him.

Snowmobile. It was a snowmobile driven by a human with warm blood I could now smell. I closed my eyes and let out an excited growl for what was obviously coming my way.

"Alice, you're going to have to stop thinking about it," said Jasper loud and clear behind me.

"I can't," I said, opening up my eyes and realizing I wasn't going to pass this test. I already tasted the liquid my body craved.

"You can because you're better than me. I'm going to let go, so I can tell Martha to leave. You're going to do whatever it takes to stay inside and away from her. If you can't, go out the back and find an animal. Do you understand?"

"Martha?"

"Alice, do you understand?"

"Yes, but—"

"She cleans the place. I forgot to tell her we'd be coming."

"Oh."

Jasper took that moment to let me go. I stood up and walked to the back door as he walked out of the front, just in case. Before Jasper could say a word, my instincts took over and a large breath brought Martha's sweet blood taste over my tongue. I was surprised how my body responded to hers compared to an animal. I could already tell it was going to be smoother, the skin around it saltier, the whole experience better than anything I ever had before and will have again.

A foot stepped toward the front door and my hands flew up to my mouth and nose simultaneously. I wasn't going to let this bloodlust take over. I wasn't going to become what Jasper hated, or, at least, I wasn't going to become something Jasper might have to kill. I couldn't do that to him. I wouldn't do that to him.

My other foot stepped forward, and I shook my head. I couldn't believe how hard it was to fight for control over my body. The pull to become the vampire I was supposed to be was so great, I could think of nothing but blood and see nothing but red.

"Jasper," I barely whispered as I tried not breathing. It was too late, though; the scent was already in every vampiric cell. "I'm not going to make it."

My feet rushed toward the front door. I saw it open and Jasper's emotionless face. I heard the snowmobile start. Not even trying to stop myself, I ran into Jasper's chest. It sounded as if a bat was cracking against a baseball, but it was louder than the crack of thunder.

"Don't hate me," I said, my voice muffled by my hands.

He chuckled and wrapped his arms around me while he shuffled us back inside. "I could never hate you even if this moment took a turn for the worse."

"That was worse."

He just held me and continued to chuckle.

**8888888888**

A month passed by before I knew it. During that time, Jasper and I got used to each other. He learned to accept that I could be whiny and then manipulative when I didn't get what I wanted. I learned he needed a couple of hours a day in silence or else he'd become cranky. We both stayed away from town, and I went out almost every day to feed to make sure I stayed me. Jasper told me I didn't need to go out that much, but then I whined and he gave up.

We both kept working on my ability until the day came when I didn't get a headache from focusing on one subject for too long. That day I saw Jasper in town talking on a pay phone.

"Don't tell her about Martha please."

"Hmm?" he asked, looking up from his book.

"You're going to be on the phone in a couple of days and," — I paused to see Bella sitting in Edward's room — "yeah, Bella will be there. So, don't tell her about Martha."

"You didn't do anything to talk about."

"We both know that isn't true."

"You're not going to be there?" he asked, changing the subject.

"No. I'm not strong enough. You'd have to kill me to stop me, but you won't. You've made that decision already and you'll never change it."

He looked back at me with sad eyes that were stuck in a scenario we both never wanted to happen. "I can't."

"I know," I said, smiling.

The next month slowly passed by once I found myself making a decision to go into town with Jasper. It was hard, but when I stepped close enough for my vampire senses to start going crazy, Jasper grabbed onto my hand. From there until we got to the pay phone, our steps moved in a tolerable pace and my mind was occupied more with thoughts of home than the humans surrounding us.

At the pay phone, we continued to stay near to each other as Jasper talked with Esme and Emmett. Then it was time. Finally, after months of only being able to see Bella, I was going to hear her.

"Why don't you ask her yourself," he said once Bella picked up the phone at the Cullen's.

I took the phone from him. Last time Jasper talked to her, he said she missed me. Did she change her mind? Did she lie to him? Was I going to get reamed for not contacting her before now? Did she hate me for starting on eternity without her?

"Bella," I said, giggling her nervousness away.

"Alice, is that really you?"

And just like that, everything fell into place again.


	17. Unexpected Arrival

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Twilight or it's characters.

**Note:** It's a short chapter, but it's something, right? I know where the next chapter is going, so I'm going to try to get that one out before homework becomes a problem. If I don't, just know I'm slowly working on it. Have no fear... I will finish this! (I want it to be by the end of the year, but I'll have to see how life goes.)

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It was the end of March, and I was finally starting to become comfortable in my new skin and my new light red eyes. My strength was another story. It was hard to be delicate with objects I couldn't even dent before. By the time February rolled around, Jasper was starting to believe I was destroying the kitchen counter just so he would stop trying to teach me how to play chess. What I was doing was keeping myself busy. I was used to leaving my home, going out with friends, spending what little money I had on just about everything, but now I was stuck inside a cabin, only leaving to go to a pay phone inside town every Wednesday to talk to the Cullens and my sister. And that stopped once Jasper bought me a cell phone. He told me it was so I could call at any time, but I just saw it as the lock on my cage.

However, I couldn't say my time within the cabin was horrible. I was taught about Jasper through micro expressions and mannerisms I never would have caught with my human eyes. His favorite stories and games also taught me who the man I married was and still is. On the same hand, at least once a day, he told me to share a story about my past with him, even if I had already told it to him, just so I wouldn't lose the memories that were still very important to me.

He also taught me how to pretend to be human by fidgeting, blinking, and breathing without taking in one single breath. We both worked on making my visions work for me and not the other way around. At the end of December, after celebrating a very quiet Christmas, I finally felt I understood my gift. Of course, I knew it would be a while before I mastered it, but I was definitely on the right track.

As for my family, new and old, I made sure to keep track of them through the phone calls and my gift. Charlie, on certain weekend mornings he hung out with Billy and Harry fishing or watching a game, disappeared. The close proximity to people I learned were wolves made it impossible to see, making it hard to check in on him. There were some times I didn't even see my sister, and I knew she was with Jake.

Edward refused to say anything to me until the beginning of the March when he finally let me say, "Take Bella to prom. You won't regret it." He answered with grumbles and grunts and handed the phone off to Emmett. Bella and her lack of understanding about the men around her annoyed as much as worried me. My vision of her and Edward kissing at prom, a vision I saw soon after I spoke to Edward, was a step in the right direction for them, but a vision of her as a vampire it was not. It told me there was still a very long road ahead for the three of us.

I made sure to keep Esme and Emmett pushing Edward in their own way. Rosalie was a tough sell because of how I treated her and because she thought Bella only wanted to become a vampire to be with me again. It took many calls for me to explain that wasn't the real reason, and she would see that soon. She reluctantly agreed to go with Esme to help Bella shop for a dress under the guise of finding a dress for her and Emmett's personal party the same night as the prom.

"What's going on in there?" he asked, breaking the silence of the late morning.

With my head on the pillow and my legs wrapped up in the white sheets, I smiled, my eyes closed, focusing on his finger moving softly up my bare back. "Just thinking about tonight."

"Hmm, prom. Do you remember last year's?" He lifted his finger and moved around on the bed.

I opened my eyes. Jasper was lying on his side, his head propped up on his hand, his face only inches from mine, waiting for an answer. "Of course. That was the day I learned how good you look in a tux."

"Oh, I see." The corner of his lips turned up before he fell onto his back.

It was my turn to move onto my side with my head resting on my hand. "And, if you want me to get sappy, it was the night I knew I loved you."

"But you told me you knew before you ever met me."

"Just a lie."

"Really…"

I smiled. "No, not really, but a girl always has doubts at the beginning, especially when she hasn't actually met him yet. That's why my sister has problems. She listens to the doubts when she should be listening to her heart. But, after tonight, everything should be clear, even for her."

Jasper shook his head and sat up on the bed, placing his feet on the simple green rug below the bed. "Are you sure?"

Shrugging, I sat up on my knees behind him and wrapped my arms lightly around his neck. "The last time I looked, the night was going turn out great for them. So far, nothing's changed."

"If it did, would you warn her?"

I thought about the question for a second, but it was a no brainer; I was giving Bella a meddle free evening. "Nope."

"Good." He kissed an arm and stood up, breaking my grasp on him. "It'll be more of an adventure for her."

He walked to the sliding glass doors, and opened the curtains, allowing the few rays of sun that passed the tall trees to come in. I followed him, picking up the black shirt Jasper wore last night and put it on. Leaning into him, I knocked my head on his back before my fingers moved to play with the elastic of his green boxers.

"I just hope she realizes he's going because he wants to and not because I asked him to over the phone. The last thing I need is for her to doubt him enough to change her future."

"And what is her future?"

I dropped my hands to my side, but stayed standing in the shadow of Jasper, my head still leaning on his back. "Us. Someone in the family is going to change her. If she opens herself up, it'll be Edward."

"Are you sure about that?"

"No. What I do know is that she'll be a vampire. I saw it. She's so sure of her decision that it keeps coming back to me. But I don't know who will do it. I'm hoping Edward, but if it isn't, maybe Carlisle?"

"I don't think he will."

I stepped from Jasper's shadow, allowing the sun to dance across my sparkling skin. "Why? He's already done it before."

"When needed."

"Well, this is needed."

"Changing someone so they can stay near a loved one is not what Carlisle would call needed."

I frowned, anger building up inside. I was having a hard time not feeling as if those words were for us and our relationship. If he didn't want to… Then he didn't have to… And this whole conversation wouldn't… Finally, I said, "What about Esme? You can't tell me he did that out of necessity."

"She was dying."

"My sister _will_ die," I said, trying to calm down. This wasn't a conversation I wanted to be having at this time.

"After a long and fulfilling life."

"How do you know? Can _you_ see the future?"

"No. I'll leave that up to you." Jasper walked away from the window to the bathroom, stopping only to grab a pair of jeans. "I'm going out to hunt. Do you want to come?"

"I'm not hungry," I said and walked back to the bed.

888888

It wasn't until the afternoon when Jasper left. Hunting wasn't his reason; his eyes weren't the dark grey or black I normally associated hunger with, and I was usually hungry before he was. To give him the privacy he wanted, I kept myself busy with mundane activities such as laundry, sweeping the floors, and walking around the property, looking at the scenery. However, none of them were taxing enough to take my mind off Jasper's lie and what he could be doing.

It was after placing the comforter on the bed we shared that I gave myself permission to take that peek. After all, Jasper was more than likely expecting me to. Well, it was the lie I told myself, and I was going to stick to it. Plus, I wanted to make sure he was doing okay like any loving wife would.

Sitting in the middle of the bed, my legs folded in front of me, I focused on Jasper. He was in town, standing by an older gentleman with a large puffy black coat. Money was being exchanged; by the looks of it, a great deal of it. Jasper was smiling and staring at the large vehicle next to him. It was a shinier blue version of the 1950s red truck given to Bella and me.

"Oh, no you're not," I said to the room as it came back into view. "I refuse to drive Tank II."

I crawled off the bed and headed back downstairs to move the wet clothes into the dryer. Halfway down the stairs, another vision started to cloud my view. I was not looking forward to seeing Tank II or some other gag gift from Jasper and hoped it had something to do with Bella since I made sure to keep a constant eye out on her as well, something I figured out how to do in January. Since then, Jasper had been pushing me to widen it to the rest of the family, but I refused to over tax myself before I truly had a handle on it all.

The woods surrounding our cabin appeared. Two people ran from the group of trees near the front of our home into the small clearing lighted by the security lights. Neither of them was recognizable by me. One, the woman, was small, about my height with shoulder length very blond, almost white, hair. Her features were delicate and, if it wasn't for the red eyes, I would have believed she hadn't the strength to swat a fly. The other, a man, was tall, about as tall as Jasper, with the same extremely blond hair as his partner only it was longer, stopping at his shoulder blades. Both came to the front door with purpose; they had been here many times before.

Coming out of my trance, I rushed to find the large sketchbook and pencils Jasper bought me during my first trip into town. I sketched the man first, taking care to get his features right: his square chin, his long, skinny nose. His lips were fuller than in my drawing, but I had never been the best at drawing faces; my specialty lied with clothing and still life. When I saw the sketch of the woman, she looked like me except for the longer hair and smaller nose.

Jasper returned after I finished both sketches, put the laundry in the dryer, and played ten games of solitaire at the kitchen table. He greeted me with a smile and was about to kiss my forehead when he noticed the two faces looking up at him. Recognition set in his eyes, and I knew the strangers weren't going to be as bad as my imagination led me to believe.

"Peter and Charlotte," he simply said.

"They're coming tonight. There weren't any time markers other than it is dark, but I can just feel that it's tonight."

I turned from Jasper and looked around the kitchen and the living room beyond it. "Do you think we should clean up the place?"

"It looks fine. They'll be more surprised by you than the lack of dirt in the cabin."

"Take a dust rag."

I spent the evening of Bella's prom not checking up on her but cleaning the cabin until everything shined. During that time, Jasper continued to tell me the place looked worse in the many years he's had it, but I refused to listen to his veiled complaints.

"I hope he remembers to make Bella take a picture," I said, putting the cleaning supplies back under the kitchen sink.

"He will."

"Until she starts whining about it."

"It's one of the few straightforward demands you've place on him. He'll do it."

"I hope so. I want to see her in her dress."

"Which you've already seen," he said, heading to the couch in the living room.

"Yes, but a picture is better," I said, following him.

Jasper shook his head as he abruptly turned to the door. My head swung to the left to look out the window. They were here. Following Jasper, my excitement was being overtaken by my nerves. What if they didn't like me? What if they wanted to bring someone home to eat? What if they made me join in?

I stayed in Jasper's shadow as he opened the door, despite knowing it did nothing to hide me. What I wanted was to hear the tone of their voice in order to gauge their personalities before seeing them.

"Jasper," Charlotte exclaimed. "We didn't think you were coming up this season."

"Perhaps it has something to do with the quiet one hiding behind him," Peter said in a playful tone.

"In a few minutes you'll be wishing she never opened her mouth," said Jasper, joining in.

The three of them seemed like friends picking up again after a short time apart, so I walked out from the shadows with a tight smile on my lips. "Not funny," I said, not so playfully punching Jasper in the shoulder. He grimaced in pain for a second, satisfying me for now.

Turning to the other two, I offered my hand as I greeted them. "Hi, I'm Alice. I'm Jasper's wife, and I'm glad I was able to meet you. Jasper's already told me so much about you two."

"And Jasper's told us nothing about you," said Peter, taking my hand first and looking a little bewildered, a bit shocked, and overall happy to see me with his long time single friend. Those expressions were mirrored in Charlotte's features as well, only with a bit more shock mixed into her smile.

I smiled and backed up so they could come in. "It's understandable. We only met about a year ago."


End file.
